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Tipping altar servers?

SaraAndrew2010SaraAndrew2010 member
First Comment
in Catholic Weddings
Is there a standard for how much to tip altar servers?  Our church is providing 2 altar servers who get a standard fee of $20 each.  Should I be tipping them on top of that, and if so, how much?

I was never an altar server, but I remember classmates in grade school who were altar servers being excited to serve weddings because they got "big" tips.  I'm just not sure what is appropriate.

Any advice would be appreciated!  TIA!
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Re: Tipping altar servers?

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    Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    we didnt have a required fee, but we did opt to give each boy (we had 2) $40 each.  tehy gave up a good chunk of their saturday to be with us (they arrived around 1030 and left at about 1pm).  i also know their family is large, and they dont have much.
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    mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We didn't have them, but my parish recommended $20-25 each.
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    Riss91Riss91 member
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    edited December 2011
    We did $50 each, but they were not "boys" but young men and they happily learned the Latin mass just for our ceremony, so we wanted to thank them for that.

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We did not have a fee set by the church for altar servers. It was up to us to ask 2 kids and give them a tip. We gave each of ours $25.

    That is nice your church picks up the tab for them. I wouldn't think it is necessary to give them any additional, but you certainely could if you wanted or are able.
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    Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
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    edited December 2011
    riss, one of ours was very much a boy - he was maybe 9?  so cute...
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    Riss91Riss91 member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_tipping-altar-servers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:152f27f6-4ea1-45bf-9836-b49d6ff8c869Post:d2598cbe-0412-472e-9b48-6b4240541c6c">Re: Tipping altar servers?</a>:
    [QUOTE]riss, one of ours was very much a boy - he was maybe 9?  so cute...
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

    At our parish there are about 10-12 altar boys/servers at each mass maybe half are teenagers or older. It's really cute right after First Communion each year when the new boys join in...they're so little they can barely wield the candles they hold!

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You guys didn't get to choose your altar servers? We were able to choose ours. Of course, if we hadn't had them in mind, our priest probably would have put us in contact with some.
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    Riss91Riss91 member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_tipping-altar-servers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:152f27f6-4ea1-45bf-9836-b49d6ff8c869Post:5bd921c1-13d9-4551-89cb-177d918bd1d3">Re: Tipping altar servers?</a>:
    [QUOTE]You guys didn't get to choose your altar servers? We were able to choose ours. Of course, if we hadn't had them in mind, our priest probably would have put us in contact with some.
    Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

    I think we could have, but we didn't know any...

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    Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    i requested one who i knew always did a great job at mass...he recruited his little brother to serve with him.
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    mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    At my church, the organist usually directs the couple as to which alter servers to choose (time permitting).  She's far more familiar with who does the best job than most people who only see the servers who do that specific Mass.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    edited December 2011
    Okay, I see.

    The 2 (twin) brothers of one of the BM's who were also the kids of one of our readers were altar servers for our wedding.
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    Blueyed228Blueyed228 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We had 2 girls and gave them $25 each.  The priest told us we should give them $20 each if we were able to.
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    ellen73ellen73
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I had my nephews serve, so they got a standard gift.  However, our suggested was $20... which my brother and I thought was crazy low.  That's what both of us got in the 80s (him early, me late)!  (fyi,  another church suggested $10 for a funeral... which we also thought was crazy low).  
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    Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
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    edited December 2011
    i agree $20 is low.  my nephews have received as little as $5 for a funeral mass.  they kind of get taken advantage of, i think, becuase they are homeschooled and are always available for monday-friday funerals.  still it means my sister taking them into town (15 minute drive) and putting the day's lessons on hold.  they are happy to do it, as my nephews love serving, but $5 is piddly IMO.
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    2Bwed20112Bwed2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We had the choice to choose our own but we don't know any so our priest said he would arrange that for us and they will charge us $20 per server (they recommend 3).  We are not planning to do anything above and beyond that and I don't get the feeling that it is even expected that we would.
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    agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_tipping-altar-servers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:152f27f6-4ea1-45bf-9836-b49d6ff8c869Post:351bd858-8377-4696-b180-982b43f50d5b">Re: Tipping altar servers?</a>:
    [QUOTE]i agree $20 is low.  my nephews have received as little as $5 for a funeral mass.  they kind of get taken advantage of, i think, becuase they are homeschooled and are always available for monday-friday funerals.  still it means my sister taking them into town (15 minute drive) and putting the day's lessons on hold.  they are happy to do it, as my nephews love serving, but $5 is piddly IMO.
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

    But musicians should still play for free?
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    Riss91Riss91 member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_tipping-altar-servers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:152f27f6-4ea1-45bf-9836-b49d6ff8c869Post:d852f226-a658-4a7d-951e-efe61c0ffaad">Re: Tipping altar servers?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tipping altar servers? : But musicians should still play for free?
    Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]

    I didn't think she said that musicians should play for free - particularly for weddings and funerals where the bride/groom/family would be paying the fee themselves, and not the rest of the parishoners. Her point was that music for normal weekly mass doesn't need to cost the parish a full-time salary plus benefits - especially when in many parishes, these roles are filled by volunteers.

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