Newly Engaged! Wedding Prep Question

camaryal

So FI and I just got engaged at the end of December! I'm super excited but am already stressing out. Here is my current situation:

1) FI lives back home in CA. I'm at school in AZ until I graduate in May. The wedding is going to be back home in CA, planning for Feb 4, 2012.
2) I'm going to be starting graduate school in the Fall and currently don't know where I'm going to be (it may be back home, it may not)
3) FI and I don't want to live together before we're married, meaning there is a chance that we will be indifferent places up until the time we get married (excluding spring break and this summer when I will be in CA with FI)

Has anyone else had a situation where they weren't at the same place as their FI? When I spoke with the lady at the church she basically said that we will meet with the priest when I go home for spring break and then figure things out from there based on what the priest says. If anyone else has been through this let me know because I would like to know how everything is going to work out.

[Deleted User]

First of all, congrats on the engagment!

Yes, H and I lived apart for about 6 months before we were engaged. And then lived apart for about 2 months after the engagement. I decided to move where he had been relocated to, and it wasn't an easy decision. I was in graduate school at the time as well and have since put it on hold for a while until we move back.

It can be done, esp with all the means of communication today. I actually toured a lot of the venues (before I moved) we were considering without H and then e-mailed him photos and information. Then we discussed it over the phone. We didn't put any deposits down until we were able to see the place I really wanted together. Luckily, I moved in June and we were both able to go home in July and put the deposits down. We got married the following June (2010).

Can your FI start looking at venues and send you the info? Maybe his Mom or your Mom can go with him. And then when you go home for spring break, I would have appts set up to visit the ones he has it narrowed down to and book it at that time. Of course, prior to all this, you need to get your budget set and discuss what type of wedding you are going for. Good luck.

LouWho19

A good friend of mine was living in Florida while her fiance was stationed in Hawaii and he was deployed to Iraq for awhile and their wedding was in Boston.  Through lots of emails, calls and Skype dates, they planned an awesome wedding.  Congrats & good luck!

mbathey

I have been in your situation.  FI and I grew up together but he is in teh Army and our entire relationship has been long distance.  I live in NH and he lives in NC and we have done this for quite some time. 

To make it even more complicated...we decided to get married in Florida just to be different. (even though our families are from NH/MA).  Luckily, my mother has been a HUGE help and has done a lot of the planning with me (my parnets live in FL for part of the year).  We found a Catholic church who was willing to work with us from afar.  The biggest problem we had was doing the Pre-Cana classes, ....friends suggsted an online class (marriagepreponline.com), which is actually a very legit online class....its been a lot of work (WAY more than a weekend course) but its been easy for FI and I to complete the work together over the phone.   Luckily the priest who is marrying us was accepting of it. 

In the end, it will be tricky but its definitely doable!!! 

newlyseliski

Congratulations and welcome!!

I'm sorta in the same boat... although definitely not quite as long distance as yours!  My fiance and I have had a rather protracted relationship (4.5 yrs) due to him being in school and we've usually lived at least an hour away from each other and been able to visit with each other (if at all) once a week between his intense studying, homework and class schedule.  We also don't want to live together before we're married.

We've had to fit marriage prep (meetings with the deacon, mentor couple, NFP classes, retreat) in on long weekends or during his breaks... our 18 month engagement (engaged Christmas '09) has helped with this a lot!  It is a long time to wait, though... I'm sure we'll wonder how we managed to wait this long once we're married in a few months!!

camaryal

Thanks for making me feel better about all this. I guess as long as the church is flexible then we can make it happen. Knowing that I'm not the only person who's suffered and survived a long distance engagement makes me feel better about everything.