Need some info...engaged and want to become Catholic

brandypugh

Hi everyone. I'm engaged and FI and I are getting married in May 2013. We've recently been discussing our spirituality and want to become Catholic. I've been baptized as a Missionary Baptist. FI was confirmed as a teenager in the Catholic church but hasn't been active since then. My question is do you all think I should begin the process to become Catholic now before the wedding or wait until after? Will our marriage be recognized by the church if we wait until after? Also, this is going to be my second marriage (divorce) and FI's third (divorce). Will that be a problem? Thanks for any and all advice.

agapecarrie

So great you want to become Catholic.

First,  you need to make an appointment with your priest. You will have certain things to figure out with your previous marriages. THe Church believes (as Jesus taught)  that marriage lasts until death, and no civil divorce can undo that. You can petition for a decree of nullity-- this will investigate whether you previous marriages were valid (had all the factors needed for a valid marriage as God's law prescribes). If they are found to be invalid (null), THEN you will be free to marry, but not until then, as the church still considers you married to your first spouse. 

(There are many intricicies and details to this process including who was baptized where, and if the catholics followed form that might make the whole process quicker, but those details should be given to the priest and he will help you through the process).

If it were possible, I'd recommend becoming Catholic as soon as possible. IF you believe its the truth, and trust in her, then one shouldn't do anything to delay recieving the sacraments. 

futuremrsbruno

I became Catholic after FI and I got engaged. We called his families church and made an appointment with the nun in charge of the RCIA program. She met with us and we began our classes right away. We had to catch up because the classes had already started, but she just met with us in longer chunks of time until we were good to go.

IMHO, I think it would be a lot easier to do it before the wedding. When we get married in July, we are both fully Catholic and there are no worries about it being recognized or anything like that.

I'm not sure how the marriage thing works as far as your previous ones, I would listen to the professor on that one.

Speaking as someone who went through it, I enjoyed the experience very much. I decided to become Catholic for me, not because FI is, or because we were getting married. We had a few conversations before he proposed, and it just seemed like it would all work out better for us if we did the program at that time. FI had to finish his sacraments, so he did RCIA with me.

I hope this helps. Maybe after talking to the priest, you will have a better idea of which course of action to take. We were told that it can take a long time to get prior divorce things straightened out so you should probably get this rolling if you want to get married in the near future. That was the first question we were actually asked when we met with the nun. She wanted to make sure they had that issue being worked out well in advance of our wedding date.

professorscience

I agree that you should start the process sooner, rather than later.  My RCIA process actually helped us strengthen our relationships within the parish where we were married.  Also, in your case, you'll need to get annulments taken care of before you are married.

I'd also caution you to be prepared to push your wedding date back as you work through the annulment process.  I can't pretend to know what that feels like, but if you want to do this, you should definitely do it right.

It's so great to hear that you want to become Catholic!

egm900

I had to do RCIA, and they greatly encouraged FI to come with me to our sessions.  We also had a woman participating that had been through RCIA recently, but wanted to explore her faith more.  This might be something your FI should consider if it's been a while since he was confirmed and hasn't practiced recently.

brandypugh

Thank you all for your kind responses. I think I'm going to call the priest at our local Catholic church and make an appointment to talk to him about all of this.