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Catholic Weddings
ashieannie
member
I'm Catholic marrying a Lutheran
Hello All!
Here is the background. I'm Catholic, and both sides of my family are stout catholics as well. I have a strong faith in my religion. My Fiance is Lutherand and he also has strong faith in his religion. We are getting married at my small town catholic church. We go to each other's services during the weekend, mine Saturday his Sunday. We both say faith, not particularly our religion, is the most important thing in our lives. Here is the thing My mom today had to put her nose into it, she only does this because she cares about me I know, but still he and I can do this together and make choices together. She is all worried about me switching religions, and about our kids not being raised Catholic, in which I want them to be, just don't know how to convince him yet. We took our FOCCUS test this past Sunday, and I'm calling the priest tomorrow. Any tips or suggestions for me? I had a few tears today after I got back home from talking to my mom about this. Don't suggest that we should break up because we won't because I feel like God will be the center of our lives but with two different religions.
Ashley
Here is the background. I'm Catholic, and both sides of my family are stout catholics as well. I have a strong faith in my religion. My Fiance is Lutherand and he also has strong faith in his religion. We are getting married at my small town catholic church. We go to each other's services during the weekend, mine Saturday his Sunday. We both say faith, not particularly our religion, is the most important thing in our lives. Here is the thing My mom today had to put her nose into it, she only does this because she cares about me I know, but still he and I can do this together and make choices together. She is all worried about me switching religions, and about our kids not being raised Catholic, in which I want them to be, just don't know how to convince him yet. We took our FOCCUS test this past Sunday, and I'm calling the priest tomorrow. Any tips or suggestions for me? I had a few tears today after I got back home from talking to my mom about this. Don't suggest that we should break up because we won't because I feel like God will be the center of our lives but with two different religions.
Ashley
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm Catholic marrying a Lutheran
[QUOTE] She is all worried about me switching religions, and about our kids not being raised Catholic, in which I want them to be, just don't know how to convince him yet. Ashley
Posted by ashieannie[/QUOTE]
I am the last person you would call devout Catholic - my wedding will be nondenominational and blessed in the Greek Orthodox church - but this is an issue you can't put off discussing. If raising your children Catholic is important to you, the reasons for doing so should be easy for you to state. This shouldn't be a matter of convincing, it should be a matter of agreeing.
AKA GoodLuckBear14
[QUOTE]In fact, part of the Catholic wedding ceremony is attesting that you will do just that (even if one spouse is not Catholic). So, technically, if both of you are not okay and content with raising the children Catholic, you should not be married in the Catholic church. I know that sounds harsh, but that's the way it is.
Posted by Riss91[/QUOTE]
<div>Ditto this.</div><div>
</div><div>I think it's wonderful that you both have a great love for Christ. But I just wanted to share with you my experiences.</div><div>
</div><div>I also dated a devout Protestant before I met FI, and the most difficult part was when we had theological issues. These issues were mostly in the form of how he thinks when I pray the Rosary, the issue of interpreting Holy Scriptures through the authority of the Catholic Church and not sola scriptura, and how I worship at Mass, specifically how I believe the centerpiece of my faith and my worship to be the Eucharist and my belief in its transubstantiation.</div><div>
</div><div>If my former bf weren't a devout Protestant, I think that he could overlook these differences easily. But he believed that these beliefs were in err, even though we still loved each other. So it was cringing to him. It wasn't religion that broke us up, btw, I'm <em>not</em> telling you an anecdotal story! I even think we could've even married and be happy still. I just don't know about if we were to have kids.</div><div>
</div><div><strong>Will your FI be ok with these theological differences and be willing to raise your children Catholic?</strong> He would have to be 100% ok, otherwise, your children may, at best, be confused or lukewarm Catholics.</div>
The important thing is that you talk with your FI about your wishes and beliefs now. Among other reasons, you are supposed to promise to raise your children as Catholics if you want to get married in the church. But also it's better to have these tough decisions discussed before you move forward with the engagement.
honestly, if you want them raised catholic, you really shouldnt be bringing them to the lutheran church. they should only be attending teh catholic church, you are in this routine now....does your FI expect it to continue? i woudl think he does, since it woudl be odd to attend both churches now adn then cease doing so once you have a child.
Our children were baptized and reared Catholic. They are grown and practicing Catholics today. We attended both churches every Sunday, but were more involved socially in my husband's which is a very small congregation. My husband grew up in that congregation, and our family was loved and supported by our dear Lutheran friends. Our kids got a double-dose of Scripture, sometimes two sermons on the same topic on the same day, both Sunday School and CCD, and parents who treated each other's faith with respect.
Talk to your fiance. Talk to your priest. Make your decisions together, then explain it to your mother, calmly. She wants to know that you have worked it out and are confident with your decisions. She wants to know that she taught you well. She wants lots of other things for your future, too. Promise her you will teach your children with love and ask for help when you need it. You'll be okay.
Perhaps you are just going off of what you have been told. Happily, I'm in academia and am surrounded by some well-read experts in Canon Law, both lay folks and priests.
It may be helpful to read this, written by the Catholic chaplain at Brandeis University. It's a lovely, simple piece that shows how open and caring the Catholic Church is. There are procedural things that those considering an interfaith marriage need to do, but at the end of the day, the Church is far more welcoming and supportive that some here are saying it is.
http://www.interfaithfamily.com/life_cycle/weddings/A_Catholic_Priests_Perspective_on_Interfaith_Marriage.shtml
OR
http://tinyurl.com/29hp2hc
(if that first link is too long)
CHAPTER VI.
MIXED MARRIAGES
Can. 1124 Without express permission of the competent authority, a marriage is prohibited between two baptized persons of whom one is baptized in the Catholic Church or received into it after baptism and has not defected from it by a formal act and the other of whom is enrolled in a Church or ecclesial community not in full communion with the Catholic Church.
Can. 1125 The local ordinary can grant a permission of this kind if there is a just and reasonable cause. He is not to grant it unless the following conditions have been fulfilled:
1/ the Catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power so that all offspring are baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church;
I had been in a thread where people were telling some poor girl that she was commiting a mortal sin for marrying someone outside of her faith. I was so mad that I didn't realize that I was writing my response in the wrong tab in my browser.
Bad on me!
[QUOTE]Holy moly...I replied to the wrong thread! So sorry! I had been in a thread where people were telling some poor girl that she was commiting a mortal sin for marrying someone outside of her faith. I was so mad that I didn't realize that I was writing my response in the wrong tab in my browser. Bad on me!
Posted by JeanninePC99[/QUOTE]
Ha! No worries...I was just confused....where is there a thread saying marrying outside of your faith is a mortal sin? YIKES!