Im confused, can someone clear this up...

cryssylee90

Maybe Im getting so many different answers because it depends on the church or maybe things have changed since my grandparents and parents were married 20 or more years ago.

FI is catholic. Even though I was raised in a catholic church I am not. When I was a baby I was baptized as a methodist and the church where I was batized ended up catching fire. The only baptismal certificate I had was lost when I was very young. Because I was baptized, I could not complete my catholic education classes without that certificate.

I was raised in a catholic church even though I was never baptized, FI was also raised in a catholic church and we very much want our wedding to be in a catholic church. Were getting married out of town in Pittsburgh, PA next year and Im really not sure if we can be married in the church. My step mother is swearing to me that a church will never allow it because I am not catholic but then again my priest here in WV says that the bishop should make an allowence considering the circumstances.

Has anyone been married in a catholic church when one of you werent catholic? More specifically has anyone been married in Pittsburgh, PA?

Thanks,
Crystal

catarntina

I wonder if the church you were baptized in has an archives department?  My church closed down and we had to get my baptismal certificate from the archives.  It was a Catholic church, but still might be worth a phone call.

You should be able to get married in the Catholic Church if you were baptized another Christian religion, such as methodist.  I think your FI would need to get a dispensation from the bishop.  And since you were baptized Methodist, it should still count as a sacrament.

If you can't prove you were baptized, I believe you can still get married in the Church, it just would not be a sacrament.

I'd make some phone calls to see if you can locate that baptismal record.  I would think *someone* would have it.

lmeade62

Might the regional office where the church was have a copy, or have records?

When I went through RCIA, I had been baptized Methodist also. I had no idea where I had been baptized, and my mother has been dead for some time. So I asked my dad how old I was when I was baptized, figured out where we lived at that time, then emailed every Methodist church in that area, asking! The one where I was baptized didn't have certificates, but they sent an email saying when I was baptized and by whom. This email was sufficient for me to go through RCIA.

Hope it works out!

Hope61

Being baptized but not Catholic is not a problem, just be open with the priest about it. If you consider yourself Catholic (because you were raised in the Church), you might want to look into doing RCIA next year to become fully Catholic (receive Eucharist and confirmation). If you do not consider yourself Catholic, you will have to make certain promises (eg, your children will be raised Catholic) but again, you will be allowed to marry in the Church.

Not having a baptismal certificate makes it more complicated... As PPs suggested, try to find some way to get a record that you were baptized. Have you already chosen a church in Pittsburgh? Talk to the priest who will be saying your wedding and find out what he suggests, since ultimately he is the one who has to sign off on your paperwork and send it to the diocese.

bibliophile2010

Ditto the others.

I have also heard that if you cannot prove baptism through a certificate or other means (talk to a church about the possibility of affidavits or the like), if you want to receive the other sacraments, they can also do a provisional baptism. Even though baptism is once and for all, a provisional baptism is a just-in-case baptism, and takes the form of, "if you have not been baptized, then I baptize you . . . "  If you really consider yourself Catholic, I would look talk to a knowledgable priest and see what he recommends. There is no reason a tragedy like a fire should keep you from receiving the sacraments and living a Catholic life, if that is what you desire.

GeorgiaPeachMarie

When we went through RCIA, my FI had a similar problem. He had been baptized, but the church was a primitive Baptist church and they didn't issue certificates. Period. He went to the church office and the church created an affidavit that he signed. Maybe something like that could work for you?  

mica178

H was baptized but could not get a copy of that certificate.  My church accepted a copy of his confirmation record along with a note from the pastor at his church.

Calypso1977

OP said she was raised catholic.  wouldnt that mean that she did receive first communion and confirmation even though she intially was baptised methodist?  when you convert, you dont get rebaptized, right?

If you can't prove you were baptized, I believe you can still get married in the Church, it just would not be a sacrament.

God would know whether or not she was baptized, even if humans on earth cant prove it or put their hands on a certificate.  I woudl think it would still be a sacrament.

would your mom have saved a church bulletin that might have mentioned the baptism?  would there be newspaper clippings from the week you were baptised that she might have kept?  i know my mom saved all of those items from my and my sister's birth, and our church lists all sacraments (baptism, marriage, confirmation) when they occur.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_im-confused-can-someone-clear-this-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:268312a2-421c-4198-a3e2-9f9211ed77c0Post:6b17e02b-8127-48ce-8c4b-97ba0682b02c">Re: Im confused, can someone clear this up...</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto the others. I have also heard that if you cannot prove baptism through a certificate or other means (talk to a church about the possibility of affidavits or the like), if you want to receive the other sacraments, they can also do a provisional baptism. Even though baptism is once and for all, a provisional baptism is a just-in-case baptism, and takes the form of, "if you have not been baptized, then I baptize you . . . "  If you really consider yourself Catholic, I would look talk to a knowledgable priest and see what he recommends. There is no reason a tragedy like a fire should keep you from receiving the sacraments and living a Catholic life, if that is what you desire.
Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

I think bibli has a great idea.

M was baptized at birth as she was a 27 1/2 week baby and not expected to live.
I was there when she was baptized but never thought to get a certificate of baptism. (yeah, I had a lot on my mind that day)  She had a baptism ceremony at a church when she was 6 months old.  Family, Catholic godparents, the whole deal.

When she was making her First Communion, the school asked me for the certificate which I obviously didn't have.

The priest who did the ceremony had died but the church gave me an affidavit that she had been baptized under emergency conditions.  That was enough for all of her sacraments, including her marriage.

Good luck!

mica178

Since my H doesn't have a baptism certificate, my archdiocese said that they would also accept a picture of H being baptized or note from the pastor of that church.

doctabroccoli

When we were first talking to our priest, he told us that if FI had been baptized (he is Methodist), he would allow us to have a full mass, but if he wasn't baptized that we could still have the ceremony service.  And actually, while I had to produce a copy of my baptismal certificate, the priest just took FI's word and told him not to worry about getting a copy of it. 

I guess the moral of my story is that you need to talk to the specific priest/parish that is marrying you, because some are more lenient than others!

Good luck!

GulfCoaster

When I was in RCIA, there were two people in our class who didn't have baptismal certificates -- but they had been baptized.  One guy was able to get an affidavit from his mother that he had been baptized Lutheran on such-and-such date, and that was acceptable.  The other lady was older, and anyone else who had attended her baptism was now deceased -- so the priest did a conditional baptism ("N., if you have not already been baptized, I baptize you...").  It wasn't a huge deal for either one of them.

My own baptismal "certificate" was a simple letter signed by the church secretary of the church where I was baptised...

trich101

My FI isn't baptized nor doe he have a "home" church or denomination. He was never raised in any church and his family did not get involved in a church until after he had moved out due to fighting between his parents. It was not until we started dating that he has came to church, he doesn't come often but he is coming some times, and he is very open to my faith and starting to develop his own. I know in his heart he has a strong faith in God, he just needs to be guided to share that with a church to stregnthen his relationship with God.

We are being married in my Catholic Church and just having the service, not a full mass, by choice. When I spoke to the priest that is marrying us, he said no problem that he has not been baptized. From what I understand we just have to sign some papers, and he has to openly admit and declare to the priest that he is open to my faith and will continue to allow me to live my faith with out restrictions. and then I have to declare that we will raise our children Catholic. It never seemed to be a problem that he has not been baptized.

Where in Pittsburgh are you being married? I'm being married in the Erie Diocese, Which is right next door!