Friday Catholic Weddings

Coco1988

What time is mass typically if a church allows for a Friday ceremony? Anybody have experience with attending or having one? Pros/cons would be greatly appreciated!

lalaith50

I've seen them anywhere from 4 pm, to 6:30 pm.

You know your guests and if they will take off work to come to the ceremony (or if you care). Obvious benefits to an earlier ceremony are more daylight, more time for pictures if you want to do them before dinner, if you want an earlier dinner you can do that, etc. Disadvantages are people who work "normal" working hours might not come or will be annoyed that they have to take work off.

Calypso1977

i imagine you could have the mass time pretty much any time of the day unless it conflicts with a daily mass which is usually in the morning.

however, friday weddings are generally very inconvenient for guests.  many are doing them now to try to save money, but if you look around i bet you can do a saturday lunch reception for about the same cost as a friday night dinner and folks wont have to take time off from work.  we had an 11am wedding with a lunch buffet.   we had many who lived within a two hour radius who were able to do the trip in one day thus also avoiding hotel expenses (we wrapped up at 4pm).

caitriona87

I have only been to one Friday wedding and I believe it was at 2pm though I don't remember for sure. My guess would be that some churches might be more flexible with Mass times if they just have a daily Mass scheduled since that's usually early morning. From a guest standpoint a minor con is having to take off of work unless you do late evening, and some out of towners may be less likely to be able to make it. Also you may need to factor in Friday abstinence in food choices--we still keep it and know a fair  number of other Catholics who do. The pro I hear most often is cost-related--reception venues & other vendors are often discounted from Saturday prices.

erin5286

I've never attended one, but I know the church where I'm getting married is having a Friday wedding at 5pm - I only know because I originally wanted to have our rehearsal at 5pm, but we had to move it to 7pm because of the wedding on Friday

Resa77

I had a Friday evening wedding. I chose it not at all because of saving money (though that is a nice bonus).  I chose it because I REAAAAAAAALLLY prefer evening weddings to daytime weddings.  My ceremony was at 5 PM, but I could have chosen anytime 4-7.   I would have preferred 6 or 7, but my Mom insisted that people go to bed at 9, so you can't have a 7 PM wedding lol. 

I was worried about people disliking it, but I had a ton of people tell me how much they prefer Friday weddings.  As for no-meat Fridays, it shouldn't be a problem as you should offer a vegetarian option regardless.  Anyone who doesn't eat meat on Fridays can have the vegetarian meal. 

I've been to many Friday weddings in the last year or so, and honestly, I prefer them.  I like having my whole weekend  left after the wedding. And as a guest, I REALLY dislike morning events, so I would prefer even a Wed evening wedding to a Sat morning wedding lol.  But I'm not a morning person, so there's that lol.

newlyseliski

I've been to Friday weddings held at both 6:00pm and 6:30pm (two in town and one in another state).  They were full Masses and the receptions were very close by (or in the directly connected church hall) to eliminate the gap and to make sure it didn't go super late!  It's true that they are less convenient for guests that are not in town, but people that you invite will either make an effort to attend or they won't... if it works better for you and your fiance, then go for it!

Coco1988

In response to the absatining from meat my fiance sent me this (because that would be a deal breaker for me):

http://catholicexchange.com/are-catholics-supposed-to-abstain-from-meat-every-friday/

In summary:

"First of all, if a solemn holy day happens to fall on a Friday, Catholics are not expected to follow the ordinary rules of abstinence. Engaging in penitential practices on days of celebration, like Christmas or New Year’s Day, goes against the very notion of what a “feast” day really is. Similarly, if a wedding happens to take place on a Friday, abstinence at the wedding reception would be incongruous with true celebration. This is why traditionally bishops have announced that when an important feast-day within the diocese falls on a Friday, Catholics are not required to abstain from meat on that day."

In our situation my side is not Catholic so I think many of them would skip the ceremony all together (sadly) and just come to the reception, either way it would be something I am aware could happen.

Resa: I prefer evening weddings too, I want kind of a romantic theme so that helps. Did you guys see each other before the ceremony?

Thanks again for all the great input and responses! We are at the stage where we are desperately trying to pin down a date, venue and church so all scenarios are being considered.

Resa77

No, we didn't see each other.  I had a long day -- hair appts started at 10AM so we could be done by 2.  Photographer arrived at my Mom's house at 3 and we did bridal pics, plus bridesmaids, flower girls, parents, etc.  Then we went over to the church at 4.  The guys were all there, and got lots of pictures outside.

TeaForMe

We also had a Friday wedding. Mostly because we liked the date (yeah, stupid reason, I know) and maybe a little bit to save money. It worked great for us because virtually all of our guests were local except for close family who would have had to take time off anyway.  We had less than 100 people total.

We didn't have a full mass (Husband isn't Catholic) and our ceremony started at 5:30. We were sitting down to eat dinner by 7pm. By 10:30 the crowd had thinned to just the "hardcore" folks and by 11pm I told the DJ we were done. Home before midnight

I agree with Resa that I prefer Friday weddings because then you still have the whole weekend. And while I don't think many people took time off specifically to get to our wedding on time, I'd venture to guess many people don't mind taking off a little early on a Friday.

And as for the day-of timeline - I love my memory of that day - we spent the morning doing yardwork, then went out to lunch together, ran a few errands and then got to the church to get ready between noon and one. PIctures around 2 I think.

professorscience

I like the idea of a Friday wedding because (and this is going to sound silly) then your first anniversary is on a Saturday.  Thanks to Leap Year, mine's not even a Sunday -- it's a Monday.

We originally planned on a Friday wedding, but had to change because our church simply didn't allow them.

I would say the biggest thing to consider is the Friday afternoon traffic in your area.  A friend of mine got married on a Friday and her ceremony musician ended up missing the whole thing because he misjudged the traffic!

OliveOilsMom

We had a Friday ceremony and it started at 5 pm.  Our church would not allow us to start our ceremony past 5:30, but we could start our ceremony at anytime.  I enjoy Friday weddings because you still have the whole rest of the weekend.  And you don't need to get up super early to start hair/make up for the afternoon Saturday weddings.  I do understand with OOT guests, but for me, they made up such a small amount of the GL, 3 couples, that it wasn't a huge concern for me.

sarahdactyI

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_friday-catholic-weddings-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:330bb953-098d-45bc-8671-089b3dc68fd8Post:f03c5da5-9d85-43e8-9914-c4b82a868acc">Re: Friday Catholic Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]I like the idea of a Friday wedding because (and this is going to sound silly) then your first anniversary is on a Saturday. <strong> Thanks to Leap Year, mine's not even a Sunday -- it's a Monday. </strong>We originally planned on a Friday wedding, but had to change because our church simply didn't allow them. I would say the biggest thing to consider is the Friday afternoon traffic in your area.  A friend of mine got married on a Friday and her ceremony musician ended up missing the whole thing because he misjudged the traffic!
Posted by professorscience[/QUOTE]

<div>This made me pull out the 2014 calendar and check... at least our first anniversary will be on a Sunday. Yaaaay! (Also, sorry!! Maybe with a Monday anniversary you can celebrate all week until the next Friday?)</div>

sarahdactyI

And as far as Friday weddings are concerned, I have never been to one!

I'd be sad because I probably could not make a Friday wedding unless it happened to be in town (and most of our friends and family are out of town, or will be once we move to NYC). My family seems to embrace the wedding as a whole-weekend event.

professorscience

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_friday-catholic-weddings-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:330bb953-098d-45bc-8671-089b3dc68fd8Post:59629d05-64c5-40de-807d-06bc82dd21fc">Re: Friday Catholic Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Friday Catholic Weddings : This made me pull out the 2014 calendar and check... at least our first anniversary will be on a Sunday. Yaaaay! (Also, sorry!! Maybe with a Monday anniversary you can celebrate all week until the next Friday?)
Posted by sarahdactyI[/QUOTE]

<div>Haha, it's certainly not the end of the world, but thanks for the suggestion!  A week-long celebration sounds awesome!</div>

random4180

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_friday-catholic-weddings-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:330bb953-098d-45bc-8671-089b3dc68fd8Post:5a2f6112-fdea-4475-9d95-f0fdda87f05a">Re: Friday Catholic Weddings</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>i imagine you could have the mass time pretty much any time of the day unless it conflicts with a daily mass which is usually in the morning.</strong> however, friday weddings are generally very inconvenient for guests.  many are doing them now to try to save money, but if you look around i bet you can do a saturday lunch reception for about the same cost as a friday night dinner and folks wont have to take time off from work.  we had an 11am wedding with a lunch buffet.   we had many who lived within a two hour radius who were able to do the trip in one day thus also avoiding hotel expenses (we wrapped up at 4pm).
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

<div>Yup, that was the deal for us; we got married on a Wed and had our ceremony at 3:30. The church didn't even have morning mass because it was the summer so really, the whole day was available for us. That was kind of nice. We got married on a Wed mostly for the date (our fifth anniversary) and the money-saving (NYC is <em>expensive.</em>) 3:30 was really the latest we could have it because of the fact that rush "hour" pretty much goes from 4-7 and our wedding was about 50 minutes from our home. </div>