what if FI is not Catholic?

jlcst36

I am Catholic, however my boyfriend was raised Presbyterian (his father is Catholic and his mother is Presbyterian). He was baptized, however has not received any other sacraments as far as I am aware.
We are nearing engagement and he is willing to do whatever necessary for us to have a Catholic wedding, however I am not sure how this works. I don't think my FMIL would be happy if he changed his religion, but what other requirements would he need to fulfill for the priest to marry him. Can anyone fill me in? Thank you!

HandBanana

It really depends.  I know technically you aren't suppose to be able to get married in the Church/Altar area if you aren't both Catholic but it really depends on how strict your parish/priest is.  Our church actually requires that one of us be a registered parishoner. 

 If you get married in the Catholic church both of you will sign an agreement to raise your children to be Catholic.  Is he okay with that?

Talk to your priest first.

agapecarrie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_fi-not-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:3505525e-02d5-4b1d-b9fc-a945018aa00ePost:e84ea438-8390-4bb0-b2dd-19914b57e775">Re: what if FI is not Catholic?</a>:
[QUOTE]It really depends.  I know technically you aren't suppose to be able to get married in the Church/Altar area if you aren't both Catholic but it really depends on how strict your parish/priest is.  Our church actually requires that one of us be a registered parishoner.   If you get married in the Catholic church both of you will sign an agreement to raise your children to be Catholic.  Is he okay with that? Talk to your priest first.
Posted by HandBanana[/QUOTE]

This is not accurate.

A Catholic can marry a non-Catholic, they do not need to convert.  A Catholic marrying a baptized non-Catholic (meaning Baptized in a protestant church-- this is an important detail) will have to get a dispensation from the BIshop to enter into a mixed marriage. The priest takes care of this. If he was actually baptized in the Catholic church, this could present an additional situation. Its best to discuss this with a priest as soon as possible

You will go through normal marriage prep and formation. The Catholic must agree to raising the children Catholic. The non-Catholic person will be informed of this agreement. The Non-catholic does not have to sign this agreement.

jlcst36

He is aware that I want to raise my children as Catholic and is completely fine with this, so I don't think there are any problems there. I have heard some things though that many churches require you to be parishioners for 6 months or so before requesting to have your ceremony there.

agapecarrie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_fi-not-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:3505525e-02d5-4b1d-b9fc-a945018aa00ePost:384ca4bc-bae7-4058-b8eb-fd5eb36ad20c">Re: what if FI is not Catholic?</a>:
[QUOTE]He is aware that I want to raise my children as Catholic and is completely fine with this, so I don't think there are any problems there. I have heard some things though that many churches require you to be parishioners for 6 months or so before requesting to have your ceremony there.
Posted by jlcst36[/QUOTE]

Yes, this is possible depending on the church, but that doesn't have anything to do with the fi not being Catholic.


Edited to add: your fi would not have to be a member of the Catholic church, just you, as you are the Catholic, if this were the requirement of this church.

jlcst36

Thank you!

HandBanana

I was referencing that interfaith Catholic christian marriages at one time only occurred in the rectory of the church.

The requirement to be a parishoner is not standard.  Talking to the priest is the best way to start.  Our church requires one of us to be a registered parishoner with even a difference in cost between contributing parishoner and non-contributing parishoner.  It is mostly because the church is a beautiful historic landmark.

[Deleted User]

Ditto agape.

katetw

Yes, you may have to pay a fee if you personally aren't a parishioner, but as long as one of you is Catholic (and the other, in this case your fiance, agrees to not prevent you from raising any kids Catholic), you are allowed to get married in a Catholic church.

lalaith50

I'm not clear on if you are or aren't a member at a parish, and if you have or haven't been regularly attending.

Yes, many churches require a waiting period to be a parishioner, so think of it from their perspective (and be prepared to answer this question), "If you haven't been interested in going to or committing to this church up until now, then why are you suddenly interested in getting married in a church?"

doctabroccoli

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_fi-not-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:3505525e-02d5-4b1d-b9fc-a945018aa00ePost:2cf05345-a842-47fe-a791-2e512a1eaa28">what if FI is not Catholic?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am Catholic, however my boyfriend was raised Presbyterian (his father is Catholic and his mother is Presbyterian). He was baptized, however has not received any other sacraments as far as I am aware. We are nearing engagement and he is willing to do whatever necessary for us to have a Catholic wedding, however I am not sure how this works. I don't think my FMIL would be happy if he changed his religion, but what other requirements would he need to fulfill for the priest to marry him. Can anyone fill me in? Thank you!
Posted by jlcst36[/QUOTE]

As long as your boyfriend was baptized as you say he was, you can have a full mass.  We were told (as FI is Methodist) that if he hadn't been baptized for some reason, that we'd only be allowed to have the ceremony without the mass.

loislane906

My FI is Catholic and I am not (I'm Lutheran) and we are marrying in the Catholic Church in my hometown. We are having everything except for the Eucharist as recommended by my parish. I think talking to the priest is a great first step in the process. Ours is VERY laid back and is marrying us but I know that at my fiance's home church, if one party isn't Catholic, they have a Deacon marry the couple.

Calypso1977

i was always told that if you were baptized catholic, then you were a catholic even if you grew up going ot another church's religion.  so if he was baptized catholic, then the church would view you as 2 catholics.

and yes, at one time, mixed marriages were very frowned upon to the point of having the ceremony performed in the rectory or a location within the church other than the main altar.   my sisters wedding was done by a very old-school priest adn they were married at the altar in the church basement as he did not allow her wedding ot take place in the main church.  however, that's rarely done any more these days.

cms4mf

Our church is very conservative- they had no problem with me marrying my presbyterian fiance and since he is baptized it will be a sacrament for me. However, since they're assuming many from his half of the wedding won't be Catholic, they recommend not having a full mass cause that would be like "inviting someone to a dinner party and not offering them food". 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_fi-not-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:3505525e-02d5-4b1d-b9fc-a945018aa00ePost:b70708c9-f7cc-4341-b08b-fa4a71227322">Re: what if FI is not Catholic?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was referencing that interfaith Catholic christian marriages at one time only occurred in the rectory of the church. The requirement to be a parishoner is not standard.  Talking to the priest is the best way to start.  Our church requires one of us to be a registered parishoner with even a difference in cost between contributing parishoner and non-contributing parishoner.  It is mostly because the church is a beautiful historic landmark.
Posted by HandBanana[/QUOTE]

My grandparents had a mixed marriage and were married in the rectory. However, that was in 1940, long prior to Vatican II. I think it's seldom done anymore.