First Confession

sbcbus

Hi Ladies!  I was initiated into the church last Easter after completing the RCIA process.  It's important to my fiance and me to participate in the sacrament of reconciliation before our wedding on the 17th, and we plan to go to confession this weekend.  I haven't been to confession yet, so I'm both excited and a little nervous.  If anyone has words of advice, I'd greatly appreciate it!

professorscience

My husband makes a list of everything he wants to confess.  I always wish I'd thought of that.

Don't be nervous!  Really search your conscience so that you can enter your marriage in the best way possible!

OliveOilsMom

FI and I are going to confession this weekend as well!  We are getting married on the 16th!

If you think you will be nervous, your first time going, then choose the behind the curtain kneeler (assuming your church has this option).  The different priests I've had confession with have always been helpful if you stumble on the words of the confession prayer.  Also, listen to any advice the priest gives you.  The best part is, that after confession, you feel like a weight has been lifted!

caitriona87

http://www.beginningcatholic.com/catholic-examination-of-conscience.html

Here's an examination of conscience to help prepare before you go. Good luck, and don't be nervous...priests are happy that you're there, not thinking less of you because of your sins. They've heard it all.

Tami87

So I hope this is helpful and doesn't make you feel more nervous... but I always get really anxious and freak out about going to confession. I also think I cry about every time I go. FI and I have actually started going once a month even if we only have venial sins to confess to try to help me get over this irrational fear.

A lot of my issues have to do with feeling like I don't deserve to be forgiven or being embarrassed of what the priest will think of me. One time I vocalized this, and the priest told me, You're right none of us deserve to be forgiven but God is so awesome He forgives us anyway. It helps me to focus on that when I start freaking out, that God's mercy is so great and He already knows what I have done, He still loves me, and all I have to do is to be willing to come to Him, admit I screwed up, and ask for forgiveness.

Also as previous posters have mentioned, the preist has heard it all before, and they really do not remember what people said to them in confession. Everytime the priest has been so happy that I was there and I have never received a penance that I thought was too difficult to complete. I agree that it also always feels like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders when I'm done. I really don't know why I get myself so worked up about it, because I've never had a bad experience and always feel so much better afterward.

Other things that help me is to spend time thinking about what I am going to confess before I go to the church. Sometimes I also pray for the courage to admit my sins outloud to the priest.  Also if there is a sin that I find particularly hard to confess or I am particularly embarassed about I make sure to say it first to get it out of the way. I also always end with, "please forgive me for these and for all the sins of my past life". I think I was taught this when I did first reconciliation. It's a good cue to the priest that you are done and covers anything you may have forgotten to mention.

Sorry I wrote a book. Hopefully this helps other people who are like me and get all anxious for no good reason.

monkeysip

Just make sure you're completely honest with the priest about everything.  It does help to make a list if it's been a long time.

I was confirmed two years ago (but I had to go to confession once before being confirmed because I was already baptized), and so I've been to confession dozens of times, but I still get nervous!  

I always just remember how amazing I feel when I leave.  Even if you have the worst stuff to confess, you just feel so clean and weightless when leaving.  You just gotta let it all out, and accept that God's mercy is limitless!  And the priest is just an instrument for God--he isn't there to judge you, just to help you!

sbcbus

Thanks so much for your advice, ladies.  I think making a list will definitely help -- help me reflect before hand, and to get through it!

agapecarrie

Just want to say that the more you go, the easier it is. I encourage you to not wait a whole year before you go again.

debbiem56

I had not gone to confession for many years, but felt the need to go before our wedding.  I did the behind the screen and the church had the Act of Contrition posted to help me through it.  I just went through the commandments one by one and confessed how I had not followed them.  I felt so good afterwards.  And I didn't get an extra long penance

Calypso1977

others gave good advice.

It's important to my fiance and me to participate in the sacrament of reconciliation before our wedding on the 17th, and we plan to go to confession this weekend.

my only comment is on this.  it should be important for you to participate in reconciliation/confession ALL the time, not just for your wedding.  you are actually required to confess a minimum of once per year, and once during the lenten season.  but confessing once a year is really not enough IMO.

it is easier the more you go, but it also helps you to avoid sin because the more you confess, the more it makes you aware of sins.  you are less liekly to sin if you say, "gee i just went to confession for that, do i really want to do that again?".  it of course gives you graces to go as well.  why wouldnt one want to receive a sacrament as often as possible?

sbcbus

So we went together yesterday afternoon and I really appreciate everyone's advice beforehand.  I reviewed some readings I had from RCIA and various examinations of conscience.  Making a list definitely helped, as I did get emotional.
Our priest's advice was great, and has definitely stuck with me.  This was such a powerful experience to have, and one I think I've been looking for.  As a newer Catholic, my faith is definitely a journey and process of continuing conversion.  Calypso, I didn't mean to imply that this importance of Reconciliation was just due to the timing of my wedding.  It's something I've been working towards since my baptism last April, as I struggle to continue to prioritize my faith.  I love what you shared about the benefits of making confession a regular practice.  I'm sure that just like making prayer a regular part of my life, this will help me grow closer to God in so many ways.
Thank you ladies!

Soon2bMrsGski

I was initiated into the Church last April. I was uper nervous about going to my first confession. Our Church prefers our first time to be face-to-face and even thought I was nervous, I just went ahead and did it this way. I believe we could have gone and done it annonymously but I just figured I would try it the other way first. I was super nervous but the priest guided me through it and they truely try to help you in bettering yourself and my priest would talk to me alittle bit about each sin I told him in ways I could help prevent it etc.It's normal to be nervous, but just don't over think it. I think you are going to be just fine and afterwards you will feel really great. goodluck!

Louisa1000

I'm so glad you had a good experience with confession! I didn't prepare very well for my first confession (also joined the church last easter) and was expecting something altogether more frightening than it actually was, and well, didn't make a very good confession, resulting in a pretty bad experience. Thankfully I gave it a second try because now I can attest to how awesome it is. It is such a high walking out of there--it felt just like my baptism. Ooh, I want to go right now!

Iggy85

Just let him know that it's your first confession and he'll walk you through it.