Ceremony Planning

astanos

I am getting married in about a year but have not met with my priest yet.  When I told him I was engaged and asked if the Church was available he asked when I graduate from college (December) and said "Call me in August or September and we'll talk about it".  My chuch is pretty "relaxed" compared to most; our priest has 3 parishes that are 15 miles apart so he has mass at one at 7:45am, my church at 9 and then his home parish at 10:30 so masses are really short and we do not sing any alleluias or anything like that.

While reading through some of these posts it sounds like there is a lot of ceremony planning that takes a lot of time.  I also find it interesting the different "rules" between churches.  For example, at our parish a United Candle is REQUIRED.  So my question is, is there some planning that I need to be thinking about now?  Or if I meet with my priest in August/September is that enough time??

bellashauntee

Each church is different, I am surprised that a unity candle is required since that is not traditionally part of the Catholic mass. The outline of each ceremony is the same. You chose the readings, the responsorial psalm, the alleluia, and some of the music. There's not a whole lot of planning outside of those variables. I'm getting married in November and I met with my priest last Thanksgiving  just to set the date. We really didn't start any of the meetings or preparation until The day before lent started. Most parishes require nine months of preparation before the ceremony. The best thing you can do is just talk to your priest and ask a lot of questions.

Calypso1977

we were engaged in july, married in february.  7 months.  it was plenty of time.  we didnt have our first meeting until september. 

ellen73

Any bulletin I have ever read says to contact them at least 6 months before, so you should totally be fine.  We met with a priest 6 months to the day (we were engaged for about a month, decided to get married sooner rather than later, and had to meet with a priest the week we decided on a date!)

ring_pop

I bet that your priest wants to get through this year's wedding season before starting to plan next year's. Meeting with him in August/September should give you plenty of time.

We got engaged in August, met with the priest in September and booked our date, and got married the following August. We started marriage prep in January and only started thinking about the details of the wedding in the spring. The main reason we met with him right away was to book the date so that we could go ahead and book some of our other major vendors.

There is a lot to a Catholic wedding, but fortunately it's all very formulaic. The Liturgy of the Word and the mass are both very similar to regular Sunday masses. The Rite of Marriage has several components that you will get to customize, but in most cases you'll have a choice between 2 or 3 options for these components. Your priest will probably give you the Together for Life book or a similar guide that will spell it all out. You'll have to pick the readings and music, but the book will give you suggestions for readings, and your musician will probably give you suggestions for music.

For now, brainstorm readings and music you might like, or keep your ears open at Sunday masses. If you urgently need to book the church so that you can book other vendors, let the priest know and he may be willing to meet with you earlier. Otherwise you've got plenty of time.

[Deleted User]

Ditto ring_pop. Wait awhile, you have plenty of time. I am surprised about the unity candle - we are not allowed to have one bc it is not traditionally part of the Catholic ceremony.

Do some research, write down your questions, etc. And I am sure you will learn a lot as well when you finally meet with the priest. Good luck!

Theresa626

That would make me absolutely nervous. I would want to meet now, not then.  The sooner the better. YOu can't plan anything else at all until you have a date at the church. 

JMU_Bride09

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_ceremony-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:41f86889-d03c-4c3d-bc97-46b028e84243Post:6e989c0f-28ca-4a34-837e-67f386d37404">Re: Ceremony Planning</a>:
[QUOTE]Each church is different, I am surprised that a unity candle is required since that is not traditionally part of the Catholic mass. Posted by bellashauntee[/QUOTE]

I think our parish actually will not allow the use of a unity candle tbh.