Catholic Weddings

FI needs annulment too?

So, I want to get married I am in the annulment process that I was told by my priest will only take a short time b/c I was not married within the church. How long will this
Has anybody experienced this before?

Re: FI needs annulment too?

  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Hi Shanell,

    I don't know the annulment process, sorry, but I'm sure there are some other knowledgable ladies that know all about it. 

    What I can tell you is that the Catholic Church assumes that all marriages are valid until proven otherwise.  Since you are a Catholic, and you didn't marry in the Church, you are quite clearly a candidate for annulment because Catholics are bound to marry in the Church for it to be valid.

    However, the Church recognizes all marriages between non-Catholics.  So if a muslim marries someone, it is presumed valid... it doesn't matter that he's muslim.

    Good luck with the process!

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  • mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you were Catholic at the time of your first marriage and it took place outside of the Catholic church, you will likely qualify for a Lack of Form, a short process where your prior marriage is declared invalid.

    However, non-Catholics who were married before must go through the full annulment process, and that can take months to years, depending on the circumstances of the marriage. 

    I would suggest that you meet with a priest quickly to talk about your situation and get the process rolling.
  • kap617kap617 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My fiance is going through the annulment process right now.  He was previously married (neither he nor his ex are Catholic) in a civil ceremony at City Hall and needed to go through the long annulment process.

    Each archdiocese is different, so length of time varies.  Most say it takes about a year though and you aren't supposed to plan your wedding or set a date beforehand because the annulment is not guaranteed.  This is fairly flexible though, I think some places will let you hold a date (my church is).  

    This is how the process has gone for us:

    First you have to call the tribunal to request information.  They will send a long questionnaire for your finace to fill out and send back in.  You have one month to complete this.  Then they called him in to take recorded testimony.  Then he had to provide the names of 4 witnesses and they were given long questionnaires to fill out as well and had a month to complete them.  At the same time my fiance's ex was sent information regarding the annulment, letting her know it was going on and asking if she wanted to participate.

    That's where we're at now.  Hopefully all that's left before a decision is made, but they could call my FI in for more testimony or ask him to meet with a psychologist (apparently not uncommon).

    After a decision is made by the Tribunal it goes on to another archdiocese to be ratified.

    Our process has gone pretty quickly so far... so we'll see.  It's definitely a stressful and annoying time.  But it's worth it in the end, I think.  Oh, and most places charge as well.  Ours will be about $800 when all is said and done.

    Good luck!
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  • edited December 2011
    My FI has gone through the annulment process too. He started in November of 2009 and the case is now being sent to the second diocese for the appeal. Almost done. But we aren't allowed to set a date yet officially.
  • edited December 2011
    Hopefully it won't take too long or be too stressful.  I agree with PP that you shouldn't be planning anything right now.  My brother's annulment took over 2 years.  There were kids involved, and both he and his first wife were Catholic, so I do think that can make it take a little longer. 

    Hopefully everything will be efficient and as low-stress as possible, but just in case, it's a good idea to put wedding plans on the back burner :)

     

  • edited March 2012
    Yes mica178 my priest said that it would be a Lack Of Form that I will be doing and that will go through rather quickly.
  • edited December 2011
    Kinda sad and bummed that the annulment process may take well over a year :-( Really, Really Bummed I really wanted to marry in the Church this time but we do not want to wait this long time. I still would like to do pre-martial counseling before the wedding because I feel it is needed and a chance talk about life and sancity of marriage it is vert important to me.
    I really would like my marriage blessed by the church it is very important to me.
  • lalaith50lalaith50 member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_fi-needs-annulment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:41ff79ea-d3b8-4725-bbb7-532a86583924Post:7db19730-6b44-4796-b58f-9c38ec79ba0e">Re: FI needs annulment too?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes mica178 my priest said that it would be a Lack Of Form that I will be doing and that will go through rather quickly. I do not know where my FI got married I have to ask I know he told me however I forgot. But does that even make a diiference it wouldn't be in a church he is Muslim?
    Posted by shanell411[/QUOTE]
    Keep in mind that the reason it matters is because what an annulment is saying is that a marriage never even OCCURED. It is NOT saying, "we don't want to be married anymore." That's why they don't just toss out annulments like candy, cuz when two people get married, it is assumed that they actually ARE married, because a Catholic annulment is not just a "divorce."<div>
    <div>So if a muslim married someone, unless there is a *reason* that that marriage wasn't even a valid marriage to begin with, then it is still considered valid. (I'm surprised that the priest said it would be easy and "lack of form." I thought that was used only when a Catholic gets married outside of a Catholic church?)</div></div><div>
    </div><div>And while I hope that it works out for you, and especially that you are able to marry in a Catholic Church, keep in mind (and I'm sure you already know this,) that if you do decide to get married outside of the Church, the Church won't be able to consider your marriage valid (both because it would have "lack of form" [I think] as well as it would consider your FI to still be married to someone else.)</div>
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    SHanell,

    The church recognizes all marriages...Christian or non-Christian, between a man and woman with no impediments-- and presumes they are valid. This means the church presumes your "fiance" is still validly married (a civil divorce cannot undo what God joins)...the church presumes that he is a married man until proven otherwise. The annulment process investigates the time of his marriage to see if it was valid--- this is not guaranteed.

    (In addition, Catholics are bound by canonical form in their marriages, so Catholics have the extra requirement of marrying inside the Catholic church with the correct form and matter. Non catholics are not bound by these rules, only Catholics)

    You are suggesting here that you won't wait for this process--- but will marry outside the church. You are doing the same thing that made your first marriage invalid. Your marriage "This time" wont be valid not only because its ouside the church, but because the person you are attempting to marry is still married to someone else. If you do this, you will be considered to be in a public state of adultery, and cannot receive the sacraments.

    THe church is upholding the beauty and dignity of marriage here. It takes time to investigate previous marriages to see if they are invalid. Please, please, since you say it is important to you, wait for the process to work.
  • lalaith50lalaith50 member
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    edited December 2011
    :-) and what agapecarrie said.
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_fi-needs-annulment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:41ff79ea-d3b8-4725-bbb7-532a86583924Post:ba399001-ae53-4a6b-af4c-2f39682911f5">Re: FI needs annulment too?</a>:
    [QUOTE]:-) and what agapecarrie said.
    Posted by lalaith50[/QUOTE]

    I think the "lack of form" reference was for her, not him.
  • edited December 2011
    I can't tell you how long it will take, but, as others have said, because marriage is both a Sacrament and a natural institution, non-Catholics, non-Christians can still marry. Those who believe in a God, like Muslims, can especially marry because they can recognize both the natural and spiritual aspects of marriage, though not as well as a well-catechized Catholic in a state of grace. Because a civil (government) divorce does not say anything about the natural and spiritual aspects of the first wedding/marriage, a marriage tribunal process is necessary to determine if the first marriage was valid and/or if it's been properly dissolved, spiritually.
  • edited December 2011
    It doesn't seem to have been distinguished here that a marriage involving one or two non-Christians is not a sacrament.  It is still allowed, recognized and respected by the Church, but it is not a sacrament.  I'm assuming your husband has not received Christian baptism, and therefore his previous marriage was not a sacrament.  I'm not sure what effect that will have on his annulment process.

    I have had a few friends marry mormons or Jewish people, and their marriages are not sacraments but were performed in the Catholic church by a priest.  It's perfectly licit, and respected by the Church.  It's just not a sacrament. 

    Somewhat related though not directly important info to the original post, but hopefully this will be useful at some point for everyone :)

     

  • edited December 2011
    My fiance and I both had to get annulments. Mine took a little longer because they couldn't find my ex-husband at first, but once that was done it took about 15 months altogether, until it was ratified in both instances. On the other hand, my fiance's took less than a year (which surprised us, since he had been married 25 years).

    My process was a little different than what others have described - I went to my priest, we submitted a short form, then after the case was accepted, I and my witnesses did the really long one. No one had to go in to be interviewed (that would be very difficult to do since my annulment was in a completely different state than where I live), but my sister-in-law did ask to be interviewed by phone.

    Your diocese should have something on its website describing the process and the approximate amount of time it takes. Hopefully you will have a very understanding tribunal - I could not have asked for a better group of people to work with.

    My priest allowed us to set a date after his annulment was done and mine had been declared in the first instance (first court).

    I know it seems hard to wait, and I don't know how I'd feel if we hadn't gotten our annulments, but now, planning the wedding in the Church - I just can't describe how wonderful that feels, and how excited and happy I am.

    The folks here were incredibly supportive while I was going through the process, too! You've come to the right place for support and help.

    Linda
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