"Mass job" for FI's brother

Jay+Marissa

DF has a 12 year old brother--he was originally going to be a Jr. groomsmen, but we had a bridesmaid drop out and our mothers were horrified at the thought of inequal bridal party sides.

So anyway, he's a little old to be a ring bearer, but we want to include him. Can he carry the readings book (I don't know the official term). Anything else anyone would suggest?f

[Deleted User]

I don't think so. That has to be a priest or deacon. Could he be a reader (too young?) or an usher?

mbcdefg

Tell your mothers to get over it. It would be INCREDIBLY cruel to tell this kid, "Sorry, you are no longer welcome as a groomsman because then the numbers wouldn't be even."

Demoting him from groomsman to another job would be a really crappy move, and I'm very surprised that your mother would be willing to do this to her own son. PLEASE do not listen to them, and keep him as a groomsman.

wparsons1223

If he is not too shy, He could read the prayers of the faithful.

Karen's MOH

I agree that it's weird to make him step down from being jr groomsman, plus I don't think that would have to equal the BMs anyway, kind of like you don't need an even number of flower girls/ring bearers. If you do want to find something else, though, I would suggest either usher or maybe handing out the programs. That is what we are going to have FI's cousins (8 and 14 at the time of the wedding) do. Or if you are having a full mass, he could bring up the gifts.

Calypso1977

does he know how to serve the Mass?

samurai21

I agree about the step down thing. Our bridal party is uneven because one of my best friends who's in Africa found out she was able to come home. Initially my mom was worried about it, but when I asked how bad she would feel if she got demoted for the sake of symmetry she relented.

Even young kids know when they're getting the shaft. I hated being a guest book attendant or something equally unnecessary, let alone to go from feeling really important and included to not as much. Sure, he's 12 and he may not care, but he could also get his feelings hurt. I would say unless he could do a reading or be an altar server to let it be uneven.

Theresa626

You could have him do presentation of the gifts - bringing the bread and wine up to the altar.  

Jay+Marissa

I should have clarified--he doesn't care and never really even knew he was going to be a jr. groomsmen anyway--he did ask if he was going to be the "ring leader" when we got engaged 2 years ago. I know it may seem cruel, but it is VERY safe to say he will not be hurt. He's in lalaPokeman land still and just knows he is participating in some way, shape, or form.

We may have him do presentation of the gifts.