Priest Switcheroo, How to thank first Priest

OliveOilsMom

I'll give the shortest version I can:

FI's parish closed 2 years ago and together we began to attend our new Church together, where we will marry.  But FI wanted to use the Priest at his closed parish for our ceremony.  He agreed and we began to do all prep with him.  We were trying to contact him in December for our last meeting before the wedding, but he wasn't calling us back.  I finally called the secretary of that parish and she said this priest is out indefinetly.  The pastor later called me to say that again, the priest is out indefinetly, but he forwarded our folder to the pastor at our home parish.

So we are finishing our prep with the pastor at our parish now. And he will be marrying us.  But should I send a gift to the initial priest for assisting us with the majority of our prep?  I am making a donation to our parish and giving a gift to the new priest, but I feel like the first priest did so much for us.

I also don't know when the first priest will be coming back.  The pastor when I spoke with him said it was possible he would return before our wedding, but not to count on that.  So I don't even know when I could send him a gift.  Should I just make a donation to his parish and request that the first priest be made aware of it when he returns?  Or send him a separate note stating I made a donation?  I am still sending him an invitation to the wedding, just in case he will be back to attend if he wishes.  We are also inviting the new priest to the wedding and rehearsal dinner.

Any ideas, suggestions from you ladies is welcomed!

ElisabethJoanne

A good rule of thumb for all of life is to act on our generous impulses. You feel this first priest helped you. You want to thank him in a tangible way. Do so. Don't over-think it.

I wouldn't trust the parish staff to pass a message to the absent priest. If you decide your gift will be a donation to his parish, which is fine, send him a separate note to thank him and let him know of the donation (but not the amount). His parish should have his forwarding address and be able to give it to you, or it should be forwarding his mail.

And/or you can give him a physical gift. We're doing prep with one priest, and another priest from the same parish will officiate. [The officiant is a new priest who has never done marriage prep before, so the pastor is doing our prep, but I want the newby as our officiant because I've known him forever.] We already got the officiant a book on a topic he's been studying for the past year or so. We'll probably get him something "fun," too, like a nice bottle of alcohol or a DVD set or something, as that's what he likes. I'm thinking of similar ideas for the pastor doing our prep - Well, similar in the sense that I'm still applying the "shop like it's his birthday" rule, but they're very different personalities.

Also, you can just send a sincere note of thanks.