Do we include parent's name on invitations?

shanell411

I am 30 and my FI is 39. He lives in another country but we will be having a Catholic wedding here in Michigan. His parents are divorced and can't attend. And my mom is a widow-dad died 2 yrs ago. I see alot of invitations that say the parent's name request your presence at the marriage. Do we include their names? What is standard? I just thought you did that if you were a young couple...but I didn't know. I want to be respectful however.

Calypso1977

we did not include our parents names on our invites.  we were an older couple (31 and 34) and had been out on our own for some time.  we also hosted and paid for 100% of our own wedding.

mbcdefg

We did, "Together with their parents, Bride XXX and Groom XXX request the honor of your presence" etc. etc. etc. We just did it to be simpler and to save space (because we listed our reception site and address on the same card), and we ran it by the parents beforehand.

We are paying for the majority of our wedding. My parents have graciously given us some monetary help, and FFIL (widowed) is emotionally supportive but is not in a position to give us any money. No matter what the situation, though, I would not use a wedding invitation to send a message of who is paying and who is not. I see a lot of, "Mr. and Mrs. Brides Parents request ..." on wedding invites, but I don't automatically assume that they are paying for it. I usually just figure that they're being traditional.

I would talk to the parents and see how they feel. If they would be offended not to be named, it's not worth excluding them. A compromise could be:

Bride Anne Smith
daughter of Mrs. Denise Smith (and the late Mr. Brian Smith, if you want)
and
Groom Andrew Jones
son of Ms. Nancy McDonald and Mr. Peter Jones
request the honor of your presence
xxx


or

With the love and support of their families
Bride Anne Smith
and
Groom Andrew Jones
request ...

or

Mrs. Denise Smith
Ms. Nancy McDonald
Mr. Peter Jones

request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Bride Anne Smith
and
Groom Andrew Jones
date, time, place

PressMe

We're both over 30 and are hosting are own wedding.  We didn't include our parent's names.

Theresa626

YOu only include the parent's names if the parents are paying for the wedding. 

shanell411

I really like the "Bride Anne Smith
daughter of Mrs. Denise Smith (and the late Mr. Brian Smith, if you want)
and
Groom Andrew Jones
son of Ms. Nancy McDonald and Mr. Peter Jones
request the honor of your presence"
That's mentioning of parents but not as if they were hosting the wedding.

Calypso1977

shan, many do that now.

traditionally, you never put the grooms' parents names on the invite.  ever.  that was always reserved for announcements only.  but, that dates back to wehn brides parents always paid for the wedding, too, and that has changed now as well.

as someone else said i think its not as much who's paying as who is hosting.  we did the inviting - the invites came from us, RSVP's were returned to us, it just didnt seem to make sense to have my mom or H's parents on there since they didnt really do anything (not because they didnt offer, we just didnt feel it appropriate).

Riss91

I think nowadays, anything goes. We paid for most of the wedding ourselves, with my parents helping a little bit. We decided to put "Together with Their Families" at the top. I think it's unnecessary to name them unless you feel like it will cause a problem. If it will make them happy - just do it to avoid hurting feelings. These days, I never assume that a parent's name appearing on an invite means they are paying for it. It's just not that common anymore.

skyblonde

My FI is 35 and I'm 26 and we're paying for our own wedding.  It's also my FI's second wedding.  We're writing "together with their parents Mr. and Mrs. Etc." because it looked better on the invitations, but we considered "together with their families/parents".  We both feel really strongly though that this marriage isn't just about us, it's about joining two families-especially since FI has three little kids.

mswood1977

My FH and I are paying for our own wedding and did not include our parent's names on the invitations.  We did however use "Together with their families" before our names.