maid/matron of honor

annie42207

ok...so this is my first post but.....i have a huge dilema my sister who got married first had me as her maid of honor i had the expense account and time to do it all.... however she does not and is royaly upset that i have asked my best friend to be the maid of honor in my wedding how do i deal with this without the scene she has already put up...ie...i'm ur sister...you were my maid of honor....in edition to calling me every name in the book and not to mention she thinks she has time and wants all the "spotlight" which i might mention is killing me....this is about me not 'her' i suppose i'm just super super frustrated!!!!!

AmyLa90679

Why not have her be Matron of Honor?

writergirl28

     You could always ask her to be Matron of Honor. However, if she's being this way now (name calling, Really?!), how do you think she will be after she's in your wedding party? I think she'll still try to make it all about her (if I'm reading your post correctly) plus I think she'll still be bitter about being asked only after she threw a fit about it.
      If you truly want her in your wedding party, I would sit her down and explain to her that this is your day and she needs to stop the tantrums! Sounds like she needs to Grow UP!

xxtreemchik2

I have to agree with writergirl28 if she is acting like this now I can only imagine how she will be when she gets her way. It is however acceptable to have both a maid of honor and a matron as well. If you do decide to make her a part of your party I would recommend having a heart to heart to explain to her; why you hadn't and explain that if she still wants the position she needs to understand that her time has past, and it is now your time to shine... she owes you that as a sibling. 

FutureMrsJ2010

I agree with everyone that it is completely acceptable to have both a Maid and Matron of Honor.  A friend of mine had both in her wedding party.  However, to be honest, I actually do understand why she is so upset.  From your post, it seems as though the only reasons she isn't your MOH is b/c she doesn't have the money or the time.  In my opinion, that isn't a reason to choose someone else to be your MOH.  (For me, my sister was my obvious choice as my matron of honor b/c of our relationship and the same for the rest of my fiance and I's wedding party).  I can also understand her reaction to you (although somewhat out of line) because she is obviously hurt.  Some people show anger when they are hurt when all they really want to do is cry. She may also be upset if you haven't asked her at all to be a part of the wedding party.  I can also understand if you chose someone else to be MOH because you aren't very close to your sister but you didn't mention that as a deciding factor.  In the end, however, it is your decision who you choose to stand beside you on your wedding day.   

BrassyClarinet

My Maid of Honor is my 17 year old sister.  Obviously she doesn't have time OR money.  What exactly is it that the maid of honor has to do all on her own anyway?  My b-party was planned by all of my of age friends, with everyone chipping in for the cost.   What does the Maid of Honor specifically have to pay for?!

annie42207

well when she got married i went in 50/50 with my mother to pay for her bridal shower and i fronted all the money for her bachelorette party not to mention various other costs.  even if she was part of my wedding i would probably end up paying for her bridesmaid dress because she has no money she loafs off of me all the time. i think i'm more disgusted at her inital reaction she has sent me lots of mean texts and is no longer part of anything wedding i probably won't even invite her.  this is how she always acts when she doesn't get her way.  i am not giving in to her i shouldn't have to she had her wedding and her time to shine she just wants attention