donations

unplainjane

i just met with my priest and he said there isn't a fee for getting married at his church they just accept donations. so of course we'll give a donation to the church but should we also give a tip for his services? i wasn't sure. as well i know it differs by location but averagely what should i give?

[Deleted User]

You also tip the priest but a lot of the time they will just put in back into the church. What about a nice bottle of wine or a gift card? Of course, the gift card sort of depends on how well you know him. For example, we knew our priest really well and knew he liked to hunt and fish, so a gift card to a sporting goods store would have been perfect for him.

catarntina

We had a $75 fee, and we gave $100 donation on top of that.

The donation is the tip.  That money has to go back to the church community.  But if you want to get just the priest something, a bottle of wine or a GC to a restuarant would be nice.

agapecarrie

The church donation is not the tip.  The priest should get something directly to him, and the better term is "stipend" , not tip. A customary amount in my area is $100 to the priest if you are having a full out wedding with the flowers, reception, dress, etc. If you are having a no frills wedding in a regularly scheduled mass, less is acceptable.

The church fee or donation goes for the operating expenses, cleaning fee, etc. The priest get a stipend seperately. Many times this goes into a "rectory fund" that pays for basic household needs, as sometimes they don't pay for that personally.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_donations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:56652d65-d0f3-40dc-a597-54b1ac573c6dPost:c0d2b8f3-ea17-40a1-9972-8940289a5eb3">donations</a>:
[QUOTE]i just met with my priest and he said there isn't a fee for getting married at his church they just accept donations. so of course we'll give a donation to the church but should we also give a tip for his services? i wasn't sure. as well i know it differs by location but averagely what should i give?
Posted by unplainjane[/QUOTE]



There was no fee for the church and the priest refused any donation or tip.

The only requirement was that we pay the soloist/organist, use them or not.

The uncle of the bride, a deacon of the church, did the actualy marriage ceremony and the pastor said the mass with two other priests, family friends, on the alter.

The uncle of the bride asked only for a framed  photograph of the couple after he married them.   He's married all of the nieces and nephews in the family and has quite a collection of photos.

Calypso1977

our priest fee was $100 and the church fee was $100.  we gave the priest another $100 on top of that, and we gave each altar boy $40 (there were 2). 

we also gave our priest a framed photo afterwards, but the one we gave him was of our backs as the picture was of him doing our vows.  we thought he'd like that. 

wifeandmommy0609

Our church fee is $350.  we have planned on give the father a tip but I kind of like the idea of a 'gift" as a tip instead.

I was wondering is it ok to give it to him at the rehearsal? or should it be done after the wedding?

agapecarrie

Priests should at least get some $. It is an offering for the mass said. It is not a tip.

Calypso1977

wife, we gave the priest all envelopes at the rehearsal, as well as the marriage license.

CoCo'sMommy

Im curious about this also. Our chruch fee is $500 and it is $300 for the soloist/organist. Also we are not having a full mass since my fiance is not catholic. My officient is a deacon. Im not sure about how much to tip him since the church itself is quite costly.

mica178

The breakdown of our church fees (so far as I remember) was: $150 for the priest counseling, $150 for the organist, $350 for the church space, and $200 for the use of the parish hall.

We gave gift cards to the priest and the organist on top of their fees as thank yous.  We also sent pictures to the priest.  In addition, we gave a donation to the church and to the priest's favorite pet project.  Honestly, everyone did so much for us, and also, it would have been far more expensive to rent a secular location, so we gave the "extra" in our budget to the church and to the priest's favorite orphanage.

Give what you can afford to give.  We were fortunate to be below the set budget, so we decided to share our savings with a few good causes.

chrissyann02

Wow, compared to everyone else our church fee is outrageous! Our fee was $1,000 + coordinator ($150) + a soloist & pianist ($300) + the alter servers ($50). So after all of these expenses, I do not know how much our tip/stipend should be. I like the idea of giving him a gift. Priest is a Lakers fan, so we were thinking of getting him something Lakers related.