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Adding Poem Reading to Catholic Wedding Ceremony

Grm2BeGrm2Be
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in Catholic Weddings
Hello all,

My name is Bob, my fiance and I are having a Catholic ceremony. I am a practicing Catholic, she is not. While we have agreed to have a church ceremony, she is becoming a bit dissappointed at all the 'rules' the church has in place. While the priest at my church is more accomodating and 'liberal' than most, there are still limits on what we can have.

My fiance found a poem that she LOVEs that pertains to marriage which she wanted to have read in lieu of a bible reading. I understand this is not possible, however, has Anyone out there added something like this to their Catholic ceremony? Like, after the old testament readings, but before the gosple, have a poem read, or a special tribute to a family member? Simply adding the poem to the program, or having it read at the reception is not acceptable.

Any help anyone can offer would be greatly apprecaited. I would hate to have her disappointed since I am the one who was pushing so hard to have the wedding in the church.

Thank you!
-Bob
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Re: Adding Poem Reading to Catholic Wedding Ceremony

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    meltoinemeltoine member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Congrats on getting engaged! And welcome to the boards. 

    The answer to your question really depends on your priest. Technically, no, it's not possible. That being said, some priests allow non-liturgical additions to the ceremony, others don't. You'll really have to ask him. His parish, his call. 
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    SaraAndrew2010SaraAndrew2010 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think the easiest way to include the poem would be to include it in your programs, probably on the last page.  Or you could read it at the reception, perhaps before the grace or the toasts.
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    samurai21samurai21
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just to clarify, why is adding it to the program or reception not acceptable? Not ideal I can understand, but it is something where your FI either wants it in the ceremony or not at all?

    All you can really do is ask your priest, and also be prepared for him to say no. Some priests will allow non-liturgical poems and readings depending on the topic, where they came from, etc. Example, my friend realy loved a poem and wanted it in liew of a reading. The priest said he would look into it and then said he didn't feel comfortable with it because the poet was a very open atheist.

    But, the worst he can say is no.
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    samurai21samurai21
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Also, how important is a Catholic ceremony to you? Is she agreeing to do it because of how much you want it so she wants it for you or because of pressure from your family, etc?

    I ask because thought my FI is not Catholic and would ideally prefer an outdoor ceremony, he knows how important it is to me to have a Catholic ceremony and it wasn't a dealbreaker for him. If it had been we would have tried to find some middle ground. Does your FI want to get married in the church at all?

    Also, assuming the poem is ok in nature.theme with the priest, maybe ask him if he could work it into his opening prayer/homily if he's doing one at your ceremony. I've been to weddings where the priest has a favorite poem of verse (non-liturgical) of the couple and read it and then works it in to his homily.

    Good luck!
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    Grm2BeGrm2Be
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the input so far everyone. I have asked my priest and will let you all know his reply. The poem is not controversial. Thanks again!
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    kathjack95kathjack95
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's a safe bet  that if your priest allows this poem, it can't be in lieu of or inserted between any of the Liturgy of the Word readings (OT/Psalm/NT/Gospel). Those are pretty set whether you have a ceremony or a full Mass.   My guess would be that he might allow it at the end of the ceremony before the final blessing and dismissal.  Otherwise, I'd have it read at the reception.
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    EKobrenskiEKobrenski
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it might make sense in the homily.  If you FI likes it, I assume it is reflective of your relationship, and that would make for a nice personalized homily. 

    We had a couple readings that we like that can't be read in church, so we are putting them in the program like pp said. 
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    kathjack95kathjack95
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I think it might make sense in the homily.
     
    I think the priest might not be too keen on substituting his homily with the reading of a poem.  Again, not likely to be done.
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    Grm2BeGrm2Be
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hello all,

    Thanks for everyone's help and opinion. I spoke to the Priest via email and he said it was totally fine, in fact, he was fine with tons of things include non-traditional music, bare shouldered bridesmaids, a poem reading, and more.
    I have read on here about how some priests can be real sticklers, glad to see mine is pretty open minded.

    Thanks again all,
    Bob
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