Church Issues -- Sorry Long!

Jeff and Deepthi

I don't know if anyone else is having this issues, but I'm having the hardest time getting a church!! Let me explain a little.

I'm eastern rite catholic, Malankara Catholic, we have two mission in the south one in Houston one here in Garland (Dallas), Texas. All others are up north. I live 45 mins from Garland in Arlington. So when it came to planning the wedding, which my boyfriend lives in Fort worth, it didn't make sense to go all the way to Garland to do it. Plus the church only holds 150. My boyfriend is registered at the other eastern rite church and it's about the same size as mine in the same area. Needless to say we wanted to have the wedding at another church and I'm having terrible issues.

The other churches don't understand why we want it another church and even after I explain most don't know what an eastern catholic is and says I have to be a member there for a year before I can even think about it. Is anyone else having this problem? Is there something I can do? We are planning to leave our churches and join a latin rite once we are married, but I can't do it now, I'm the national youth president. What can I do??

Sidenote: I know the Bishop in the diocese is it okay to ask him to do me a favor regarding this?

Calypso1977

bel should be able to give you some guidance.  she's byzantine. 

if you know the bishop, i think its fine to ask guidance on this.

bel138

Sorry you're having trouble with this! We ran into some snags with our wedding as well between the Ruthenian and Roman churches, and we weren't granted a dispensation until the Wednesday before our wedding.

You ARE allowed to get married in a Latin rite church. You just need a dispensation. I'm not sure how much you know about the differences, but basically it's because in the Eastern rites the priest confers the sacrament upon you, whereas in the Latin rite you confer the sacrament upon eachother.

What I would suggest is having one or both of your parish priests calling the Latin church you are interested in. I'm assuming the "church ladies" are the ones you are talking to, and the ones that don't know what an Eastern Catholic is. If that's not the case, and it's actually the priest giving you this problem, I think you should go to a different church for your marriage because I wouldn't be comfortable with a priest that didn't realize there are actually 23 Catholic churches.

That being said, they can exclude you because of the "one year" rule. They would do that to a Latin Catholic as well. Perhaps with your priests calling, though, this rule could be bent. If all else fails, call the bishop.

Of course this is none of my business and feel free not to answer, but why are you changing rite?

Jeff and Deepthi

I am actually wanting to bring in some of our own bishops and priest to do the service, but yes I can barely get past the church ladies. I do understand the rule I just think it's a little silly because I am willing to join the new church and be just as active there. I really want the wedding service at least in our rite cause there are way more tradition in it then the traditional latin rite service.

I am switching because my boyfriend became latin catholic years ago. Our church is in our language and 2 hours long. For someone that's not use to that it's really hard to go there reqularly. We made a compromise of going there once a month during our "english" service, but since he doesn't know the language that well I didn't him to have to just go through the motions. Plus, it is our custom to leave our stuff (family and all) behind to follow our husband. I know old fashioned, but India hasn't really caught up with the times...lol

agapecarrie

A friend of mine's uncle was the patriarch of the syro-malankara rite until he passed several years ago. They actually got married in the cathedral at san diego, after the procession (Which was interesting because they had latin rite bishop there also), they did the marriage first, in the malankara rite, then celebrated a latin rite mass. THat was a long one.

Jeff and Deepthi

That's so awesome! We are actually doing the same thing. If we did the malankara wedding and mass it would be at least 3 hours. I would feel bad for everyone who wasn't use to it, but man I would be in heaven. My friends did it and I loved it. I had to compromise though

AriaGoose

Regarding the one year rule - you should definitely chat with the priest at the Latin church.  Although my fiance and I are both Roman Catholic, we had a terrible time (at first) convincing the pastoral staff at my parents' church to have the wedding.  They, too, were reluctant to wed non-parishoners because they said a wedding should be a community event so that your community can celebrate with you and help you as a young couple.  Once I explained that we were both military and living far from home and it would be a hardship on both families to travel over 800 miles to be at a wedding where we currently live (and we won't be there for the long run anyway!), they were FAR more understanding and have really worked with us to help plan despite the distance.  You may find the same situation if you explain what's going on to the priest and why you want to be married somewhere else...  Good luck!