Becoming a catholic!

wifeandmommy0609

Hello Ladies,

My soon to be husband is Catholic, I am a christain. I will be starting my classes in Sept to become catholic (rcia?). We have already started to take our Marriage Prep classes. We took Theology Component on Saturday the 6th. We will be going to a retreat for Life-Skills Component in May.

I was wondering if anyone can give me some advice on catholic weddings. I have never been to one. I have some research online but still confused.

Is decorating the church required? Do we have to hire someone to play at the wedding or can we use a cd?  I know i need to talk to the father about my dress ( it's strapless)

Thanks ladies any advice is welcome!

Calypso1977

Congrats on your conversion!

We did not decorate our church at all.  We inquired abotu whether we were responsible for providing hte altar flowers for the weekend masses (some churches require this), and we did not have to do that.  We used what was there, and i honestly couldnt even tell you waht they were!

Attire is the biggest thing you shoudl cehck on, strapless is often not allowed for you or your bridal party.

As for music, if we wanted a cantor or organist, we had to use (and pay for) the church's.  We opted for organ only, no singing.  I would ask about the CD.

If you plan to have mass, you'll need to have folks lined up to bring up the gifts, and you shoudl inquire about whether you need to find the altar boys or if the church will provide them.  Our church provided ours.

Lastly, you'll want to inquire about the time of your wedding.  If you prefer an evening wedding, you may have to have your ceremony really early (2pm) or really late depending on what time the Saturday night mass is.  Or you can do a morning wedding and avoid this issue entirely.

It may be helpful to attend a wedding sometime before yours to get a feel of what they are like.  You can sit in on one anytime, the ceremony part isnt invitation only.

GL!

rlb81

We are not decorating the church and we are using the church's organist. Also as was mentioned in a previous post, all Catholic churches differ on the "rules" of attire.

wifeandmommy0609

Thanks Ladies..

I have no idea what i am getting myself into.. it shoulds like a lot.. but i am sure we will work it out.

We haven't talked much to the chruch about the wedding part yet they are more worried bout the rcia classes i need to take.. So i am on here trying to get some ideas.

We plan on doing it on a saturday around 2pm ( they do have mass at 6pm).

thanks again!

Theresa626

Decorating the church is not required and in fact, many churches forbid you to put up decorations.  You often can only have the flowers you carry in your hand.  You cannot use a cd for the wedding music.  Most every catholic church except for the smallest ones has a music minister that will handle the music at your wedding.  You usually are required to use that person and to pay them a certain fee.  They will play organ for you and help you to find a cantor as well.  They will also help you to choose music for the ceremony.  If you want to do something different, you'll need to go through that person first to get permission. 

Also, find out what the donation requirements are.  A lot of churches require you to donate for a certain amount of months to get your date. 

berrytr

I'm not decorating the church either, just altar flowers for the Marian altar.  I'm also using the church cantor but it's my home parish.

kmg977

I am in RCIA currently and feel that it has been a great experience I am sure you will love it!  Catholic weddings have a few rules that are universal, but some depend on the Diocese.  My Church will let me wear a strapless dress, but the church from my fiance's hometown will not.  So I would just ask the priest how he feels about covering your shoulders.  A lot of the time you can use the musicians at the church, but sometimes you will have to pay. 

akg0053

Congrats! I'm also a convert. I was confirmed in April of 2007.

Fi and I are not decorating the church. I don't know yet about the whole shoulders being exposed issue yet.

Good luck!

wifeandmommy0609

Thanks Ladies.. you all have been a good help..

I have a big list of questions (and it's growing) to ask the church!

GulfCoaster

Congrats on RCIA!    

As to your questions, as previous posters said, it really depends on the church.  My parish didn't care about strapless provided that no one was showing cleavage, but many parishes do care.  We did not decorate the church at all, because we got married in an older church that was already gorgeous.  The only flowers we had were the bouquets.  We used the church music director as our organist -- she could have arranged cantors or musicians for us, or we could have used our own if we knew any. 

jlmarks83

QUESTION:  My FI is Catholic and I am not.  We're getting married in my home church which is Anglican.  I'm planning on converting after we get married.  My question...will the Catholic church acknowledge our marriage even though it will not have taken place in a Catholic church and wasn't presided over by a Catholic priest? 

Calypso1977

jmarks, no.  your marriage will not be recognized by the Catholic Church.
you will have to get a convalidation in order for it to be valid.  your FI will most likely have to answer some pretty tough questions as to why he was not married in teh Church to begin with.

out of curiousity, if you are planning to convert, why did you not plan a catholic wedding in the first place?