What do you make of this?

Chloeagh

I've been wanted to start charting and learn NFP, and last night this came up with my mom. I knew she wasn't a fan of NFP and I found out why.

When she was trying to get pregnant with me, she was charting her temperatures. Her temps never changed, so she thought she wasn't ovulating. When she never got her period, she took a pregnancy test, even though her temps indicated she wasn't ovulating and wasn't pregnant. Turns out she was and 9 months later I was born.

I thought her temps are just wacky and she should have been looking at cervical mucus, but then she told me that my grandma did temps and mucus and everything. First she used it to get pregnant, then to avoid. She had 4 babies while using it to avoid, and knowing my grandma, I would think she would use NFP correctly. Interestingly, it took her 10 years with no method to get pregnant the first time, then she got pregnant 10 times (and carried 8 of them to term).

So, maybe this means I might not be able to use STM and my grandma wasn't good at reading cervical mucus. But are there some people that charting is very unreliable for? Also, my family has a history of thyroid issues, so I don't know if that would make a difference.

Resa77

NFP has changed a lot over the years. Methods like Billings were just be discovered/created in the 60s, for instance. As more people use NFP, and more charts are available for data use, then the methods become even more effective. And as for your Mom not surprised it didn't work, since temp is only a secondary fertility sign and isn't really effective on it's own. I hope you won't let their experiences make you closed to NFP. I know more ppl with accidental pregnancies from the pill than from NFP.

christinamarie325

I'm still just learning how to chart and read mucus signs, and follow temps, but I am noticing a pattern and a change in my body, and think once I learn it, it will be very great! It sounds like your mother didn't follow NFP quite right, since temperatures are just a guide, not a sure sign of anything. Your grandmother may not have had a method that worked properly for her. 10 years without any method and no pregnancy, sounds a little unusual to me. What was she doing differently? Maybe she had some health issues she was not aware of.

Another perk of NFP is that you're working WITH your body---not against it. I don't understand how women can pump themselves with pills, and rings, and shots that make their body stop functioning like it's supposed to. I see nothing healthy about that!

Chloeagh

Well, my mom wasn't using NFP to avoid, she was just monitoring temps to see if there was an issue there causing her difficulty with getting pregnant. She was more telling me that I can't trust temps for myself because hers said she never ovulated or got pregnant. Also, my grandma is pretty young. She was using NFP in the 70's (my youngest uncle is 34). She had hyperthyroidism and was 18 when she got married, so my mom thinks those could have been a factor with the initial infertility (because once she started having babies, she popped out 8 in 18 years!).

I read TCOYF (and loved it), but it never mentioned stuff like anovulary temperatures being present when you are really ovulating. So I initially thought I would just do Billings or Creighton, but I'm also nervous about what happened with my grandma. She is very scientific and you said Billings was created in the 60's, and she wasn't using NFP until much later, so I find it hard to believe that she just didn't know what she was doing. I know that NFP is suppose to alert you to medical conditions and still work to show fertility even if you do have certain conditions, but I was wondering if anyone has heard of it not working for certain reasons.

The more I hear about my mom's family, the more worried I am that my body won't respond the way people would predict. And I can promise you, it's not an ignorance thing. My mom and grandma know more about the female body and fertility than anyone else I know.

agapecarrie

If by observing one has a difficult time interpreting things mainly because of constant cm, or something else not looking like what it's supposed to, this is a big clue that there can be some kind of physical issue that needs to be addressed--- not just say "oh we'll, nfp doesn't work for me" Pardon the crude analogy, but if someone has a runny nose every day, this is not normal function. It is a symptom of something, such as a cold or allergies. The same goes with charting... It is a window into the reproductive system and it gives messages.

professorscience

There are a lot of factors that can lead to issues with NFP.  I would strongly, strongly encourage you to look into some classes for Billings or Creighton (whatever you decide works best for you).  Your mom could have been using a thermometer that didn't give tenth-of-a-degree readings, or she might have had one that only measures every other degree (no joke, my regular old Wal-Mart thermometer did that, I had to buy another).  Or maybe her temps really were just super steady.  It happens a lot, which is why temperature is only a secondary sign.

But I'm certain you know all of that!  Please don't lose heart.  Creighton is supposed to be a really good method for determining any underlying medical issues and dealing with them, so if you're really worried, you might look into that!  Your body doesn't have to fit into a "norm" for you to postpone pregnancy if that is your goal, you just have to determine what your "norms" are!

Chloeagh

Thanks agape and professor! I was just really worried because I had been doing all this research and then my mom told me all this and I was talking to FI about it (and he has always been totally on board) and he got especially worried. I still plan to chart and take a Creighton class and see what my own signs are, so we'll see how it goes.

professorscience

FWIW, I had really frustrating temps and switched to Billings.  We've successfully avoided for at least six months (I say at least because we're not being careful anymore -- I still chart, we just don't want to postpone much longer).

bibliophile2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_what-do-you-make-of-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:787c6bc1-f5fb-496a-9d3e-ad85c6dc25d3Post:7280f0ae-5197-40ab-8e9e-5ed2b96f20b7">Re: What do you make of this?</a>:
[QUOTE]There are a lot of factors that can lead to issues with NFP.  I would strongly, strongly encourage you to look into some classes for Billings or Creighton (whatever you decide works best for you).  Your mom could have been using a thermometer that didn't give tenth-of-a-degree readings, or she might have had one that only measures every other degree (no joke, my regular old Wal-Mart thermometer did that, I had to buy another).  Or maybe her temps really were just super steady.  It happens a lot, which is why temperature is only a secondary sign. But I'm certain you know all of that!  Please don't lose heart.  Creighton is supposed to be a really good method for determining any underlying medical issues and dealing with them, so if you're really worried, you might look into that! <strong> Your body doesn't have to fit into a "norm" for you to postpone pregnancy if that is your goal, you just have to determine what your "norms" are!</strong>
Posted by professorscience[/QUOTE]

This! First, temps are not a particularly reliable sign and as Prof mentioned, there are 1 million reasons that your mom's temps could have been so steady. You would also have to talk to your grandma directly about her pregnancies, her use of NFP, her intentions, etc. She might have been officially TTA, but had some "To heck with it" moments that resulted in your aunts/uncles. She might have been using the rhythm method, or gotten lulled into patterns. As you mentioned, there might have been underlying health concerns. Even though modern NFP has been around since the 60s, the methods have been improving and the science and medicine behind them have been improving greatly in the last 40 years. Heck, by the time our kids are learning, who knows what things will look like!

You have no idea what NFP will look like for you until you start learning/trying/figuring it out. I would recommend getting enrolled in a class and getting started right away. Go from there. If there are actual issues to work out, work them out. If not, you're just worrying for nothing.

TeaForMe

I know that fertility / infertility is almost never hereditary so I doubt the same issues your mom or grandma faced would be the same for you (for example, both of my grandparents had fertility issues (one and two child families when my grandparents had hoped for much larger families) and my parents had 5 children. So I think that if their fertility is not an indication of yours, the their fertility signs would also not be an indicator of yours. If this makes sense.

Also, I agree that NFP has come a loooong way since even our parents used it. And temperature can often be very unreliable so don't give up hope!

lalaith50

This post made me curious- does anyone know 40 or even 20 years ago, how accurate were mercury thermometers, (especially compared to basal ones now?)

newlyseliski

I'd still go for learning NFP regardless of your mom and grandmother's previous challenges!  The Twin Cities has a fantastic network of NFP physicians (familiar with both Symptothermal and Mucus-only methods). 

I also have a family history of thryroid issues... my dad and his siblings all have thyroid problems and I had thyroid cancer when I was 17... needless to say, I don't have a thyroid anymore and have been on a steady dose of synthroid since my thyroidectomy 9 years ago which my doctor uses to keep my levels stable.  If your thryroid condition is under control, it shouldn't significantly affect your cycle.  I also have PCOS... which manifests in totally wacky and unusually long cycles that have been difficult to chart at times.

My husband and I opted for Creighton (which I highly recommend) and we've successfully avoided for our first year of marriage.  I also wasn't sure I could manage all the early-morning temperature stuff because I love sleep... so mucus-only method it was... that and I had several married friends recommend it to me, too.

I'd also have to agree with TeaforMe about hereditary fertility issues!  I have two good friends that were married and both had 9 siblings... but have been TTC since they were married 18 months ago with no success, despite both knowing all the helpful NFP stuff.

Resa77

OP, I hope I didn't come off as questioning your family's intelligence! I was just trying to say that NFP has come a long way since they were using it. For instance, it wasn't uncommon for doctors to promote temponly methods years ago, which we now know aren't really effective. My sister took CCL nfp 12 years ago, and I took it earlier this year, and even in that small amount of time the method has changed a lot! Your mom and grandma seem to be very intelligent, but that doesn't mean they had available to them the knowledge we have today : So I meant no offense to them, but rather wanted to highlight that NFP today isn't what it was 20 years ago I highly recommend Creighton, as you mentioned. It's great to have the individualized instruction if you don't have "normal" cycles. The oneonone follow ups are very helpful, because you're not spending time talking about hypothetical charts that are super straightforward; you're talking about YOUR chart, with whatever quirks you're dealing with!

MedStudent13

I wouldn't be surprised if your grandmother wasn't actually using NFP but was instead using the rhythm method unless she was on the cutting edge of the research we now take for granted.