Just peeking in and saying hello...

Ashl07

Today was rough and I'm feeling a bit confused and lost. My heart aches because my "marriage" is pending divorce and I know it's beyond being reconciled but it still hurts. Hurts because I lost something I thought would not break, and I hurt for my children who now will have potentially have a new step parent and step siblings. He is planning another marriage already I just am really grieving my losses tonight and need a few extra prayers.

Being a single mom isn't easy and my friends, who have never experienced a divorce can't understand how I am coming to terms with him getting overnight visits and visitations with the girls. I have prayed about this and although he lacked as a husband doesn't mean I get the right to hold his children from him. Does it hurt to know I can't tuck them in every night soon? Yes. It hurts more than I can explain, but I also know that I can't change it. They still deserve to know their dad.

So prayers? Please? I want to feel the comfort of God tonight because I am feeling very alone.

As for anyone who has said to PM them, I never log in on a computer, but if you PM me let me know on this post and I will check them this week.

Thanks.

meltoine

Hugs. It sounds like you are doing the best you can in a sucky situation. I'm sorry you're going through this. My prayers are with you and your little girls.

lindsaynewbride10

I hate that you're going through this, but I bet your children will thank you someday for keeping their father in their lives. So very important to have a daughter's father remain in the picture, I can't tell you all the ways. I'll say a prayer for you this morning.

professorscience

Hugs and prayers for you!  I'm sorry you are struggling so much but it WILL get better!

Calypso1977

 have prayed about this and although he lacked as a husband doesn't mean I get the right to hold his children from him.

this is the right attitude, IMO.   many people are bad spouses; does not simulaneously make them bad parents.

im sure this is very difficult and you miss your children when they are not with you; but im sure he misses them too when they are with you! 

a dear friend of mine is dealing with visitation now (he's the dad) and let me tell you, his ex-wife is doing her best to punish him for his short comings as a husband by excessively controlling how often their child sees him.  its not pleasant.  his visitation agreement allows him more time than most; however, the ex has their child convinced that she should balk at sleeping over at his house and she does and the dad trying to be caring doesnt force her to be where she doesnt want to be or is afraid to be. 

Riss91

You will all be in my prayers. My husband was raised in similar situation. It was not easy - but he is happy and well-adjusted. You are doing a great job already by trying to be fair and considerate of their father's needs and abilities. Hang in there!

Resa77

Ditto Calypso.  It's great that you are being agreeable in visitation and all that.  Just because your relationship did not work out does not mean you cannot co-parent.  Prayers!

newlyseliski

I think the other ladies covered it, but I'll be adding my prayers and hugs as well!!!  Such a painful situation, but with God's grace, you can get through it.

zantster

My dad was a sucky husband to my mom.   He was unfaithful and she divorced him.  But she always put our needs first and we needed to get to know him as our father so you are definitely doing the right thing.  Now that I am older me and my father are not very close although we all (including my brother) spent a lot of time together as kids. 

But even if we never become close again as father and daughter I am so happy that my mom made a point of making sure we spent time with him so we could decide for ourselves how involved in our lives he should be as we got older.  If I hadn't gotten to know him myself, I may have resented her and put him on a pedestal.  Ironically, I can completely understand why she could not stay married to him.  So, stay strong.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.  All will become clear to your children as they get older when God means for them to know more.