NWR: How to address a priest informally.

katetw

Weird question this morning! My fiance and I have a close friend who is marrying us - he was ordained last summer. I've known him for a few years, and my fiance has known him since they were eight years old. We've always just called him by his, well, name - Kevin (haha which is not his real name - but you know what I mean). Lately, when I call him, he'll call me back and say, "Hey, katetw, this is Father Kevin," instead of just, "Hey, katetw, it's Kevin".

So am I supposed to refer to him as Father now, even in informal situations (like inviting him over for drinks and Xbox, like we did when he was in seminary and before that)? If I ask him he will get embarrassed and tell me to call him just Kevin, even if that's incorrect.

Thanks - I know this is random!

[Deleted User]

I would just ask him what he prefers when you are in a non-formal setting. However, judging by your thread, it looks like he wants you to call him Fr. first name. And I do believe that is the proper way regardless of social setting. It requires a lot of formal schooling and training to become a priest, so he wants to be acknowledged as one.

bel138

I honestly don't know what's proper in this situation. We've always called our priest friends and relatives by their first names. Like Uncle Bob instead of Father Bob. It seems that he prefers you to call him Father, though, so I would just ask.


In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nwr-address-priest-informally?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:7df115ff-632f-4f11-b490-61741f2347c5Post:6b7adf3d-cf47-4677-81a8-a3a03bca6a46">Re: NWR: How to address a priest informally.</a>:
[QUOTE]It requires a lot of formal schooling and training to become a priest, so he wants to be acknowledged as one.
Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

I know this is a different situation and do not mean to minimize the importance of their education, but I don't ask my friends to call me Dr. Bianca. And the staff that do call me that at work, don't call me that in a social setting.

agapecarrie

One of my teens I used to be a youth minister to is now a priest, along with many seminarian friends I met along the way because y. ministry does a lot with the seminary.

I always call them Fr. .....

It's not just about the schooling and degree, its an actual ontological change in the soul-- in the very person.

I know nieces and nephews who still call their priest uncle "uncle", and I don't know of any parents or siblings that call their kids "Father"

Calypso1977

i think if he's saying "this is Father Kevin" then that means he wants you to call hm that.  otherwise, he'd say "this is Kevin".

mica178

H's uncle is a Catholic priest (well, bishop).  Everyone in the family calls him either "Tio" or just his first name, except when introducing him formally, then they use the title.

For my friends who are priests, I always use "Fr. [Name]."

lisa89760

My uncle is a priest and I call him Uncle George...but my FI calls him Fr George or just George. 

But like PP saidif he is saying Father Kevin I think he wants to be called that.

ootmother2

hmm.  I think you should let him take the lead by how he refers to himself.

My childhood parish priest would address himself as J.C. because those were his initials.  Even when he became a monsignor, he didn't change.  It was a fairly small parish and he was very much a part of our lives as well as our pastor.  People would fight to have him for Thanskgiving or Christmas dinner, having no family in the area.

When I was with my daughter in Ireland, we were touring some of the crystal shops and one of them, I think Waterford, had a picture of him on the wall holding up his chalice.  M said "Mom, that's Fr. J.C!"  The woman in the store corrected her saying, that Monsignor C! " 

oh well

He's baptised, married and did the funeral of everyone in our family and is in retirement now.

M asked him to baptise her first child, almost three years ago and he came out of retirement to do the ceremony.  He also attened my 50th birthday party last year and told stories I really wish that he would forget!

I'm rambling.  Priests are just people, like us, with a very important vocation and you should address him as he wishes  and he should address you as you wish

MrsG2B83

It really depends on the priest. If he refers to himself as Fr. Kevin, then fine. But don't lets that stop you from doing what you would normally do with him.

clearheavens

I think you'l'l get a lot of antecdotal answers.  The situation also applies for religious people who take entirely different names like "Bonaface" or "Therese Marie Rose."  They all have biological parents, siblings, childhood friends.  I'm sure you get all kinds of answers and it fits each situation.

The cue here is to take his lead.  I personally would always call him Fr. in public.  A priest is not ordained just to have special functions in the Church.  At his ordination, he's ontologically changed.  He is configured to the Person of Christ, Head and Shepherd, in a new way in his very being.  What you call him in private or at home is up to what he says.