Anything in replace of exchange of rings?

afrenchprincess

Is there anything we can do in replace of the exchange of rings? Maybe do a presentation of flowers? Or maybe lighting a unity candle instead?

ElisabethJoanne

I'm pretty sure the bride's ring is the matter of the sacrament. You simply can't get married without it.

Riss91

You can be married without the rings, I would ask your priest for suggestions as I'm not familiar with any other options in lieu of the ring exchange/blessing.

afrenchprincess

Oh ok ElisabtehJ. I don't like my engagement ring. And my  FI has to wait until he can get me another ring which he may not be able to do with the cost of the wedding.

afrenchprincess

Thanks Riss.

tmeyer621

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anything-replace-of-exchange-of-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:7e91edcf-028c-4c7b-80f8-9833cde38079Post:b101239a-cc5b-42ec-bc86-0d4a56b92c38">Re: Anything in replace of exchange of rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh ok ElisabtehJ. <strong>I don't like my engagement ring.</strong> And my  FI has to wait until he can get me another ring which he may not be able to do with the cost of the wedding.
Posted by afrenchprincess[/QUOTE]

Oh, that's so sad. Why don't you like your ring?

afrenchprincess

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anything-replace-of-exchange-of-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:7e91edcf-028c-4c7b-80f8-9833cde38079Post:ef49b3d7-fda8-4fb5-86f6-111635a5166a">Re: Anything in replace of exchange of rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anything in replace of exchange of rings? : Oh, that's so sad. Why don't you like your ring?
Posted by tmeyer621[/QUOTE]
Because it's yellow gold. Yellow gold is not what imagined as my e-ring because it is not the trend now. But other than the color it is beautiful! But I don't like the YG color :-(  it's custom made and not able to be returned.

professorscience

Um, you don't have to wear your engagement ring?  I get that if you buy a wedding band in a different color it won't match, but I don't see how not liking your engagement ring would get in the way of you exchanging wedding rings.

bibliophile2010

I would get a fairly inexpensive ring that you would be willing to wear every day or more frequently. It doesn't have to be an "engagement" ring or a "wedding" ring, but just A ring. A thin, plain silver or gold band would not be particularly costly.

Otherwise, I would talk to your priest about it, since he'll be better able to offer advice.

FWIW, wearing bands was very important to both FI and I, so they were non-negotiables for us. He, though, found a fairly inexpensive gold band with a little shopping around.

afrenchprincess

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anything-replace-of-exchange-of-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:7e91edcf-028c-4c7b-80f8-9833cde38079Post:636c8d87-0dca-4dc8-b992-20087cb137e8">Re: Anything in replace of exchange of rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would get a fairly inexpensive ring that you would be willing to wear every day or more frequently. It doesn't have to be an "engagement" ring or a "wedding" ring, but just A ring. A thin, plain silver or gold band would not be particularly costly. Otherwise, I would talk to your priest about it, since he'll be better able to offer advice. FWIW, wearing bands was very important to both FI and I, so they were non-negotiables for us. He, though, found a fairly inexpensive gold band with a little shopping around.
Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]
Ok that sounds great to just get a small band for the wedding day exchange of rings. At first  I was thinking not to get a band until I knew how it would match my my new  engagement ring. I don't want it to look akward not to exchange rings during the ceremony so I will use a band or maybe suck it up and keep the e-ring that I have.

professorscience

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anything-replace-of-exchange-of-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:7e91edcf-028c-4c7b-80f8-9833cde38079Post:5cbd0d8f-8c54-4870-92f2-a6074bdf8c14">Re: Anything in replace of exchange of rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anything in replace of exchange of rings? : Ok that sounds great to just get a small band for the wedding day exchange of rings. At first  I was thinking not to get a band until I knew how it would match my my new  engagement ring. I don't want it to look akward not to exchange rings during the ceremony so I will use a band or maybe suck it up and keep the e-ring that I have.
Posted by afrenchprincess[/QUOTE]

<div>I know lots of women who wear just their wedding band -- simple and fairly plain.  I also know people who have their wedding and engagement rings reset later on in their marriage to a whole new ring.  It's pretty neat.</div>

bibliophile2010

Glad that the suggestion helped. I agree with Prof. Sci. that many women only wear their wedding band or get things totally reset down the road. Other women end up getting something different -- for a variety of reasons -- down the road. I think you will appreciate having that blessed ring from your wedding in the end.

OT, but Prof. Sci. I love your new siggy pic. It is gorgeous!

mgg242

A jewler may also be able to "dip" your ring.  I know someone who didn't like theirs either.  The jewler took out the stones dipped it in white gold and put the stones back.  It was much cheaper than a new ring for them. 
Just an idea to check into

Riss91

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anything-replace-of-exchange-of-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:7e91edcf-028c-4c7b-80f8-9833cde38079Post:df430805-8919-44c8-9852-d301b4ef0d4c">Re: Anything in replace of exchange of rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]A jewler may also be able to "dip" your ring.  I know someone who didn't like theirs either.  The jewler took out the stones dipped it in white gold and put the stones back.  It was much cheaper than a new ring for them.  Just an idea to check into :)
Posted by mgg242[/QUOTE]

I was just going to recommend this. White gold rings are created this way, since gold in not inherently white. Take your ring to a jeweler. I wouldn't give up the blessing of rings for something so silly. The symbol is beauitful.

professorscience

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anything-replace-of-exchange-of-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:7e91edcf-028c-4c7b-80f8-9833cde38079Post:b60e4ab4-c19a-4503-beb4-f8f73adc876e">Re: Anything in replace of exchange of rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anything in replace of exchange of rings? : I was just going to recommend this. White gold rings are created this way, since gold in not inherently white. Take your ring to a jeweler. I wouldn't give up the blessing of rings for something so silly. The symbol is beauitful.
Posted by Riss91[/QUOTE]

<div>This.  The blessing of the rings was so special -- I'd hate for you to miss that.</div><div>
</div><div>@Bibli: Thank you!</div>

[Deleted User]

FH and I are using sterling silver rings during the ceremony (they were $30 each) because we want to travel to Turkey to get our "real" rings later. We got them from http://www.djjewelry.com. They'll look great for a couple of years until we can make it to Europe.

ElisabethJoanne

Well, if there are alternatives to rings, explore those alternatives.

FWIW, my engagement ring is exactly the opposite of what I more or less asked for. It's silver and white gold, an unusual antique setting, with a blue sapphire, bezel set. I asked for a classic diamond solitaire in a 6-prong setting, in yellow gold. But I still love my ring. It's an heirloom.

The setting means I'd have to have a wedding ring custom designed, or - what will actually happen - won't be able to wear my engagement ring with my wedding band, which, as others are pointing out, is just fine.

lmeade62

I love my engagement ring and my wedding ring, so that's not an issue for me, LOL.

However, my husband refuses to wear jewelry of ANY kind. But we still purchased him a wedding ring for the ceremony. He also loves me enough to wear it on Sundays and other special occasions <g />.

I would agree not to skip that part...it's beautiful...

Linda

abolger

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anything-replace-of-exchange-of-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:7e91edcf-028c-4c7b-80f8-9833cde38079Post:c95e20d4-d076-46a2-a40f-13a96cff7146">Re: Anything in replace of exchange of rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm pretty sure the bride's ring is the matter of the sacrament. You simply can't get married without it.
Posted by ElisabethJoanne[/QUOTE]

You most certainly can receive the Holy Sacrament of Marriage without a piece of expensive jewelry. The Holy Spirit does not need jewelry to work its blessings. 

On an alternate note, if you still like the idea of rings, you can exchange ones that are affordable now and have any replacement rings blessed by your priest in the years down the road (just  like if you accidentally lost your ring post-wedding, which will hopefully not happen to anyone reading...)

lalaith50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_anything-replace-of-exchange-of-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:7e91edcf-028c-4c7b-80f8-9833cde38079Post:f4513bf7-354f-4cbb-8c30-4355ea219df9">Re: Anything in replace of exchange of rings?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anything in replace of exchange of rings? : You most certainly can receive the Holy Sacrament of Marriage without a piece of expensive jewelry. The Holy Spirit does not need jewelry to work its blessings.  
Posted by abolger[/QUOTE]
First of all, nobody said it had to be expensive.<div>
<div>Secondly, while I do not know if, in the case of marriage a ring is required for the Sacrament, I *do* know that Sacraments require proper matter and form. For example, baptism *requires* water. As far as our greatest theologians know, the Holy Spirit cannot baptize someone without water. Similar with the Eucharist. You <em>need</em> bread and wine for the Sacrament of the Eucharist to be valid.</div><div>
</div><div>I do not know if you are saying "you can receive the sacament of marriage without this particular piece of jewelry" because you happen to <em>know</em> based on some other evidence or fact that it is not necessary, but you cannot use the argument, (as I have shown above) that "the Holy Spirit does not need [insert some sort of matter] to work  blessings," since, we know that matter IS required for the sacraments, we are just not sure (unless someone knows conclusively) that the rings do not constitute this matter.</div></div>

agapecarrie

The rings are not matter for the sacrament. However, it is part of the rite of marriage, so there will be expectations to exchange rings. One does not have to wear it after if they don't want to.