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Catholic Weddings

Program & Communion

Hi, we are down to the wire on printing our programs.  We're using a detailed format to help my non-catholic friends and family follow along.  My future MIL is very insistent that we include a statement in our program to ensure they know not to receive communion.  She also does not believe in second vatican, still attends mass in latin, wears a veil at mass, etc. 

While my family/friends will apprciate the order of mass in our program, they are all aware of not taking communion.  Many I've talked to think that adding a statement may be offensive and they may feel further excluded.  The priest doesn't address this at communion.  Any ideas on what to do?  Perhaps an indirect statement "Non-catholics may come forward for a blessing or remain seated during communion."  or "We respectfully request communion in the Church be limited to Catholics". 
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Re: Program &amp;amp; Communion

  • edited December 2011

    One approach is to reference the missals (see page xx in the Missal for information regarding receiving communion) in your program rather than making the statement there.

    I would also talk to your priest about it. Often, priests will make a statement regarding receving communion at special event masses (weddings, funerals) that they don't make at Sunday or daily mass, because they recognize that there are likely to be many more non-Catholics or others who are not familiar with this particular tenant of the Catholic faith.

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  • Kaye SmithKaye Smith member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I included this message in our program:

    Those who are not in communion with the Catholic Church or who are not prepared for communion, for whatever reason, are invited to come forward to receive a blessing instead of communion. To receive a blessing, please cross your arms over your chest as your approach the minister.

  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    you can do what Kaye suggested, although i personally dont think it is the couple's place to tell folks who can and cannot receive communion.  that is a up to a priest to decide, since hte responsibility of administering communion rests wtih him.

    i would speak to him about this, tell him that there will be a good number of non-catholics in attendance.  he most likely will then make a statement similar to the one Kaye suggested.  ours did and we didnt even ask him to or say anything, since both of our families are catholic, although we did have numerous friends in attendance who were not.

    also, the latin mass is still considered a valid mass.  there are a few of us on this board, myself included, who prefer to attend the latin mass over the english mass.  it doesnt mean we dont believe in vatican II, we just prefer the traditional format and may not feel comfortable with some of the changes vatican II made.  that said, i do attend the novus ordo about 50% of the time due to schedules, etc., but i still personally prefer the latin, and our nuptial mass was in latin.
  • Riss91Riss91 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_program-communion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:801761b2-72de-4e2a-be62-4e48828d036ePost:70c3cd71-eae0-484d-977f-20c053ec8a03">Re: Program & Communion</a>:
    [QUOTE]you can do what Kaye suggested, although i personally dont think it is the couple's place to tell folks who can and cannot receive communion.  that is a up to a priest to decide, since hte responsibility of administering communion rests wtih him. i would speak to him about this, tell him that there will be a good number of non-catholics in attendance.  he most likely will then make a statement similar to the one Kaye suggested.  ours did and we didnt even ask him to or say anything, since both of our families are catholic, although we did have numerous friends in attendance who were not. also, the latin mass is still considered a valid mass.  there are a few of us on this board, myself included, who prefer to attend the latin mass over the english mass.  it doesnt mean we dont believe in vatican II, we just prefer the traditional format and may not feel comfortable with some of the changes vatican II made.  that said, i do attend the novus ordo about 50% of the time due to schedules, etc., but i still personally prefer the latin, and our nuptial mass was in latin.
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

    Everything Calypso said! At our nuptial mass (in Latin), our priest made a brief statement (in a non-condescending way) that Catholics in a state of grace are welcome to receive communion and anyone else who would like to receive a blessing is welcomed up as well. He also briefly explained what was meant by "state of grace". I think it was helpful and no one felt slighted.
  • mswood1977mswood1977 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We had to have our programs approved by our priest and he made us take out the statement we had about communion (which was similar to what Kaye Smith posted above.).  Do you have to have your programs approved?  You may want to speak with your priest before having a statement printed in the program.
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree with Calpyso. Most people are familar with the rules of receiving Communion. At our wedding, the preist told everyone (without us asking him to) that everyone that was able/worthy of receving come forward and those that were not remain seated. It was something along those lines.
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    The blessings in the communion line are technically not supposed to be done. Even in the more traditional and obedient parishes, many priests do this practice, but you should definitely check with the priest before printing that.

    -At weddings and funerals, priests are supposed to say something. Lots don't.

    -I play music for weddings and funerals all the time (I am not here as a vendor, I'm not trying to advertise my services). People do NOT know the catholic rules of receiving communion. I often have to chase someone after a wedding or a funeral who has taken the blessed sacrament and put it in their pocket, or set it in the pew. We've found hosts in the parking lot. It's deplorable. It most definitely IS our place to protect the blessed sacrament from irreverant acts, even if done in ignorance. The bible is very clear about what happens when people "eat and drink unworthily". It is our place to protect those who might not know better from receiving our Lord without being in full communion with the Church. (Which is another reason why I don't understand people not wanting to have a mass...its a call to unity. The fact that people don't go to communion is a reminder to us that we need to strive for unity, and this itself can be evangelizing to people).

    -This very fact can be a method of evangelization. An explanation of what full communion in the church means, why we all desire it, the graces that come from the Eucharist, and the Lord's proposing to us-- "marrying us" if you will, and becoming one flesh with us.
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I often have to chase someone after a wedding or a funeral who has taken the blessed sacrament and put it in their pocket, or set it in the pew

    wow.  just wow.  even if it wasnt our lord, and just a symbol of his presence, why would you take the communion but not ingest it?  that just seems odd!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_program-communion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:801761b2-72de-4e2a-be62-4e48828d036ePost:70bbc990-0235-48b7-a4f5-58de905854be">Re: Program & Communion</a>:
    [QUOTE]I often have to chase someone after a wedding or a funeral who has taken the blessed sacrament and put it in their pocket, or set it in the pew wow.  just wow.  even if it wasnt our lord, and just a symbol of his presence, why would you take the communion but not ingest it?  that just seems odd!
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

    This happens at our church as well. We have several friends who are EME's and they have told us they have found the Eucharist in the drinking fountains, have people walk away without consuming it and they have to remind them "put that in your mouth". Sadly, they have also told us that a lot of them are kids/teenagers who are probably just going bc they are told to and don't want to be there. It is sad, really sad. But I do know it happens.
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  • Riss91Riss91 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Our priest has found them under the pews as well. Which is one of the reasons why our parish only does communion on the tongue.
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    wow, i am just shocked.  i had no idea this stuff happened.  as for the teenagers, why the heck arent teh parents teaching them?  sadly, they themselves probably dont even know what it is they are taking.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_program-communion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:801761b2-72de-4e2a-be62-4e48828d036ePost:6c8fc214-3f56-403c-82e2-3238522cdfd6">Re: Program & Communion</a>:
    [QUOTE]Our priest has found them under the pews as well. Which is one of the reasons why our parish only does communion on the tongue.
    Posted by Riss91[/QUOTE]

    Wow, that is really a good idea. Maybe the Church should go back to that. I know that was common practice of receiving on the tongue when my Mom and her siblings were growing up. But the church we got married in and the one we currently attend (I think) will not put it on the person's tongue.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    But the church we got married in and the one we currently attend (I think) will not put it on the person's tongue.

    they cannot refuse to do this... both tongue and hand are accepted methods for receiving commuion.  simply go up with your hands clasped in prayer and stick your tongue out.  i also always take communion from the priest.  a EM may not know what to do, particularly if it is someone younger who has never seen or taken communion on the tongue.  ive never in my life taken in it the hand...im just not comfortable doing so.
  • edited December 2011
    I am an EME and it is amazing what people do with the Blessed Sacrament. I have definitely reminded people about the need to consume the host. On Sunday, I watched a person walk to nearly the back of the church before placing the host in her mouth, sure that she was not going to consume properly. Until recently, I was almost always a minister of the Chalice, which, thankfully, does not usually have the no-consumption problem. More recently, I have taken on more lay responsibilities at the parish, and as such have served the Body more often. You see more problems there.

    Talking to priests, they have seen the Body truly desecrated by being chewed and spit out rather than consumed. That is about the saddest thing I can imagine, not just for Jesus (who is literally being spit out), for the state of the soul of the person who did so.

    Reception of communion on the tongue is entirely allowed, and I have seen it done (and distributed accordingly) many, many times in both conservative and liberal parishes. However, I know at the height of the swine flu scare, my diocese discouraged reception on the tongue to avoid germ spread, which I thought was ridiculous.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    during swine flu, our church just eliminated the chalice and touching during the sign of the peace.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_program-communion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:801761b2-72de-4e2a-be62-4e48828d036ePost:5c5fe30d-7737-4bc7-8248-1ba77eb2e6c5">Re: Program & Communion</a>:
    [QUOTE]But the church we got married in and the one we currently attend (I think) will not put it on the person's tongue. they cannot refuse to do this... both tongue and hand are accepted methods for receiving commuion.  simply go up with your hands clasped in prayer and stick your tongue out.  i also always take communion from the priest.  a EM may not know what to do, particularly if it is someone younger who has never seen or taken communion on the tongue.  ive never in my life taken in it the hand...im just not comfortable doing so.
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

    I will have to keep this in mind. I know during our wedding our priest wouldn't put it on my Mom's tongue but instead wanted her hands out and open.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_program-communion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:801761b2-72de-4e2a-be62-4e48828d036ePost:7a37cf3c-9f07-4092-afed-36ffe3ddd263">Re: Program & Communion</a>:
    [QUOTE]during swine flu, our church just eliminated the chalice and touching during the sign of the peace.
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

    Yes, last year during the swine flu season our church (it was actually throughout the entire dioceses) eliminated the chalice and the sign of peace. They brought it back right before the Easter Vigil mass.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    i would pitch a fit if a priest wouldnt give me communion on the tongue.
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