FFIL Deacon participating in the nuptial mass?

16pascoe

FI's father is a deacon in South Carolina.  FI and I are getting married in my hometown in Michigan.  (FI and I live in VA) FI always wanted his father to perform his wedding.  I wasn't so keen on the idea at first (before I started to like FFIL) but the idea and FFIL have "grown" on me and I think it would mean a lot FI and his dad.  

But FI and I just realized that since we are both Catholic and plan on having a full mass, we will need I priest for the consecration (as I understand it, that's the only thing a deacon can't do).  It would have been different if FI had chosen to marry a non-Catholic bride, thus no nuptial mass, no consecration, and FFIL could do the whole ceremony.

I know I have to look into or ask the MI priest about the legal aspect of it.  FFIL might have to get licensed in MI.  But FI and I aren't sure if it's silly and superfluous to have his dad participate in the mass as a deacon when FFIL won't be "helping" the priest very much?

FI is going to ask his dad about it and I've got a call into the priest at the church I grew up in (I don't actually know him, the priest I grew up with has retired since I moved out of MI), but he hasn't called back yet and I was just wondering if there are any additional factors I should consider?  

catarntina

I don't see a reason why your FFIL couldn't give a blessing or do some part of the Mass (maybe the Gospel reading for example) if you're priest in Michigan allows it.

It is my understanding that a priest has to be there for a Mass.  But I don't see why the Deacon can't take a normal role like Deacons usually do in Sunday Mass.  I think the Deacon can preside over the vows, and blessing of the rings, etc so as long as the priest in Michigan is cool with doing the Liturgy of the Eucharist, then I don't see the problem.

Not sure on the licensing thing though.  The priest may have to do the vows if FFIL is not allowed in Michigan.

agapecarrie

Regarding the Church/canonical side of things:

A deacon can marry you, read the Gospel, do the homily, blessing. The priest would do the normal priestly role at mass (fyi, deacons cannot give last rites or hear confessions either). There is minor liturgical papework for doing so at a different parish/diocese...just to insure the ordained are in good standing. A pastor technically has to give his permission, but except for rare circumstances, this isn't an issue.

An ordained person usually oversees your marriage prep (not necessarily teaches it, but it the main contact in making sure it gets done and all the paperwork with the diocese gets done as well if any dispensations are needed). It's usually better when a non-family member does this. There are more sensitve questions that have to be asked and answered truthfully. Your priest contact can be this person for you.

ellen73

My cousin is a deacon and he did exactly what agape said for one or two of his daughter's weddings in the past couple of years! 

jberg134

Everyone above has given great responses.  Our Mass will have two priests involved, both my family members.  We were also going to have the parish Deacon, but he is no longer able to attend due to some family obligations.  I think it would be very special to have FI's father participate in the Mass in his ordained role.

GeorgiaPeachMarie

We were married by a deacon with an Air Force Priest there to perform the consecration. It was the deacon who signed our marriage license due to Father Steve's out of diocese status (Savannah v. Military). I don't see why that couldn't work for you with the in town Priest signing the marriage license with your FFIL presiding.    

ootmother2

The Nuptial Mass was said by the pastor of the church but the bride's uncle, a deacon of the church did the marriage ceremony.

Think I got that part right