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A gloomy Monday - wedding withdrawal???

lmeade62lmeade62
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in Catholic Weddings
Hello...it's been a cloudy, gloomy, warm and windy day here in southeast Missouri. I've been home from work after having some dreadful stomach cramps...after being at DH's for the weekend (we're still living in two different places until his son finishes high school in a couple of years). He's still up there - it's deer season and with the wind, he hasn't caught his buck yet!

Probably because I miss him, I've been...ruminating...over things I "should have" done at the reception. Like having my dad and my brother make a toast. Or having a first dance. I think I didn't want to bother my dad or my brother, and my groom is so shy, I didn't think he'd want a first dance. At the time, it seemed so good to just let people relax and have a good time and not have everything be scheduled and formal...but now...

And I know it doesn't do me any good to think about these things, because I can't exactly turn the clock back and make different choices, and it was an absolutely glorious, perfect day and I shouldn't let these things interfere with my memory of it!

Perhaps it's wedding withdrawal??? Anybody else suffered from that? I wrote the last of my thank you notes today, and finally getting most of the gifts put away, so maybe that's it...

Anyway, thanks for listening...

Linda
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Re: A gloomy Monday - wedding withdrawal???

  • ElisabethJoanneElisabethJoanne member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My wedding is still a year away, but what you feel sounds like a bigger version of what I feel after every party, birthday, or holiday. After a party, I think, "Should I have served dessert sooner, or did I wait too long as it was?" "Should I have changed the subject off that encyclical, or was that good conversation?" Every Christmas it's, "Wait! Did we ever sing X carol?" "I should have put up more decorations." "I don't think my family really liked their gifts."

    So, you sound normal. I know a wedding isn't like a birthday or Christmas, but even though they're annual, each birthday and Christmas is unique, too, and there's never a guarantee those loved ones will be with us the next time around. Especially if they're young, they won't have the same personalities in a year. "You can't go home again [or back in time]"

    If you're really down and/or have some free time, maybe read the book "One Perfect Day" by Mead, about this pressure placed on you to make your wedding "perfect," and let yourself off the hook for its imperfections, and the Wedding Graduate posts on apracticalwedding.com
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  • ElisabethJoanneElisabethJoanne member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    and

    MAZEL TOV!
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  • lmeade62lmeade62
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Awwww...thank you!
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  • ring_popring_pop member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think you must be missing your DH. (that situation must suck, sorry you have to deal with it!) I had a handful of small regrets regarding the wedding, but for the most part, we were just thrilled that it was over and went off pretty well. It was so nice to be able to go out and enjoy time together without the conversation getting to wedding planning. Maybe what you need is to spend some good quality newlywed time together!
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  • lmeade62lmeade62
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ring_pop, I think you're so right...it's particularly hard now, after we got to be together nearly three solid weeks before and after the wedding. I got *so* spoiled! It isn't easy, but we're lucky too...he could be away for weeks or months, somewhere he couldn't call or write, or be shooting at something that shoots back. It's good that I miss him...it means I "lurf" him, LOL. It also gives me a ton of respect for all those military families out there...
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  • newlyseliskinewlyseliski member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_gloomy-monday-wedding-withdrawal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:8f3e58e2-58bf-4dda-949c-8cad13995be7Post:0c7c2660-1ff9-4b86-a991-77de0e8b027c">A gloomy Monday - wedding withdrawal???</a>:
    [QUOTE] I've been...ruminating...over things I "should have" done at the reception. Like having my dad and my brother make a toast. Or having a first dance. I think I didn't want to bother my dad or my brother, and my groom is so shy, I didn't think he'd want a first dance. At the time, it seemed so good to just let people relax and have a good time and not have everything be scheduled and formal...but now... And I know it doesn't do me any good to think about these things, because I can't exactly turn the clock back and make different choices, and it was an absolutely glorious, perfect day and I shouldn't let these things interfere with my memory of it! Perhaps it's wedding withdrawal??? Anybody else suffered from that? I wrote the last of my thank you notes today, and finally getting most of the gifts put away, so maybe that's it... Anyway, thanks for listening... Linda
    Posted by lmeade62[/QUOTE]

    I've done the same thing on and off since the wedding!  I think it's because I'm a perfectionist and tend to dwell on my mistakes even though no one likely noticed them :)  Although I admit it took us almost 3 months after the wedding to get through all the thank you notes!!  Nice job being on top of that one....

    It helps to have plenty of NWR distractions.  Hope the weather brightens up for you!
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  • lmeade62lmeade62
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_gloomy-monday-wedding-withdrawal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:8f3e58e2-58bf-4dda-949c-8cad13995be7Post:ae39aabe-eb6d-427d-8313-dfc3d92382e1">Re: A gloomy Monday - wedding withdrawal???</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to A gloomy Monday - wedding withdrawal??? : I've done the same thing on and off since the wedding!  I think it's because I'm a perfectionist and tend to dwell on my mistakes even though no one likely noticed them :)  Although I admit it took us almost 3 months after the wedding to get through all the thank you notes!!  Nice job being on top of that one.... It helps to have plenty of NWR distractions.  Hope the weather brightens up for you!
    Posted by newlyseliski[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>LOL, my MIL is a real stickler for etiquette, so I knew she would frown on my being too behind on them. And in a weird way, I didn't feel comfortable using the gifts until I had written the thank you notes!</div><div>
    </div><div>I think it was kind of tough because we truly were planning on our own. His mother didn't play an active role, and my mother has been gone for several years. Since it's the second marriage for both of us, and we're somewhat "non-traditional" when it comes to age (he's 53 and I'm 49), I didn't even think to look at what a typical reception looks like. My dad is 75 and not very well, and I wanted him to just enjoy himself and be our guest. It never occurred to me to ask him to make a toast, or my brother either, but it also never occurred to me that they would've wanted to. No one's said anything about being upset or disappointed, it's all just in my head.</div><div>
    </div><div>

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