Natural Family Planning

misscyndikalene

I found this really cool website called foryourmarriage.org that gives catholic couples marriage advise. I read an article on the importance of NFP and it really got to me. Right now Im on Birth Control but after I get married I feel like this is the option I want to take. Is anyone else doing this, or going to do this? What are your thoughts? I know its  doctrine but I feel like most catholics today are more accepting of contraception.

Riss91

Hey there!

Many of the ladies have been successfully using NFP for a while now :-)

It's highly recommended to help you understand your body better and proactively diagnose and  improve any health conditions you may have. Also, it can help speed up the process when you are ready to conceive!

I would suggest starting before you are married so that you have a  handle on it by the time the big day comes. It takes a few months to really feel confident with what you are doing.

Though many people in today's society (certain Catholics included) are more accepting of artificial birth control, the official stance of the Church is that it should not be used for many reasons. And really, NFP is equally (if not more) effective and usually a healthier option.

Let us know if you have any questions - wehave most methods covered on this board!

agapecarrie

Popular opinion does not make truth. I recommend reading "Good news about sex and marriage" and "Theology of the body for beginners" by Christopher West. Many many people here are using NFP

Also, hormonal birth control has potential to be abortive. birth control pills are a class 1 carcinogen.

NFP charting can show you your health and give insight into any problems.

misscyndikalene

My story is that we had a baby (unplanned) almost a year ago this tuesday and we both felt like having another wouldnt be right until we are married. Hence the B.C. We planned to marry the moment we met but then the pregnancy set us back a bit.

Now we are at the point where we want to further our relationship the right way within the church.  We both want as many babies as God will give us ,but after reading that article Imfeeling more and more that we should do it by NFP.  I asked  my FI and he definitely agreed. How do I start it/where do I get info on it?

Riss91

NFP allows for you to avoid pregnancy until you are ready - we've been using it for more than 18 months successfully!

There are two basic methods - sympto-thermal and creighton. If you have any concerns about your reproductive health, it's recommended to use creighton as it is linked to napro technology used by doctors. You can look up classes in your area through the couple-to-couple league.

If you do not have any concerns about your reproductive health/fertility, you could try the Sympto-thermal method. I would get the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility (which is not a Catholic book, but it discusses the Catholic viewpoint). Many of us that use this method are self-taught off of that book, although you can take classes which is recommended if at all possible.

misscyndikalene

Thanks! Thats really helpful.

newlyseliski

As the PPs recommended, starting early is a good plan.  My fiance and I started learning the Creighton method 9 months before the wedding since I have PCOS.  Some other posters on this board have said that coming off BC can cause some crazy cycles for a bit when charting before normalizing, so an early start would probably be good in your case.

If you're interested in learning from instructors or physicians rather than teaching yourself, this website has some good resources of local NFP centers and physicians that could assist you and your fiance in learning a method:

http://onemoresoul.com/nfp_by_state/CA

catarntina

Hi there!

DH and I also use NFP and I *love love love* it!  I was on BCP on and off for 7 years for various health reasons, but after I got off and started charting I realized that my cycles weren't really "irregular" at all.  And the other symptoms I had could be corrected with vitamins, diet, exercise.

I took a class offered by the Couple to Couple League - it was required for marriage prep.  The class was very helpful in terms of having one-on-one time with the instructors.  It also helped get DH involved.  It is taught by a couple, so the man was able to bring his own perspective about how he was involved with his wife's charts and DH could relate a little bit.

I still had some more questions after the class, so I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility, and that book is amazing!  I'd recommend doing either the class or reading the book.

DH loves NFP, too.  It's really a total self-giving of eachother when we make love, and it's kind of a turn-on when you think about it that way!  Some people frown on the abstinence part, but the anticipation for what's to come makes it worth while to me.  I think using NFP has definitely strengthened our relationship.  DH knows exactly what's going on and when.

If you have questions once you get started about your charts or whatever, people on this board are more than willing to take a 2nd look for you.

mica178

I'll put in a plug for TCOYF also.  We've been using NFP for months now, no worries or oopses yet.  I'm a physician, and I feel that NFP is a completely valid form of birth control that is as effective as other birth control if used properly.

bibliophile2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_natural-family-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:8ff22e17-4970-427a-9974-d12d555305ddPost:ee0de503-4142-44a2-a9d0-81ebd6f3fda4">Re: Natural Family Planning</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi there! DH and I also use NFP and I *love love love* it!  I was on BCP on and off for 7 years for various health reasons, but after I got off and started charting I realized that my cycles weren't really "irregular" at all.  And the other symptoms I had could be corrected with vitamins, diet, exercise. I took a class offered by the Couple to Couple League - it was required for marriage prep.  The class was very helpful in terms of having one-on-one time with the instructors.  It also helped get DH involved.  It is taught by a couple, so the man was able to bring his own perspective about how he was involved with his wife's charts and DH could relate a little bit. I still had some more questions after the class, so I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility , and that book is amazing!  <strong>I'd recommend doing either the class or reading the book.</strong> DH loves NFP, too.  It's really a total self-giving of eachother when we make love, and it's kind of a turn-on when you think about it that way!  Some people frown on the abstinence part, but the anticipation for what's to come makes it worth while to me.  I think using NFP has definitely strengthened our relationship.  DH knows exactly what's going on and when. If you have questions once you get started about your charts or whatever, people on this board are more than willing to take a 2nd look for you.
Posted by catarntina[/QUOTE]

I would recommend reading the book <em>and</em> taking a class. I think TCOYF is an amazing book and presents great scientific information. I think the class (and particularly the instructors) helps you troubleshoot any problems/situations that are more particular to your particular body/situation.

I am using the Creighton model (which is a mucous-based method), and am very happy with it so far. Whatever method you choose, I recommend starting during your engagement, so that you can use it effectively when you're married, especially since both methods encourage abstinance for at least the first month while you are learning to chart.

Calypso1977

one more plug for TCOYF.  i self taught with that book.

its very easy once you get the hang of it.  ive been charting to avoid for 2 years, and now we think we might be ready to have a kid, so i'm hoping i can get prego the first or second try, once we decide to go for it - another benefit to the method.

feel free to ask Q's here - many of us are well versed in the methods.

misscyndikalene

Thank you Ladies for all your help. Im going to get that book this weekend and start reading it. Im also going to get my papsmear soon so Ill ask my doctor for any references as well. Is the book hard to follow or is it pretty easy to understand?

catarntina

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_natural-family-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:8ff22e17-4970-427a-9974-d12d555305ddPost:8b94b2a7-4134-404a-87e9-9f81bca2af64">Re: Natural Family Planning</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you Ladies for all your help. Im going to get that book this weekend and start reading it. Im also going to get my papsmear soon so Ill ask my doctor for any references as wel<strong>l. Is the book hard to follow or is it pretty easy to understand?</strong>
Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]

I thought it was pretty easy to follow.  But I have heard complaints from some people that it "reads like a textbook."  My textbooks must have been a lot more complicated, because I didn't feel that way.  I read the entire thing cover-to-cover in about a week.  Maybe I'm just a nut. LOL  She puts a lot of humor in there, and a lot of stories about real couples, so I didn't find it textbooky at all.

The example charts were extremely helpful at giving you a visual.  She also has pictures in there too on different cervical fluids.

Calypso1977

its very easy to follow.

also, to warn you, your doctor may very well think you are crazy and that you will end up pregnant if you use NFP. sadly, teh medical community is not as informed about the basic science of a woman's body as they should be.  you might not be able to get hte guidance from them you are looking for.  dont get discouraged.

mica178

The book is very easy.  I read it in one sitting.

Hey!  We in the medical community aren't all anti-NFP!  I read TCOYF and was convinced.  If your doctor gives you a hard time, tell him/her to read TCOYF and/or fnid a new doctor.  :P

Good luck!

clearheavens

That is very good news that foryourmarriage.org was useful.  It was an effort put forth by the US Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) to help all of us lead a good and holy vocation to marriage.  I liked the info, too.

I just wanted to chime in about the suggestion that catarntina mentioned with taking a class offered by the Couples to Couples League.  It's 1 class per month for 3 months.  I started to take temperatures anyway one cycle before I took the  class so that by the first class, I could ask questions about what I was seeing on paper.   But most people go in with a blank slate.  Here is the website where you can locate a class near you:

http://www.ccli.org/

Calypso1977

haha, yes, some docs are "with it" (dr. mica is one).  but ive yet to find one IRL.

GulfCoaster

You don't have any NFP-only doctors in Boston?  I'm surprised.  I would have figured there would be more in a major metro area.  One More Soul lists a bunch of doctors in Massachusetts -- I guess none are near you?  It is very tough to find NFP-friendly doctors sometimes, but once you do they're worth their weight in gold!

Calypso1977

i believe i found one in Brookline - but Brookline is a suburn of Boston, so its a bit of a haul from outer suburbia AND he was male.  i cant have a male doctor, it grosses me out.  my current doc is in Boston and trust me, its a pain to go in once a year.  i couldnt imagine having a baby doctor downtown and having to deliver at MassGeneral or Brigham and Womens.  too many appoinments and parking is expensive.

massachusetts is VERY liberal.  i have a feeling that there are several pro-life or NFP familiar doctors that just dont want to admit it for fear of losing patients.

mica178

Boston is liberal, but there's a strong Catholic presence.  Surely some doctor there is comfortable advising in NFP?  

Calypso1977

oh, there are some - they just arent close to me.  im about 40 minutes from Boston (which can be well over an hour depending upon the day) and around here, they actually charge you to park at hospitals and parking at a drs. office downtown is about $30 or more.  its just not convenient.

my doc is supportive of my charting, so i dont need the assistance anyway.  but i would like someone who is either pro-life or at least wont question my views if/when i become pregnant.  ill have to change docs then since my doc isnt a baby doctor.

professorscience

Ladies,

Having recently accepted the idea of NFP for my marriage and just beginning to study, I must say I have a newfound appreciation for this board (and your wealth of knowledge) after sitting down to dinner with three friends who just cannot believe that FI and I will be able to control the growth of our family without artificial contraception.

Thank you so very much for your insight and your strength.

Calypso1977

professors, its frustrating indeed.

i found that the longer ive been married, it gets easier.  since, well, ive been living proof for over 2 years that it works.

hang in there.

Riss91

professors - Our friends and family aren't aware of our methods, but I know they'd be giving us the side-eye if they did. It's sad how many people just have no idea how their body functions and that it is pretty simple (once you get the hang of it) to track your cycle!

I agree that this board is wonderful for its wealth of knowledge and its support!

Calypso - I'm a similar distance outside of NYC and have the same problem. There is only 1 doctor within an hour of me, and its a male doctor - not my cup of tea. The others are at least an hour and half without traffic, and closer to 2.5 hours with traffic. I definitely think some doctors are afraid to list themselves as pro-life, but I wish they'd be more open to NFP. Luckily my doctor isn't nasty or condescending about it, though I don't think she's sold on the idea either. I'm hoping I can open her eyes to it!

Calypso1977

yeah, as i said, i'm ok with the lack of nfp doctor since i'm fortunate that i picked it up quickly and i'm nto dealing wtih any health related problems.  but i am nervous at baby time about finding someone who will not push abortion if i have complications, etc.   i also have another issue in that i'm anti-immunizations so i need to find a doctor that is supportive of that as well.  they are few and far, btu do exist.

bibliophile2010

I truly believe that this board is a beautiful witness to NFP -- that it works, that it is not "weird," etc. I love knowing that in this one little corner of the world, I won't be side-eyed for my choice.

I think it is terrible how little doctors know about NFP and how hard it is for doctors to come out as being pro-life. For the most part, they are simply not educated in it, so they don't know more than the general population about NFP. I'm sure many doctors, like many Catholics (and non-Catholics) equate NFP and the rhythm method. I've heard of women dealing with infertility being told that day 14 is best for conception.

That's why I think women need to get in touch with their own bodies -- it's the only way to empower them with the truth. Look at Calypso and Riss, who read TCOYF (which I think is great for this purpose) and are now their own medical advocates, even without going to NFP doctors. {enter extended girl-power/the Church is not anti-woman/NFP rocks rant here}

kjnh923

What if your cycle is not regular?  My cycle will go anywhere from 32-74 days apart. Will NFP work just the same? I've started learning about it, but havn't seen too many ppl using this method who are irregular like me. When I mention this to ppl (fi's mother for instance) they say I need to take hormones to get regular. Just doesn't seem natural/healthy.

thanks for any help!

bibliophile2010

NFP is designed for people who are not regular. It is about learning and monitoring the day-to-day changes in your bodies fertility. Nobody's cycles are perfectly regular -- a "regular" cycle will naturally vary by a few days each month, and it is not uncommon/bad to have an occasional cycle that is totally off, because of outside forces like stress and illness.

If your cycle is that irregular, there is most likely something else going on with your body. Other people are correct that hormonal birth control (HBC) will mask those symptoms by regulating your hormones and giving you a "regular" "period" (this is not even a true period but a withdrawl bleed). However, they will not fix the problem and you will find that when you do try to conceive, the problems will come rearing back full force.

You are right in thinking that this is neither natural nor healthy. There is increasing evidence that HBC has negative long-term side effects, outside of the moral problems that it presents. You may find that there is some hormone treatment that can help to actually solve problems that your body may have, but these will be specific and targeted to your situation/diagnosis. They are not the general catch-all that HBC has become. Plus, like I said, it doesn't actually fix your body -- it is just a band-aid.

I would recommend 1) reading TCOYF -- it really is a good book; 2) looking into Creighton-model NFP. This model is closely alighted to NaPro Technology, which will help diagnose the source of your irregular cycles and provide medical intervention that will actually treat the problem, not just mask the symptoms.

Best of luck -- please ask any questions you have. We love to help. *prayers*

mica178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_natural-family-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:8ff22e17-4970-427a-9974-d12d555305ddPost:32e8ab2d-13bf-4b45-8c2e-83975537576c">Re: Natural Family Planning</a>:
[QUOTE]What if your cycle is not regular?  My cycle will go anywhere from 32-74 days apart. Will NFP work just the same? I've started learning about it, but havn't seen too many ppl using this method who are irregular like me. When I mention this to ppl (fi's mother for instance) they say I need to take hormones to get regular. Just doesn't seem natural/healthy. thanks for any help!
Posted by kjnh923[/QUOTE]

NFP works for people with irregular cycles, but it's recommended that you chart for at least three cycles so that you get the hang of it.  The rhythm method definitely does NOT work for women with irregular cycles. 

There are women on this board who have irregular cycles who have used NFP as both birth control and as a way of figuring out why their cycles are irregular.

Hormones will help regulate your cycles, but they do not diagnose the underlying problem.  And if you do want children in the future, it's better to know why your cycles are irregular rather than artificially regulating them, right?

Calypso1977

ditto PPs.

it is still possible to ovulate with irregular cycles.  the method will help you confirm wehther you are indeed ovulating, and when.  this will also help you predict your period, since your luteal phase (the part of your cycle after you ovulate) is usually the same length.   its the pre-ovulatory phase that varies.

Riss91

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_natural-family-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:8ff22e17-4970-427a-9974-d12d555305ddPost:0a793921-2c61-4150-be06-ffd71e4f2bce">Re: Natural Family Planning</a>:
[QUOTE] {enter extended girl-power/the Church is not anti-woman/NFP rocks rant here}
Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

::haha love that ::