Ok...now what?

nanoka

We are having a Catholic wedding... My FH is Catholic. I did not go to church growing up and have not been baptized.  We are also getting married in his home town, which is 7 hours away from where we currently live. We have asked a priest from his hometown to officiate and we are meeting with a preist here for the pre-cana classes.

So any advice? What should I expect? When will the church let us pick a date?

Will I need to be baptized? I am a little uncomfortable with "converting" just so that it makes getting married easier. I feel like that is a decision I shouls make on my own.

ootmother2

The other ladies here will fill you in on the pre cana.  I'm MOB and it's been ages and ages.

Your FI will set up a meeting for both of you with the priest and he will help you go over all the details.

You absolutely do NOT have to convert although if you choose to at a later time, that would be great.  You also do not have to be baptized, that's another form for the priest to fill out and file for you

You must agree that your children wiill be raised Catholic, or that at least you will not interfer in their being raised Catholic.  You also must agree that there will be only one wedding, a Catholic one.*

*unless you live in a country that requires civil marriage first as a law

Tomorrow there will be more Catholic brides on who can give you the up to date details

GL

bibliophile2010

I would recommend checking out www.catholicweddinghelp.com. There is lots of really good information on there.

Unfortunately, pre-Cana and what precicely to expect varies greatly from parish to parish and diocese to diocese. Set up a meeting with both priests/churches involved (the one doing the ceremony and the one doing the pre-Cana) to get their specifics.

Many churches let you set the date at the first meeting, though some may ask that you complete some or all of pre-Cana (competing the marriage discernment process) first.

You will almost certainly have to complete some form of "married life skills preparation." This might be meetings with married couples, an Engaged Encounter weekend, or a parish-specific class (or series of classes). This will discuss things like communication, finance and sexuality.

Many girls have to complete the FOCCUS survey (or similar), which is an assessment of having discussed issues like those discussed in the married life skills class.

Some girls have to complete a class in NFP (natural family planning), though I would recommend it for everyone, regardless of whether it is required or not.

Ask lots of questions -- ask questions here (we know a whole lot around here!). Ask questions of the priests you are working with

I'm not sure from you OP if you have been baptized at all or just not baptized Catholic. You will be able to be married without converting either way (and I agree that it is a decision you need to make for yourself in your own time -- kudos for that!), but it will affect whether you can have a full mass (with communion) or just a ceremony. If you have been baptized in another Christian denomination, you will be able to have a mass; if you have not been baptized, you may only have the ceremony. Both are equally valid.

Skc20

We were able to pick our date on the first meeting. My FI is not Catholic and he really enjoyed the pre cana classes and said he was glad we did it. We met with lots of other couples getting married, and it was just a lot of talking to each other in group led talks.