Gift for Deacon officiating wedding

Eliz77

I think I asked this before but cannot find the post...

I am getting ready to set aside the tips for my wedding day. I already paid the organist ($150-do I owe her a tip???) and have to find out what I owe to the Church-I THINK it's $200...Last time I asked the Deacon who is officiating about paying, he was like,"Oh, yeah...don't worry, we'll figure it out..." very dismissive. I presume I pay after the rehearsal? What sort of "gift" do I give him-a tip? A gift card to a restaurant? Donation to the Church? I didn't know him before all this wedding planning, but I will say I feel he has become a family member. FI (who is not a practicing Catholic) asked if he'd be the one to baptize our future kids. That is how great our experience with him has been! 

What have (or will) you guys done? Thanks!

professorscience

I don't think you need to tip your organist, but some of the musicians on here might kill me for saying that.

Our priest's fee was $150 (paid at the rehearsal), and on top of that we got him a $50 gift card to his favorite restaurant and a picture of the three of us from the wedding day (which we actually didn't give him until about six months later, which I regret).

bibliophile2010

Ditto not tipping the musicians if you are paying them directly (again, some of the musicians may disagree!). If they are part of the parish's "package," I would tip them.

We gave our priest $100 and a picture. Because of our relationship, we knew that this was a generous gift for him. I might have upped the amount if I had been working with a priest in another situation or, in your case, someone you have grown close to. I know some people advocate including a gift card or similar gift, because those are more likely to remain in the priest's personal usage (instead of going back to the parish or order). I also think a nice, handwritten note should be included, rather than just an envelope with money.

Tami87

We ended up giving our priest a card and $100 cash. I wanted to get a gift card or something that he would use for himself but things got hectic close to the wedding and I delegated the gift for the priest to my husband and he didn't end up having time to get a gift card.

Someone suggested that we get either a gas card or a visa gift card. I thought those were both good ideas.

ootmother2

The deacon was the bride's uncle.

haha, he asked for his fee the day they told them that they wanted him to marry them.

A silver picture frame with a picture of them on their wedding day.

The uncle, brother of the FOB and one of 11 siblings, has married all of this generation and has an entire bookcase devoted to wedding photos of his nieces and nephews on their wedding day.  They number over 100!

newlyseliski

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_gift-for-deacon-officiating-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:9df97c12-2345-458d-820b-f8ac313f3967Post:963e2a0c-70f3-47be-8b8c-ece5c4f3d900">Re: Gift for Deacon officiating wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]The deacon was the bride's uncle. haha, he asked for his fee the day they told them that they wanted him to marry them. A silver picture frame with a picture of them on their wedding day. The uncle, brother of the FOB and one of 11 siblings, has married all of this generation and has an entire bookcase devoted to wedding photos of his nieces and nephews on their wedding day.  They number over 100!
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

<div>So cool!</div><div>
</div><div>@Eliz... if all else fails, check with your wedding coordinator or the parish secretary what the fee typically is... and then ask them if they happen to know what his favorite restaurant or store is for something extra since you both really appreciated all his help.</div>

lovelyLP22

Funny, I had a similar question...The Deacon from my church has been doing all the preparations with us and meeting with us regularly, however, we are getting married by a Priest (from another church) at my church. Does this mean we should gift both of them? I'm assuming yes but not sure how much to give both. We were thinking something personalized and a gift card for the Deacon since we got to know him well and he was amazing, just not sure what to give the Priest. Any ideas?

(Btw, we chose a Priest from a different church to compromise. We're getting married at my church but using my fiance's churches Priest)