EE Gitters

Raeily

I was raised Catholic and my FI is Episcopalian. We're not having a Catholic wedding, but we are going through a lot of the normal Catholic premarital counseling. We're going to our Engaged Encounter Retreat this weekend and my FI is really nervous that he's gonna be out of place at the retreat not being totally engrained in the religion. Do you guys think that he'll be comfortable in the situation or really feel out of place? 

saritak

I don't think he'll feel out of place. I had just started my RCIA classes when we went on our EE. I was not baptized, raised with very little religion (what little I was raised with was LDS) and had just begun to learn about Catholicism and was worried about feeling like an outsider, but it all worked out fine. At our EE, most of the focus was on issues you face as a couple--finances, kids, communication, honesty, fighting fair, how/where to spend the holidays with family, etc. and making sure you had discussed the issues and were on the same page. 

There were a few presentations that brought up specific Catholic beliefs, but most of it focused on how to prepare yourself to have the best marriage you can have and inviting God into your marriage. There were couples at ours like you and your FI, one Catholic and one of a different religion, but there were also a few couples in which neither person was Catholic. They had heard about EE from friends or what not and thought they could benefit from it. We had a wonderful time at our EE and I'm sure you guys will too! 

Raeily

Thanks so much! I really appreciate the response.

mica178

H is Presbyterian (although he has so much family that is Catholic he is very familiar with the religion), and he felt fine during EE.  Honestly, EE focuses on your relationship with each other more than anything else, so denomination is of little issue during that weekend.  Just relax, have fun, and enjoy a few days' break from wedding planning!

doctabroccoli

Ditto what mica and sari said.

My H is Methodist, and he was fine with our pre-cana.  The only Catholic part really was the Mass at the end.  Other than that, it was just about our relationship with each other!

professorscience

Hi Rae,

I hadn't quite finished RCIA when FI and I did EE, and I really enjoyed it.  Like PPs have said, it was more an opportunity to dig into those issues that will come up in a marriage.  It was informative for both of us, even some catholic teachings he'd never heard.

Side-note: I read your bio and you and your FI sound a lot like me and mine.  We're big inter-nerds, as well.

Raeily

Thanks everyone! I appreciate the responses. I think the weekend will be fine, but he gets very very nervous sometimes. I'm sure your responses will comfort him. ^_^

Professor, 

Are you guys having any of your nerdiness in the wedding? FI really wants some kind of nerdy favors but I can't find one that he likes which is within our price range.

professorscience

You bet!  Our save-the-dates were Trivial Pursuit cards, with the answers to all the questions being details about our wedding.  His cake is going to be a replica of four of our board games.  And our table numbers are going to be elements from the Periodic Table, just to name a few.    If I was at all smart, I'd have a ton of pics in my bio.

For favors, we were going to get plastic test tubes and fill them with Jelly Bellies, but I don't think we'll be able to work it in to our budget.

saritak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_ee-gitters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:9e20eb52-d531-4ff4-8a7f-7a1ac81a54e2Post:c0fb9a36-eb07-4889-8b74-ccd30552023e">Re: EE Gitters</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks everyone! I appreciate the responses. I think the weekend will be fine, but he gets very very nervous sometimes. I'm sure your responses will comfort him. ^_^
Posted by Raeily[/QUOTE]

<div>I will add that I'm also a very shy person and get nervous, especially in large group, lots of strangers situations. While there is some time to socialize with the other couples, most of the interactions are between you and your FI. For ours, the leaders would present a topic to everyone and  then they would have the guys move to another area (or the girls, they would switch who had to move to another area). Each person had a booklet with questions that went with the topic presented. We were given an amount of time to write our responses and then you met back with your FI and shared what you wrote and talked about it. For the sharing part, we were able to go to our rooms, outside, where ever you felt comfortable to talk with your FI. There were a few whole group activities, but most of the personal stuff is shared just with you and your FI. </div><div>
</div><div>I guess what I'm trying to say with my longwinded response is that most of the personal sharing is done between just the two of you and you're not really put on the spot in front of the group. Hopefully this helps ease your FI's nerves. :)</div>

lmeade62

Oh, honey...my FI and I were only one of two couples - out of 12 couples - who were both Catholic. I think he'll be just fine...

mkgrover

as the non-catholic half of a mixed couple, i was totally fine for 98% of my pre-cana weekend.  and that was with most of the couples in our group being catholic couples.  your FI will be fine, especially since the difference between your FI's episcopalian and your catholic is much smaller than the difference between me and my FI.