Catholic Weddings

must I have psalms?

I am having an interfaith ceremony at a church, officiated by a deacon and a rabbi.  The original plan was that there would be two old testament readings and then both officiants would say a few words before the marriage vows, followed by a candle lighting ceremony and closing words.  Last night when we met with the deacon, it somehow snowballed into the following:

opening prayer
reading 1
responsorial psalm
reading 2
responsorial psalm
reading 3
responsorial psalm
gospel reading
candle lighting ceremony
closing prayers from deacon and rabbi

I'm very overwhelmed at how much it became a religious ceremony- which is expected to some extent given that it's in a church- but would sitll like it to be mostly interfaith and about our LOVE rather than a lot of god.

Basically my long story short is... do I have to have psalms?  Can We just go from one reading to the next?

Re: must I have psalms?

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    Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    some of this may be required in order for you to receive your sacrament.  3 readings seems a bit much tho, i usually just see one or two.

    if you want a catholic ceremony and sacrament, it is very much about God and faith as well as your love for each other.  perhaps a catholic wedding isnt the best choice for you?

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    edited December 2011
    it's for my fiance, not me.  It's really too late at this point- 25 days to go! It was supposed to be interfaith, but only last night did we really get down to the details and learn that it is much more catholic than jewish (the rabbi will do the third reading from Genesis and a seperate blessing at the end).
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    Riss91Riss91 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've typically only seen one Responsorial Psalm, so you may be able to take the other 2 out. As far as I know, Catholic ceremonies have 2 readings (usually one from the Old Testament and one from the New Testament), with a Responsorial Psalm in between. You have the third reading in there to incorporate the Jewish ceremony.  If you want to cut down even more, I'd take out the candle lighting ceremony which is not part of the Catholic ceremony (and I didn't think it was part of the Jewish ceremony, either - but don't quote me on that!).

    It may have become more Catholic because the Catholic ceremony is more involved/has more required parts?  You could easily add in more from the Jewish ceremony to balance it out. But, it seems like you are trying to simplify/cut back. I'm sure it's no easy task to juggle and combine two different ceremonies into one. It seems like you would have prefered a non-religious or simply "spiritual" ceremony. An interfaith ceremony is going to be more involved and more religious - you're combining 2 religions. How could it be "not a lot of God"? Know what I mean? I'd speak to your priest about which sections he would be okay with omitting. Best of Luck!

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    mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, you guys have one reading more than I've seen in the traditional wedding and two more psalms.  Usually it's one OT reading, one NT reading, and a gospel reading, with the psalm in between the OT and NT and an alleluia proclamation between the NT and gospel readings.  The nice thing about the psalm is it's OT so should be a-okay with both Jewish and Christian guests.

    To echo the PPs, by combining and honoring two religions, you're going to end up with a whole lot of "love of God" in the ceremony, which is the point in traditional religious weddings.  Neither Catholicism nor Judaism focus on romantic love in marriage.  Rather, both focus on community, faith, hope.  You can showcase your love and devotion to each other during the first dance and speeches, don't expect the priest and rabbi to do that.

    You can shorten things by omitting one psalm probably.  Or, if you don't mind making the ceremony "less Jewish," drop one of the OT readings.  Also, pick shorter readings, like Mark 10:6-9 and Ruth 1:16-17.
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    edited December 2011
    We're doing  a private Catholic ceremony, and I think the list Fr. gave us for the ceremony rundown only had 1 reading -- and he said we could pick which one.

    I'm guessing you're not the Catholic one in your relationship?  It sounds like you wanted this ceremony to be a blend of your faiths, and although the location is in a church, your religion should be treated just as importantly if you are planning for a blended ceremony.

    If it's not what you were looking for, just ask to change it!  The worst they can do is say 'no' right??  I'm sure these people would be willing to work with you! :)
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    Theresa626Theresa626 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think you could probably ask to have the last two psalms removed considering they are not part of a normal mass.  Especially reading 3 should have a gospel acclamation after it instead of a psalm (that's an alleluia).  I wonder if you could have the gospel be something from the old testament if they'd let you.  
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    MissAngelMissAngel member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That last reponsorial psalm should just be the Alleluia and not actually a responsorial psalm before the Gospel.
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