Church not returning calls

Theresa626

So, I have questions and things to ask the music director and he never returns my calls. We've been in contact since November and he has never ever returned any email or phone call or message I've left him. Every single time, I have had to go to that church (not my parish church), find him after mass and talk to him about whatever I needed. 

I have been calling him once a week for three weeks now. I've also emailed.  I've asked the church secretary and told her he hasn't called me back.  I've left one message each week asking him to call me.  I haven't been able to go to that church because of other conflicts. I've been just going to the church by me and haven't been able to drive out there. i can't go for the next few sundays either. 

At this point, what would you do?  Should I call and leave a message every single day?  Should I email every day?  Should I call the secretary?  Call only once a week?

This is the same man, btw, who told me he won't show up to my wedding but I still need to pay him 200$ as a church fee.  (I'm hiring a choir so he isn't needed).  I have to get his approval on every tiny thing I do with the choir so this is why I have to talk to him. 

meltoine

His behaviour is unacceptable from a paid vendor. I would suggest finding other musicians. 

Clare13

Could this be because your wedding is not for another 5 months?  I understand your urgency to talk to him immediately, but I'm sure he has other church obligations and weddings that take precedence over yours at this time.  I would suggest contacting your main contact at the church (priest/deacon/wedding coordinator) and asking them what a reasonable response time should be.  It may be that he will not work on your wedding until 1-2 months out.  This is the way music at my church is.  Hopefully they will be able to give you advice on how to handle the specific situation. 

Calypso1977

that is frustrating, but yeah, if you are 5 months out they probably arent viewing it as a priority.  you have plenty of time to pick out music, etc.

lauraNkieran

Yeah if you're 5m out then that could be it.  I was frustrated because my Priest hadn't returned my 2 weeks of phone calls in January but I'm getting married in March. 

I wouldn't call or email every single day at this point.  As we get closer I'd suggest pulling him aside after mass and actually asking him which is the best way to get in touch with him since he hasn't responded any messages you've left.

berrytr

Wow!  His behavior is unprofessional, at the least.  You may need to find someone else.

Theresa626

meltoine, he's not a paid vendor. He's the music director at the church I'm getting married at.  Everything has to go through him to be approved. I'm not using him for the music. 

Theresa626

All, I know it's five months out but the choir I hired needs time to rehearse and learn all of the music I picked for them so he might think it's no biggie but for the musicians, there are certain things that need to be approved, etc. 

Anyways, he finally emailed me back. He said he got my messages but when he thought about calling me, I would've been at work anyway so he didn't call.  I don't know why he didn't leave a message just to let me know he wasn't ignoring me.  It's really irritating to feel like you're pestering someone when they can't be bothered to simply return a phone call or email in a timely manner. 

MeghannElizabeth

Wow, I feel for you. We got engaged in November and we've been trying to set a date ever since. I can barely get ahold of my priest who is performing the ceremony, and he can't seem to get ahold of the church we're getting married at (it's out of town). Last Friday we found out our first choice date was already booked, so we picked another one and called back the same day and haven't heard from anyone since even though we've left multiple messages. I agree with you, at least call me back and let me know you're working on it!

Theresa626

Wow, Meghann, that is terrible!  Is there another church you could possibly go to?  That would drive me crazy.  Have you tried calling at different times of the day?

MeghannElizabeth

We actually just yesterday called the church and found out that we are in fact on the calendar. So we have finally set a date!

Did the music director answer your questions once he finally e-mailed you back? It's so frustrating not being able to communicate with someone during your planning, and it's not like you can just drop your church/associated staff like you might with another vendor. 

Theresa626

He half answered my questions and said he'd get back to me on others but it's a start!