Would like some advice....

bettylikesstarwars

I was raised Catholic. When my Mother & Father stepped away from the Church in my later teenaged years, I followed suite.

As I grew older, I grew farther away from the Catholic Church. A few years ago, I started to become more spiritual and began a better relationship with God. Now, I would like to return to the Church (I'm 33 yrs old.)

I started to attend Church and receive communion regularly. I just found out via Internet that I never should have taken communion since I haven't been to confession yet.  Also, My husband and I recently got married (non-legally) outside a Catholic church, so I don't know if it's even okay to receive Holy Communion after I confess???

1.) I am planning on going to confession so I can begin to receive the Holy Sacrament. I have stopped taking Communion as soon as I learned it was wrong for me to do so. (I feel sick about this. It just didn't occur to me what I was doing was wrong.) I am mentioning this in my confession.

2.) Am I living in sin since I have chosen not to get a "legal" marriage? My husband and I do not want to be legally married. I plan on talking to this to a priest, but I am just wondering if anyone can shed some light for me and provide some reliable links. Now I'm wondering if I will ever get to receive Holy Communion based on my decision not to be legally married. I know Catholics who have not been married in Catholic Church still be able to receive Holy Communion, but I'm wondering if the "legal" status plays into it.

Thank you in advance for your kind input.

Riss91

I applaud you for your efforts and promise it will be well worth it!

If you are living as husband and wife (ie living together, sleeping together), and you are not married according to the Catholic Church, then you need to correct that before receiving communion. The priest may ask that you abstain until your marriage is vallidated. It seems as though you weren't married in a legal/civil ceremony, so I'm not sure that annulment will be required, but you should ask your priest about this.

Once you have your marriage in the Catholic Church (possibly in a convalidation ceremony) and you go to confession, you will be able to receive communion.

I don't think there are any rules in the Church that require you to have your marriage recognized by the government, but don't hold me to that!

I hope you are able to straighten everything out! I will keep you in my prayers.

agapecarrie

I LOVE stories of people coming back. SO HAPPY for you. I really appreciate that you are respecting the sacrament and refraining until you get things worked out. 

about 2) You are using the term "legal" and I'm taking that to mean "in the church", not just civilly legal, correct? I'm basing this on that assumption:

Catholics are bound by canonical form in their sacraments. A sacrament has to be proper form and matter in order to be valid, this includes marriage. You can work on getting a "convalidation".....which means that your marriage would be made valid in the church along with your civil marriage. The church does not consider you married until this happens. 

What can happen is that you can go to confession, and promise to live as brother and sister (no sex) until you can get a convalidation. If you do this, you can receive communion. 

Now...the other side, if you are talking about "legal" marriage as in civil...in the eyes of the state... in order to be married in the church, one must also be legally married. The church follows the law of the government. I don't understand how you say you are married but its not "legal" if this is what you meant. Who "married" you?

What I recommend is to make an appointment to go to confession, don't just show up to a scheduled parish time because lots of people might be waiting and there's not a lot of time to address these issues. Tell the priest everything, don't hold anything back. It will be awesome. 

bettylikesstarwars

Thanks for your kind words. I just feel so awful that I have offended God by taking Holy Communion while in sin.

My husband and I had a ceremony and exchanged vows. We did not have a legal ceremony though as we do not wish to have the legal implications connected with a marriage. We have been together for over 14 years. (I know, a lot of yeras filled with sin.....)

I wish my Godmother would be willing to offer some support on this, but she has turned against her religion as well. I keep praying and asking God to help me follow His will. I know I need to talk to a priest about this. I do not belong to a Parish yet (I am looking for a fit) so I don't even know if a priest will talk to me about this.

My husband was also raised Catholic and he's started to get back into it himself, too (I don't push him as I see it's his own personal decision to make.) I don't know if he would be willing to get legally married now just to satisfy the Catholic requirement if there is such a thing..... That's a whole another can of beans we will have to figure out.

I'm started to just feel sad that I might not ever be allowed to receive Holy Communion after confession (because of our non-legal status.) Of course, I will refrain from Holy Communion until a priest tells me it's okay.

bettylikesstarwars

Yes, it was not a "legal" marriage as in civil (government.) We did not file any papers with the State.

Okay, I figured it would not be considered valid with the church. So then I cannot receive Holy Communion even after confession.

...I like your recommendation on making an appointment with a priest. Will he see me even if I am not a member of the Parish though?

agapecarrie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_would-like-some-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:d4e83fef-61bd-47e6-8a7d-72b82a669729Post:851a70ae-4132-45e3-aa81-6b4e2cc8c500">Re: Would like some advice....</a>:
[QUOTE]T. I'm started to just feel sad that I might not ever be allowed to receive Holy Communion after confession (because of our non-legal status.) Of course, I will refrain from Holy Communion until a priest tells me it's okay.
Posted by bettylikesstarwars[/QUOTE]

<div>What legal implications don't you want? </div><div>
</div><div>If you choose to remain like this, then you would be choosing that OVER Jesus. You can't have other gods besides HIM. This would be putting your preferences over something relatively trivial than to be able to be in full communion with Christ's church and receive Him body blood, soul and divinity....becoming One with Christ. Please do not put anything over Jesus. </div>

agapecarrie

Yes, a priest is happy to help people come back into the church, in the parish or not. 

professorscience

If you've been together 14 years, aren't you common-law married?  Wouldn't that bring on any legal implications?