Godparents and Baptism

catarntina

So, I have been going over and over the list of people who could potentially be Godparents.  My church requires that they be Catholics in "good standing" (which they should require that).  However, nobody in my family is a Catholic in good standing.  Almost all of my cousins were baptized Catholic.  However, they either weren't married in the Church, or were married but divorced and never had a proper annulment.  Most of them are either not practicing whatsoever or they are going to other Christian denominations.

So I've been looking outside of my family.  In Colorado, my close friend is a Buddhist and her fiance is Mormon.  My other close friends are Mormons.  I know a handful of Catholic people at work, but we're not especially close with them.  Like we say "hi" in passing and chat for maybe a second or two before moving on to our next meeting.  I can think of a person in Ohio that would be a good choice, but we haven't really spoken in several years (just drifted apart).  But she's in Ohio and can't exactly come to Colorado for the baptism or to fulfill her role as Godmother.  All of these people would think it's extremely weird if I asked them because we're not close at all.

I actually haven't met anyone at church.  I'm not really the type of person to just randomly go up to strangers and say hi.  So I don't know anyone at church at all.

This is starting to keep me up at night.  You have to have Godparents in order to have the baby baptized, right?  Any thoughts?  How do people get their children baptized if they don't know any Catholics?

professorscience

I think I actually heard a caller on Catholic Answers with a question similar to yours, and they said you don't have to name godparents, but it's of course preferred.  The caller I heard didn't have a good reason for not wanting godparents except just not understanding who they would be.  You seem to have great reasons.

Could you talk to your priest?  I know my nephew's godparents are his father's aunt and uncle.  Is that an option for you?

bibliophile2010

Hmmm...that's tough. I would talk to your priest, and see what he has to say.

What about older relatives? Would any of them qualify to stand as godparents? Does your parish require two godparents, or is one enough? Are any of your divorced cousins not remarried and practicing their faith (since they would still be in communion with the Chruch)?

Sort of off topic, I'm not a walk up to people and say hi person, either, but being involved in stuff at the parish has helped me get to know a lot of people. I would really encourage you to do this, not necessarily with the intent of "meeting godparents," but getting more involved in the community, feeling like you see friendly faces at mass, making some Catholic friends who can be supportive of "Catholic stuff" (I've sent Catholic friends, for example, text messages on a Friday in Lent that said, "Why do cheeseburgers sound better when I can't have them?"), etc.

[Deleted User]

Even though we don't have kids yet, this is something H and I have thought about. All of our family and friends are either not Catholic or not practicing. My good friends that had their baby a few months ago haven't even had him baptized yet nor do I believe they plan on it. I was thinking they would ask H and I to be the godparents, and I would have been thrilled. It is just sad b/c they had full mass for their wedding, but told me they haven't been to church much in the past few years they have been married. But I try not to judge.

Even though I was baptized years ago, I know only one my my godparents is Catholic. I know that really doesn't help your situation, but I would definitely talk to your priest and see if there is any way one of your relatives that is Catholic (perhaps in Ohio) could be the baby's godparents.

I am sure you guys will work something out. God always has a way.

Calypso1977

if you truly have no one, your church can provide a couple to you.  sure, they arent family or friends, but it will get the sacrament your baby needs.

for me, the greater struggle/concern would be who you'd name in the will to raise your children.  two separate issues, but i am personally much more concerned that my child will be raised in teh faith if something should happen to me than i am over who stands up with tehm on their baptism day.  but that's just me.   while i understand the role of a godparent, most today just view it as symbolic - so even if you found 2 catholics, many probably dont even realize that they are supposed to help spiritually guide your child.

Jasmine&Rajah

Oh, my goodness - you are so close to the baby's birth now!  Yay!  :-D

We encountered a similar issue regarding baptism, I'm sad to say.  I agree that you should explain the situation to your priest and see if he's agreeable to your not having godparents at all, if it's the only way.

On this note . . . at one point, when DH and I were going through this, we sat down with a family member who was obviously "expecting" to be asked, and discussed our belief that godparents take on an active role in the child's spiritual life, that it is not just an "honorary title," etc.  We also told her, sincerely, that since she did not believe in all the teachings of the Church, we would never want her to be in a position where she would be lying to our child about her own practices.  It went better than we expected (praise God.)

agapecarrie

I think it would be better to have a good practicing Catholic be a godparent that isn't close to the family than no one at all. It can be an avenue to develop more faith filled relationships. Perhaps they have regular people involved in RCIA that become sponsors to people who don't know someone...

On the same idea, I couldn't imagine trying to live a good Christian life without my Catholic friendships. I'm not saying it can't be done...but to be alone in the fight is very trying. The community aspect can't be underestimated. I would take steps immediately to add to the circle of friends that can walk the faith with you.

lisag76

Canon Law states you only need to have one Godparent (sponsor) for Baptism. It may be easier to think of one person to fulfill the role than two. Also, Canon Law also allows along with a Catholic in good standing to have a baptized Christian to serve as a witness. So in essence you would have one Godparent and one Christian witness. Talk to your parish priest. It seems that their regulations may be more strict than Canon Law.