Can someone explain pre-cana to me?

md.law.girl

We are meeting with our priest next month and I have no idea what to expect with the pre-cana or the difference between that and Encounter Weekend. Can someone who has been through it please talk me through a step by step of what we are to expect? 

agapecarrie

Technically pre-cana is a specific kind of marriage preparation given by the priest, although today it is used as an all encompassing term to label any kind of catholic marriage preparation.

Depending on your diocese there could be several types to choose from:

-meetings with the priest (you have to meet with him at least once or twice anyway to discuss your investigation and liturgy), but the prep part would be additional

-meeting with a sponsor couple who are trained to teach marriage prep

-diocesan classes, or group classes

-engaged encouter-- a retreat experience that covers it in a weekend 

Your priest will fill you in on what is expected there. In addition, it is likely you will have to attend a class on NFP. Your first meeting will likely be gathering the info for the pre-nuptial investigation (making sure you haven't already gotten married, are Catholic, etc), maybe taking the foccus test (helps discover what issues you have and haven't talked about and possibly uncover larger problems that you need to discuss), and telling you about what your preparation options are.

Hilraythebride

I just got back from my Catholic Engaged Encounter weekend so I can help you out here.

Pre-Cana is usually a shortened version of an EE, it can be a day long (about 8 hours or so), where you and other couples will be prompted with discussion from a few presenting couples and a priest, than will be given time to formulate your answer away from your FI.  After this you will get back together with your FI and discuss the answers.  Usually with Pre-Cana you aren't able to go as in depth as at the EE due to timing.  The pre-cana is usually free or of little expense.

The EE is a weekend long which has the same format of presentations, writing, and then discussion time.  Each presentation took about 20 minutes and were done by two different couples.  We were than given 20 minutes to write on our own, and another 20 minutes to discuss.

We both found the EE to be wonderful for a few reasons. I am no Catholic and he is, we are having a traditional Catholic wedding with mass so I wanted to learn more about it.  It was nice to have time aay from everything and everyone to talk about things we wouldn't have normally discussed.  It was a very suportive environment for all the couples and very non threatening.  There was no fighting orharsh words just talking out any disagreements to come to a comprimise.

From what I have heard, some parishes require the couple to do a retreat such as EE.  Ours said pre-cana or EE but we did EE because FI's parents did.

The whole weekend does cost about $325 for the two of you.  We stayed in a hotel on the beach in Virginia Beach.  This was really cool cause we had great weather so we were able to do our writing and discussing on the beach!!!

I would recommend EE if you have the time and money (although they did say they have scholarship programs and don't turn anyone away.  You WILL have to sleep in a different room than your FI because after all it is the Catholic Church. You wil be rooming with a girl if you are and boy for your FI.  We didn't really mind this too much even though we live together.  It was just two nights and the days are long so you will be tired and fall asleep quickly.  I fell asleep right away on Saturday night!  

The days go from 7:30-9 or 10PM on Saturday and Sunday it went from 8:15-3PM.  It was totally worth it and we are both glad we did that and not pre-cana.  We are out of state anyway and would have only done the pre-cana if we were able to do it within our parish.  EE can be done anywhere as can the pre-cana reguardless of where the wedding is.

I hope this helps and that you enjoy your EE or pre-cana as much as we did!!