Question about MOH and BM

DaisyJaime

The couple we have in mind isn't married through church. We had them in mind for Maid of Honor and Best Man because we have a close relationship. They have a great married relationship and are somewhat of an example in our eyes. He is my FI older brother so, because they are not catholic, could they participate still or should we ask our priest?  We haven't asked them for the honor of being, because we want to make sure.

Thanks for your input guys, it is greatly appreciated.

Riss91

Hey there! Welcom to the board! The short answer is that the MOH and BM do not need to be Catholic, as these positions are not even required in the Catholic ceremony.

Your priest may require the witnesses that sign your marriage license to be Catholic. So I would certainly ask your priest about that and be sure to have your Catholic witnesses ready for that (we signed our license the night before the wedding at the rehearsal).

catarntina

Definitely ask the priest.  The priest who performed the ceremony (in Ohio) did not care.  The deacon doing my paperwork (in Colorado) did care.  He was upset that neither the BM or MOH were Catholic; however, my brother was a groomsman so that eased his mind a little bit.  The priest who performed the ceremony couldn't care less.

doctabroccoli

Welcome!  The only person in our 10-person wedding party who was Catholic was my brother, who was not one of the official witnesses.  As PPs said, it's definitely not required for your wedding party to be Catholic, but sometimes they like your witnesses to be.  That being said, I don't think that your best man/maid of honor are required to be the people who act as your official witnesses if push came to shove.

bibliophile2010

We were never asked about it (though BM and one of the MOHs were both Catholic, so there was no concern on our end). Talk to your priest. I suspect he won't care. If he's concerned that you have Catholic witnesses, as others have said, they can be arranged.

professorscience

In Texas, having the marriage license signed by witnesses is totally optional.  I don't know if that's the same elsewhere, but it's certainly not required that they be Catholic.  In fact, only two members of our twelve-person WP were Catholic.

[Deleted User]

Welcome! Only 2 of my 6 BM's were Catholic and one was practicing. Only one of H's GM were Catholic. Neither the Best Man nor my MOH were Catholic. No problems. Neither had to sign the marriage license.

tmeyer621

Ours don't have to be Catholic, but we do have to have two Catholic witnesses from the bridal party sign the license. The priest said he will give us one we can have us a keepsake and we can have the MOH and BH sign those.

DaisyJaime

Thanks gals for your input. This makes me feel way better and at ease b/c it means that most likely I will be able to have them as our main couple.  But just to make sure and double check, I will mention it to our priest and hope he doesn't mind it.  My mom was just having a cow when I told her that we were going to chose "that" specific couple because they aren't married by church.  Thanks again, you guys are very helpful. I appreciate it.

agapecarrie

Something needs to be clarified...you are using the term "married in the church". If the couple isn't Catholic, they don't need to be married by the church to have a valid marriage. If one or both were baptized catholic or ever converted to be Catholic, and they were not married in the Catholic church, there marriage isn't valid, and this might be an issue for the priest.

There is no canon law that states the witnesses must be Catholics like Baptism or Confirmation sponsors, however a priest may use this as an avenue to take marriage prep a step up and have the witnesses be people of the faith and have a more integrated part of the marriage. A Bishop may add something in his diocese too.

lmeade62

Our MOH was not Catholic but signed as a witness. We didn't have a Best Man, but a friend of ours who was Catholic signed as the other witness.

Linda

Calypso1977

its also important to clarify that the marriage license is different from the church record.

in MA, witnesses to the marriage are not required.  however, the catholic church requires witnesses.

so even if your state does not require the marriage license to be signed, the catholic church will still require the church register to be signed by your witnesses.