officiant and nun tip

TheSlowskys

I posted on my local but didn't get much insight so I guess I will ask here. What is an average tip/gift for the priest and nun? There is a 200 donation to the church, and a 200 charge for their musician. I know we are supposed to give something to the priest and nun as well but I had no idea how much.

Calypso1977

not sure what the nun is doing for you?

we gave our priest $100 which was on top of the $150 that was "required".

if you are having mass, dont forget to tip your altar boys as well.   we gave ours $40 each.

TheSlowskys

The nun helps with the rehearsal and just oversees things on the day of I guess. I have never met her, but I heard she is....stern.... From family that had a funeral there. Was the 150 required to go to the church or the priest?

Calypso1977

our church fee was, i think, $200 or $300. 

so, we had church fee, priest fee, organist fee, and then voluntarily gave extra to the priest, and altar boys.

it doesnt sound like the nun does much or is even needed.  id say she's covered under the church fee, but if you feel inclined to give her something, $25 is probably enough.  the rehearsal is really no work, and there is really nothing that needs coordinating the day of if you've practiced the night before.  that's the whole point of the rehearsal.  JMO.

itzMS

Our all-inclusive church/music fee is $500.

Our priest will be getting his favorite wine and a gift card to a local gourmet grocery market for a total of $75 in value.

The pianist/music coordinator is receiving a $50 gift card.

erin5286

Our church gives the following guidelines for fees, in addition to our fee for using the church:
Priest stipend - $150
Accompaniest/Organist - $100
Altar Servers - $5 each

We may give something additional to the priest, because we've really liked working with him and have really appreciated how he's guided us so far in the marriage prep process. 

Calypso1977

$5 is way too low IMO for the servers.
these kids give up a pretty significant chunk of their saturday to do this. 

erin5286

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_officiant-and-nun-tip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:e18f6af3-f874-431f-b19b-21f7cfa97654Post:94ae047e-b739-4a80-ac44-10949fa0c34a">Re: officiant and nun tip</a>:
[QUOTE]$5 is way too low IMO for the servers. these kids give up a pretty significant chunk of their saturday to do this. 
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

I agree - that's what's suggested in our cathedral's marriage booklet, but I'd like to give them more than $5.  I mean, they should be getting between $10-$11 for a 1 1/2 hour nuptial mass if you consider what minimum wage is now.  I'll make sure to talk to my priest about that at our next meeting, and find out how many servers will be present at our Mass, and figure something out. 

bibliophile2010

I think you should give the nun (who is actually probably a religious sister) something ($25-50) as well. If she does the rehearsal and coordinating, she probably has to get to the church early and run the rehearsal. Then, she probably has to get to the church early to open things (like bride's room), deal with flower delivery, musicians, photographers, serve as sacristan to set up the chapel, mass, etc. At the end, she probably does most of the clean-up to get everything ready for the Saturday vigil.

I am friendly with the woman who does wedding coordination at our parish, and I hear some crazy stories about weddings/families/etc. Everyone is not the easygoing, well-prepared, and well-versed in Catholic weddings. She deals with a lot of the same things we deal with here, plus bridezillas, momzillas, etc. I can imagine that a nun/sister who takes her faith (and thus, the sacraments and rituals of her faith) seriously, would get annoyed with all of that (especially if she does funerals, too) and would thus come off as stern. JMHO as to why you should give her the benefit of the doubt before and not be clouded in your expectations.

TheSlowskys

In Response to Re:officiant and nun tip:[QUOTE]I think you should give the nun who is actually probably a religious sister something 2550 as well. If she does the rehearsal and coordinating, she probably has to get to the church early and run the rehearsal. Then, she probably has to get to the church early to open things like bride's room, deal with flower delivery, musicians, photographers, serve as sacristan to set up the chapel, mass, etc. At the end, she probably does most of the cleanup to get everything ready for the Saturday vigil. I am friendly with the woman who does wedding coordination at our parish, and I hear some crazy stories about weddings/families/etc. Everyone is not the easygoing, wellprepared, and wellversed in Catholic weddings. She deals with a lot of the same things we deal with here, plus bridezillas, momzillas, etc. I can imagine that a nun/sister who takes her faith and thus, the sacraments and rituals of her faith seriously, would get annoyed with all of that especially if she does funerals, too and would thus come off as stern. JMHO as to why you should give her the benefit of the doubt before and not be clouded in your expectations. Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

Not trying to pass judgment or anything. Probably should have left that comment out. These were the words of fis dad and gma after his grandfathers funeral there. Both are active church members.

lalaith50

[QUOTE]In Response to Re:officiant and nun tip: Not trying to pass judgment or anything. Probably should have left that comment out. These were the words of fis dad and gma after his grandfathers funeral there. Both are active church members.
Posted by TheSlowskys[/QUOTE]<div>Without knowing that background, I thought it was a very helpful and true explanation.

</div>

professorscience

We didn't tip our church coordinator, but that was because we already paid her a pretty big chunk of the overall fee we paid the church.

I would think you could follow the same lines a lot of women do for "tipping" priests: A giftcard to a nice restaurant (find out what her favorite is, if you can) or a bottle of wine like someone suggested.

bibliophile2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_officiant-and-nun-tip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:e18f6af3-f874-431f-b19b-21f7cfa97654Post:d28c1e3e-53e6-4d27-94de-d8d82e9d410f">Re:officiant and nun tip</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:officiant and nun tip: Not trying to pass judgment or anything. Probably should have left that comment out. These were the words of fis dad and gma after his grandfathers funeral there. Both are active church members.
Posted by TheSlowskys[/QUOTE]

I apologize for having offended you. Most of my comments were meant to be directed at the idea that the coordinator doesn't do anything, which was not advanced by you. I <strong>do  </strong>think that people deserve the benefit of the doubt in most cases. Here, I obviously didn't know that your "source" was your FILs, so, I understand why they carry more credibility for you.

TheSlowskys

Not offended at all no need to apologize!