Expensive Catholic Ceremony AH!

samunnel

I know that it should vary from place to place but I was a little shocked when I looked over my Jacksonville, FL church's costs for our ceremony. $100 administrative/application fee to secure the date, $600 to rent the chapel, $50 for a sacristan (don't know what that is, a coordinator of some sort?) and a donation for the officiating priest, on average $150. So when this is all said and done I'm shelling out $900 just for a church, no flowers, no musicians. I have my heart set on this historic church, it's almost two hundred years old and was recently renovated, GORGEOUS and adorable, but is this reasonable? Has anyone else in a large city paid this much?

osterhouta

Holy Trinity in Georgetown is $1750 for parishoners and $2000 for non-parishoners....I about fainted!

agapecarrie

A sacristan is someone who makes sure all the sacramental "tools" are in place and cleaned up afterward. Probably will be helping putting kneelers out and things too.

For a historic church, which usually the only way it can stay open is to charge for weddings, that is very reasonable.

It is also a justice issue. If you are going to rent out a hall for several hours for you to invite your friends and family to and a/c or heat and clean up after you, well, it would probably cost you more anywhere else. If you are spending a large amount on a reception hall, flowers, dress, etc, shouldn't we value the church in proportion?

You can easily have a no frills wedding at a regularly scheduled mass where you don't rent it out for yourself....for a small donation to the priest and church (maybe total $100). This is of course isn't what anyone wants though. The money is not to have a Catholic wedding, the price is for the renting out of a building that needs the income to stay open.

Calypso1977

put it in perspective.

how much will your reception cost you?  im guessing alot more than $900, and without the ceremony, there'd be no marriage.

the ceremony is hte most important part.  you shouldnt balk at the expense, especially if you look at the percentage of hte expense in your overall budget.

we paid $2300 for our reception, adn the church costs were around $600 (maybe a bit less).  pretty high percentage.  but if we'd had a $20K reception, $600 is chump change.  some spend that on favors.

ring_pop

I don't know much about Jacksonville specifically, but for a large, old church in a large city, it sounds pretty normal to me. A two hundred year old building is expensive to maintain, plus you say it was recently renovated. And they have to pay their staff too (admin, cleaning, etc.). Especially with the way they have broken down the costs for you... it seems to make perfect sense.

Our sacristan was also our altar server.

Many churches publish their financial statements once a year in their bulletins, if you want to get an idea of the expenses of maintaining that church.

If it's that gorgeous, I bet you won't even need flowers. Visually, they'll just get lost anyway.

mica178

In San Francisco and the surrounding areas, the historical churches usually charge $1500-2000 for private weddings.  These are huge buildings with expensive lighting and heating bills, and by having your wedding there, you are asking the church for several more hours of the lights and heating/air-conditioning to be on, an extra clean-up by the janitorial staff, etc.  The fee often also covers the expense of the rehearsal the day before.

These beautiful old buildings are very expensive to maintain, so by having weddings there, the parish can help with maintenance costs so that the parishioners' weekly donations can go towards other projects and programs.

My good friend got married outdoors.  She paid $900 for the right to use the space and for the chairs to be delivered, insurance, etc..  She still had to pay for an officiant, musicians, decorations.  For the same price, you get to be married in a church, so you have the opportunity to receive a sacrament in a beautiful location which probably needs little extra decor .

[Deleted User]

We paid almost that much to get married in central Ohio. I really don't think that is that bad. I have heard of churches being much more expensive than that.

And yes, you should put things in perspective. If you are serious about your faith, then it won't be a big deal to you. Most brides dresses are way more than that.

Riss91

Mine was $850 to use the church (non-parishoner) and we gave each priest (we brought in our own priest) $150. We also paid for musicians and spent a good amount on them (well over $500).

I compared this to our reception hall that also allows for ceremonies. They charge $4.50 per guest for your ceremony. If you have 150 guests, that's $675 right there. Plus an officiant which in my area is anywhere from $250-$450 and then musicians which can be anywhere from $150 to infinity depending on what you want. It's basically the same cost to have it at a non-church location.

As pp stated, it's really not such a huge costs in the scheme of your wedding - especially given its importance. A lot of brides have "sticker shock" because the assumption is church=low cost. But the church needs to cover the costs of holding your wedding during a non-scheduled mass. Not something to dwell on!

kgrunow

I know churches in my area will cut all the fees if you cannot afford to get married. The thing with this is you must show need and if you are planning a reception then you should be able to afford the church.

catarntina

To get married at the Cathedral Basilica of the Immaculate Conception in Denver -- the Archdiocese "Mother Church" as they call it, costs $1300 not including stipend to the priest. Also does not include donations to eucharist ministers, organist, etc.

threepinkroses

We're paying $1500.

ootmother2

St. Patrick's Cathedral starts at $2,000, with the exception of Convent of the Sacred Heart alums who are not charged.  Musicians are extra as are gifts or donations to the priest, alter servers, etc.

Your church sounds witin reason to me.

kkperson

The high cost  is the trade off for having a historic church. Ours is much less expensive, but it's because it is our home parrish.

Tami87

I'm planning to get married at the Shrine of St. Joseph in St. Louis and it is $1500 but that includes the organist and we can chose to use their aisle decorations. But we will need to bring in our own priest and pay for servers etc.

We plan to just cut back in other areas like flowers and the reception site (I've still got over a year to go so I haven't done much besides book the church, talk to FI's old priest and try to figure out how we are going to do pre-cana long distance)

Hope61

My family's church which is also historic charges $500 for parishioners and $1000 for non-parishioners (so, the people who likely contribute regularly pay less). This does not include the organist. Obviously flowers are extra too, but as a pp said, its beautiful enough without flowers (beyond our bouquets/boutinieres, of course).

bibliophile2010

Our church $800 for members, $1000 for non-members, plus fees and Pre-Cana costs.

I've heard that the local bascilica charges over $2000, but I have not confirmed it.

I see it like a MasterCard commercial. Church, $800. Priest, $150. NFP class, $150. Sacramental Catholic Marriage, Priceless.

Iluvev85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_expensive-catholic-ceremony-ah?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:e350dfe2-a16e-4a40-abf0-ffa3ab299147Post:f0d8f812-37f2-4fbc-b142-0cdd479c5dad">Re: Expensive Catholic Ceremony AH!</a>:
[QUOTE]Our church $800 for members, $1000 for non-members, plus fees and Pre-Cana costs. I've heard that the local bascilica charges over $2000, but I have not confirmed it. <strong>I see it like a MasterCard commercial. Church, $800. Priest, $150. NFP class, $150. Sacramental Catholic Marriage, Priceless</strong>.
Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]

Love that and totally agree! Its definitely worth the $

newlyseliski

Yes, it can be very costly... but I agree with PP's that it's important to also consider how much the ubiquitous "garden wedding" would cost for the site, chairs, decorations, officiant and "plan b" in case it rains! 

My fiance and I will be married at the Cathedral of Saint Paul in MN, which is the "mother church" of the Archdiocese and very historic.  I've been a pretty involved parishioner since I became a member after graduating college about 4 years go, so we are paying the parish member fee of $1000.  However, we are very fortunate that this $1000 includes donations to our priest, deacon, FOCCUS test and discussion, coordinator, organist, security and our programs!  It did not include our required NFP classes or pre-cana retreat fee.

One of my good friends who used to work in the Cathedral's administrative offices told me that oftentimes in the winter they would have heating bills up to $35,000 for ONE MONTH!  At Mass, I'd still keep my winter coat on usually, because it really doesn't stay very warm anyways. It costs a lot for the maintenance, conditioning and repairs in a historic church, which is often (sadly) why some dioceses need to close them or completely gut and "wreckovate" in order to reduce those costs.  Right now, the Cathedral has to raise millions to repair some interior water damage on the ceilings as well as both of the historic pipe organs... our puny little wedding fee is a drop in the bucket!

Across the river in Minneapolis, Saint Mary's Basilica (same architect as the Cathedral), I've heard has an even higher fee... $2,0000-$3,000 or so?  That might be for non-members, though.

CaylaSummer

I'm in Canada and we are paying 750 for everything including donations, cantor and i think 2 altar boys. No choir though.

samunnel

All of your comments gave me a better perspective on the where the costs go and the significance of the ceremony over the rest of the day. Thanks so much ladies! I feel alot better about the idea.

kolina93

We are getting married at St. Mary's Basilica in Phoenix Arizona... They charge $2,000 for non-parishioners and $1,000 for parishioners JUST to booked the Church. There are about $800 in additional fees for the Marriage Prep Coordinator, the Organist, Priest Stipend, and Cantor. We also have to bring in our own flowers. They have been very generous with working with us on payments as well as being able to defer some of the cost till after the wedding. It's expensive, but insignificant in the end as the Church needs the money.

mags0607

We got married at Saint Patrick's Church in New Orleans and I would have scaled back on anything neceassary in order to do so.

Our fees broke out like this:
Church rental - $1500
Coordinator Fee-$200
Sacristan Fee- $50
Janitorial- $50
Organist ( you had to use their organist because the organ is over 100 years old. This is non-negotiable) - $300
Trumpeter-$200
Cantor-$200

It seems like a lot of money, but it was the most important part to both my H and I as well as my parents. The PP are right in that its all a matter of perspective.

lindsaynewbride10

We're paying the church $400 plus the $600 fee for the brass quintet.

astanos

I'm from a really small town in the midwest and we just have to make a donation to our priest for his time and use of our parish.  We also have to take an intro NFP class but it's only $20.  We have to go to the Engaged Encounter weekend and that costs $350 for a couple for the weekend.  We only have to pay $50 for an organist and our violinist is playing for free as a gift to us.  I agree with you that that is a lot of money (only since I hardly have to pay anything) but I also agree with PPs that it will definitely be worth it in the end!

MopsieB

St. Ignatius Loyola Denver: $1,000- this goes for both parishioners and non-parishioners. This is another new development in the new Catholic church: Charging for sacraments! I strongly disagree with the comparisons being made here between paying a secular business for a reception (i.e., a restaurant, hotel, banquet hall) and getting married in the church!! One is a mere party, which anyone can theoretically purchase while the other confers God's blessing on your union. I mean, since when was Jesus in the business of making money??? Sorry, but I find the whole thing vulgar and extremely distasteful. My parents didn't have to pay. My brother didn't have to pay. None of my Catholic friends had to pay. And yet suddenly, in the last 1-2 years, the Catholic church has quietly made itself into a country club banquet hall. (fyi- we're not paying the $1K. We're paying what we feel is reasonable and of course, tipping all of the appropriate people).

Calypso1977

they technically cant charge for sacraments, but i do see a trend in indirectly charging.  for example, they might baptise your child for free, but they "require" you to take a class (that charges a fee) which explains baptism to you.  now i can MAYBE understand this for someone who doesnt attend church at all, or its their first kid, but it was pretty lame when my sister (and me as godparent) had to take a class at her church for her FOURTH child.  my sister and her family often attend daily mass, her older boys serve, and they absolutely know what baptism is all about and why we receive teh sacrament.

sadly, even tho many of our parents didnt pay for the church when they married, they also had common sense to provide an appropriate stipend.  many today woudl nto know any better or feel entitled to the services and not give any money at all. 

Riss91

Mopsie, the church has expenses, too. Some parishes are doing better than others and the fees required are generally based on the amount of expense involved in hosting your wedding. You could get married for free if you have your ceremony during a regularly scheduled mass.

And ditto Calypso - years ago people would not need to be asked for a donation, because they would give generously without being asked. Also, as the economy has suffered, regular donations to parishes are diminishing and certain parishes may not be able to cover their expenses as well as they used to.

There are good reasons for these things in most cases, if you attempt to see it from the other poitn of view instead of automatically accusing the entire church of being greedy.