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Catholic Weddings
Catholic Church -6 to 8mth prep period??? Anyone do it in less time?
My fiance and I decided we don't want to wait any longer to get married and want to get married in September. I found a place, that I love and it is available. I called the church to start the process and the Priest told me they require a minimum of 6 mths prep. We are going to see him in person, anyone know the best way to get around the 6mth prep.. and get him to do 3 mths???
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Re: Catholic Church -6 to 8mth prep period??? Anyone do it in less time?
I agree with carrie that trying to "get around the rules" and convince to do what you want is really not a great attitude to go in with. The church considers marriage a very big deal and wants to make sure couples are prepared for the sacrament.
My only advice is to be open and honest with your priest about the reasons you want a short engagement, and if he finds them serious he may work with you, but I would still be prepared for him to tell you no and I wouldn't book anything else until you have a date set with the church.
[QUOTE]My fiance and I decided we don't want to wait any longer to get married and want to get married in September. I found a place, that I love and it is available. I called the church to start the process and the Priest told me they require a minimum of 6 mths prep. We are going to see him in person, anyone know the best way to get around the 6mth prep.. and get him to do 3 mths???
Posted by Bonniekf[/QUOTE]
I really don't know what the minimum you can do these days would be as I am MOB and I'm pretty sure the rules have changed in a generation.
We decided to get married on a Wednesday, planning the wedding for a week that Saturday. (a real thrill for my poor late father) After a lot of discussion, he agreed and called his friend J.C. (the Monsignor to get things on a roll) The prep was minimal, three meetings but not pre cana as I have seen it on the boards. He knew us well so he couldn't think of a reason to delay the process. Porr guy, I think that he regretted his decision, we divorced within a few years. I do love him dearly for being part of our family though! And how could he have known?
[QUOTE] Thank you both for your insight. My fiance and I have been togather for 6 years, 3 of which he was unemployed and we kept putting off the financial burden of a wedding, and I wanted to see him secure. Now that he has been working 6 mths we got engaged, and both want to start a family right away. I am 37 and he is 40, . Please note I AM NOT PREGNANT! In addition the location we have been wanting to get married in, must be in warm weather, so that is another reason for the rush. this place is VERY special to us and to wait another year, or pick another location is a hard choice. But this being said He is the one of Catholic faith and it is important to him and his family. <strong>My next question would be, IF we got married in a protestant church... or Justice of the Peace. Will we one day be able to renew our vows in a Catholic church, if we are already married.
Posted by Bonniekf[/QUOTE]
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Depends on the priest. Like the ladies said before, marriage is a BIIIGGG deal in the Catholic church, and while I don't know anyone that has had a convalidation (renewing the vows in a catholic church), it only seems logical that the priest has every right to deny you that privilege. My understanding is that a convalidation is more readily performed for people that were married before converting to the Catholic faith, and once becoming Catholic want to make their marriage valid in the eyes of the Church. NOT Catholics who felt the rules didn't apply to them and want a free pass later.
ETA- Just make sure any talk with the priest and see if you can work something out. He might be a little hesitant because didn't you say you just found this church? Try going through marriage prep with your home church and having your home priest sort of vouch for you.
Good luck
We notified our Church well in advance, but didn't do anything with the priest or marriage prep until two months out.
A friend of mine just got "married" at Disney in a non Catholic wedding and both her and her (now husband) are Catholic. Her priest did not give her permission or a dispensation because there was no reason there should have been one.
She did have a Catholic ceremony after the Disney one to "remedy" the situation and even went to confession in an attempt to put herself into a state of grace with the Church. However, since she saw nothing wrong with the fact that she tried to get around the rules of the Church, it could be argued that the confession was not valid and neither was the Catholic cermony.
If you had total ignorance of the fact that getting married outside of the Church was wrong, it is one thing. But when you willingly disobey the rules of the Church and seek to have your marriage elsewhere because you prefer the location or it is the only way your dad will pay for the reception, your priorities are messed up (please note, original poster, I am not referring to you and your priorities here but sort of venting about my friend...).
Doing things in accordance with the Church are important. After all, your soul is at stake. ANd what is more importnat - a fancy wedding or your eternal salvation? I wish my friend that just got "married" would have considered this question a little more carefully.
our entire engagement was only 7 months; our pre-cana took about a month. but we were regular parishioners/lifelong catholics.
3. What is the difference between a valid and an invalid Catholic marriage?
Just as individual states have certain requirements for civil marriage (e.g., a marriage license, blood tests), the Catholic Church also has requirements before Catholics can be considered validly married in the eyes of the Church. A valid Catholic marriage results from four elements: (1) the spouses are free to marry; (2) they freely exchange their consent; (3) in consenting to marry, they have the intention to marry for life, to be faithful to one another and be open to children; and (4) their consent is given in the presence of two witnesses and before a properly authorized Church minister. Exceptions to the last requirement must be approved by church authority.
4. If a Catholic wants to marry a non-Catholic, how can they assure that the marriage is recognized by the Church?
In addition to meeting the criteria for a valid Catholic marriage (see question #3), the Catholic must seek permission from the local bishop to marry a non-Catholic. If the person is a non-Catholic Christian, this permission is called a "permission to enter into a mixed marriage." If the person is a non-Christian, the permission is called a "dispensation from disparity of cult." Those helping to prepare the couple for marriage can assist with the permission process.
5. Why does a Catholic wedding have to take place in a church?
For Catholics, marriage is not just a social or family event, but a church event. For this reason, the Church prefers that marriages between Catholics, or between Catholics and other Christians, be celebrated in the parish church of one of the spouses. Only the local bishop can permit a marriage to be celebrated in another suitable place.
6. If a Catholic wishes to marry in a place outside the Catholic church, how can he or she be sure that the marriage is recognized by the Catholic Church as valid?
The local bishop can permit a wedding in another church, or in another suitable place, for a sufficient reason. For example, a Catholic seeks to marry a Baptist whose father is the pastor of the local Baptist church. The father wants to officiate at the wedding. In these circumstances, the bishop could permit the couple to marry in the Baptist church. The permission in these instances is called a "dispensation from canonical form."
7. If two Catholics or a Catholic and non-Catholic are married invalidly in the eyes of the church, what should they do about it?
They should approach their pastor to try to resolve the situation.
Basically, you are going to need to talk to the priest either way you look at it. They would have to grant you permission. If permission is granted, your marriage would be valid in the eyes of the church regardless of where the marriage took place. I went to an inter-faith marriage a few years ago. The marriage took place in the church of the bride, who is not Catholic. When the couple had their first child, they decided to raise him Catholic. He was baptized in his father's Catholic church. According to what they told me, their marriage was considered valid because the priest of the groom signed off on them having the wedding somewhere else.
Also, this is the website I got the information from: http://old.usccb.org
As far as getting it done in a few months, good luck. It will all depend on your priest, and they will probably require you go through the marriage prep course. If your diocese is like ours, you will have to still meet with the priest, but you will also have to attend a series of workshops. That may be the hard part since they are only done certain times and dates of the year.
Good luck! I do hope it works out for you, I think if anything your ages will work for you since your age to have children is starting to dwindle. (please don't take that the wrong way, you are by no means old, or anything close to it - just from the Catholic viewpoint on having children, your window of opportunity is starting to get smaller. It may help you!)