Marriage is Obsolete??

DFWIndian

I saw this and I thought how sad it is... It's terrible to think marriage as become more of an after thought then the normal thing.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_declining_marriage

What do you think?

Calypso1977

i personally dont think its obsolete, but i can see society moving in that direction.

more and more couples live together as "life partners", out of wedlock children are everywhere now, and women are being instructed to have children whether there is a man in their life or not.  divorce lawyers are super expensive - doing all of the aforementioned saves money adn headaches for those who dont feel that being married is important.

honestly, though, if you remove religion from marriage, i can see why people find it irrelevant or too constricting.   if you are an atheist, what's the incentive to get married? you dont beleive its a sacrament.  you dont believe that there is a higher power who will judge  your actions.   i think as society continues to move in a god-less direction, there will be a continuing decline in marriage.

ootmother2

I had to laugh at that article.

The number of families gathering for Thanksgiving is shrinking?

I wish   Next Thursday we will be 37, for dinner!

To answer your question, no, I don't think marriage is becoming obsolete, religious or not.  Statistics can take you anywhere you want them to

Riss91

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_marriage-obsolete?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:eedf40b6-feae-47f5-b9e0-bdf6cf800164Post:5de6e0c6-c5eb-492d-ad2b-2075062d2d47">Re: Marriage is Obsolete??</a>:
[QUOTE] honestly, though, if you remove religion from marriage, i can see why people find it irrelevant or too constricting.   if you are an atheist, what's the incentive to get married? you dont beleive its a sacrament.  you dont believe that there is a higher power who will judge  your actions.   i think as society continues to move in a god-less direction, there will be a continuing decline in marriage.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

I agree. Personally, if there were no governmental marriage distinction, I would be fine with it. You only need to be legally married for immigration or tax purposes -which they can do away with. And otherwise, you can make your own legal documents about your health/finances/will etc outside of the govt. Do I think that people take marriage less seriously nowadays? Yes. And I don't think it's going to get much better if our society maintains its moral regression.

Calypso1977

OOT, that's a lot of turkey.  are you cooking?

i think the tax code should be re-examined.  for example, you can be a gay couple with 2 kids or an unmarried couple with two kids, all living together in one household.  the state/feds will consider one of that couple the parent, thus qualifying them for all sorts of single parent benefits and handouts, even though they arent really a single parent at all.  then those of us who are married with 2 kids pay a penalty.  so, i can definitely see teh financial and tax advantages to not getting married.  that's why first and fore most i think they need to look at the tax code.

ootmother2

No, going to brother's house inn NJ.  I do Easter but the same numbers.

Down with expanding families! !

oops, I guess I should tell ootdaughter about that.  She hasn't got the message yet  :P

mica178

I actually would have no problem with the government issuing domestic partnerships to couples and leaving "marriage" up to the religious institutions. 

I don't really see the point to marriage other than for tax and administrative benefits if you don't believe in God.  Why not separate the administrative stuff from the social/religious? 

But that might be too radical a thought.  Or, maybe the atheists will scream that I'm robbing them of the "right to marriage." 

Calypso1977

oot, did M have her second baby yet?  she must have.... i remember you mentionig a while back she was pregnant again.

I actually would have no problem with the government issuing domestic partnerships to couples and leaving "marriage" up to the religious institutions. 

this is pretty much a good summary of how i feel on the gay marriage issue...i may not agree with someone's lifestyle choices, but regardless of what you do behind closed doors, i think everyone has the right to, for example, decide who should have the right to be in the ER with them, make medical decisions for them, etc.  granted, you can do tehse things anyway with various legal documents, but it sue would simplify things if folks could just get a DP and that woudl suffice.  and they'd be getting taxed in teh same manner that married heterosexual couples are taxed.

mica178

I absolutely agree with you Calypso

DFWIndian

Honestly I never thought of it this way. We come from a long hard core Catholic family. Most of our influences are catholic so I've never seen any other way than marriage as a holy union. I think it's wierd that people don't see it any other way. I've never thought that people don't see it this way.

Wow.. I've been stuck in a bubble. I've never talked to people about why they are getting married just what they are doing.. sorry.. having a moment.

ootmother2

On May 2. 

speedy delivery.  7 minutes from home to delivery.

Be thankful you weren't on Rte. 3 that morning!

Calypso1977

wow!

so glad s/he is here safe!  you must be very excited... good thing NY isnt far from Boston...i assume you get to visit often.

route 3 is dreadful...i frequent the section between Burlington MA and Nashua NH. 

Calypso1977

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_marriage-obsolete?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:eedf40b6-feae-47f5-b9e0-bdf6cf800164Post:d2880fd9-ff23-47af-bf1b-24507047d3dc">Re: Marriage is Obsolete??</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly I never thought of it this way. We come from a long hard core Catholic family. Most of our influences are catholic so I've never seen any other way than marriage as a holy union. I think it's wierd that people don't see it any other way. I've never thought that people don't see it this way. Wow.. I've been stuck in a bubble. I've never talked to people about why they are getting married just what they are doing.. sorry.. having a moment.
Posted by DFWIndian[/QUOTE]


oh, yes... there are ladies on the E board who talk about getting married for the sole purpose of getting health insurance and green cards.

agapecarrie

We have to remember there are spiritual truths to natural law. Which means that when not acting according to natural law, we are harming ourselves...and most of the time, MORE Than just spiritually.

A male/female commited for life couple is not only more stable for each other and their children (in SOOO many ways), but for society as well. Stable healthy families is objectively better.

The fact that people disregard their promises/oaths/whtaever they make in civil marriages so easily is the problem. When wondering why atheists, etc still enter into marriages, one only need to look at this very website for one reason...the wedding industry. but also, the idea of stability, that someone will stick around and work through problems and that you can rely on that ...that is an attractive idea to anyone, as it should be.

mcdol3

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_marriage-obsolete?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:eedf40b6-feae-47f5-b9e0-bdf6cf800164Post:e24f2e6a-11d1-42d3-ace7-c6adf914e1d9">Re: Marriage is Obsolete??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Marriage is Obsolete?? : oh, yes... there are ladies on the E board who talk about getting married for the sole purpose of getting health insurance and green cards.
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

Fi and I are common-law spouses, so we both get health benefits. That certainly was never the purpose of it though.
I was never an aethiest, but never super religious either and I always dreamed of getting married and having a husband. To me it still seems like the proper thing to do, but maybe I'm living in a bubble :( I would never dream of having a child out of wedlock.

I do so how it's becoming more and more common though. Sad because marriage is hard work and it's that hard work that makes families stick together IMO. People have it to easy to just give up when they don't have a messy divorce to deal with.

mica178

I'm going to wax philosophical for a minute.

I watched a movie called "The Invention of Lying," which was definitely blasphemous, but it brought up a couple of good points.  In a completely rational, God-less world, people would get get married because of physical attraction and because of a hope for genetically successful offspring, then the marriage could dissolve once the attraction faded.  There'd be no point to lifelong commitment if there's no God because the biological /evolutionary point to life is reproduction and continuation of the species, so why promise to stick with a person through sickness and poverty?

What so many atheists refuse to believe is that most of modern morality has its roots in Christianity, so when they talk about "being good people without being religious," the people who originally defined that "goodness" were religious people.  Charity and forgiveness, who was the One who first raised their importance to their current level?

I do rather love the saying: "God is love."

But back to my point.  I do think that true marriage must have religious roots.  For non-religious marriages, I point back to domestic partnerships, something ruled by government since the pragmatic atheist should look at marriage as a tax write-off, green card, insurance discount, and a way to make sure that medical decision making passes to the right person, etc.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_marriage-obsolete?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:eedf40b6-feae-47f5-b9e0-bdf6cf800164Post:ee980782-901e-492f-91f8-e43f7167f34f">Re: Marriage is Obsolete??</a>:
[QUOTE]wow! so glad s/he is here safe!  you must be very excited... good thing NY isnt far from Boston...i assume you get to visit often. route 3 is dreadful...i frequent the section between Burlington MA and Nashua NH. 
Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]


umm.  South Shore, Rte 3 goes in both driections!

clearheavens

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_marriage-obsolete?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:eedf40b6-feae-47f5-b9e0-bdf6cf800164Post:879e9d9a-5552-4806-8422-58663ea5799b">Re: Marriage is Obsolete??</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to wax philosophical for a minute. I watched a movie called "The Invention of Lying," which was definitely blasphemous, but it brought up a couple of good points.  In a completely rational, God-less world, people would get get married because of physical attraction and because of a hope for genetically successful offspring, then the marriage could dissolve once the attraction faded.  There'd be no point to lifelong commitment if there's no God because the biological /evolutionary point to life is reproduction and continuation of the species, so why promise to stick with a person through sickness and poverty? What so many atheists refuse to believe is that most of modern morality has its roots in Christianity, so when they talk about "being good people without being religious," the people who originally defined that "goodness" were religious people.  Charity and forgiveness, who was the One who first raised their importance to their current level?<strong> I do rather love the saying: "God is love."</strong> But back to my point.  I do think that true marriage must have religious roots.  For non-religious marriages, I point back to domestic partnerships, something ruled by government since the pragmatic atheist should look at marriage as a tax write-off, green card, insurance discount, and a way to make sure that medical decision making passes to the right person, etc.<div>Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

</div><div>I absolutely agree.</div>