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Unity Candle

PressMePressMe member
First Comment
in Catholic Weddings
I've been Catholic for less than a year and have never attended a Catholic wedding.  FI and I are having a Nuptial Mass.  Although unity candles aren't an official part of a religious ceremony (Catholic or Protestant), I looking forward to it.  

After choosing our readings, prayers, etc. I'm starting to waiver.  There are so many beautiful unifying acts, is it overkill to add another one?  Please give me your thoughts on unity candles.  I'm trying to decide if I want it because that's what I'm accustomed to seeing.  TIA
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Re: Unity Candle

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    rlb81rlb81
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We aren't having one. As per our church handbook, unity candles are NOT a Catholic act or symbol (and actually aren't permitted in my church).
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    Riss91Riss91 member
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    edited December 2011
    Although I have seen them done in some Catholic ceremonies, I am not really a fan of it. As you said, they aren't really a Catholic tradition and I think there are so many beautiful parts of the ceremony, that you do not need to add anything.

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I second rlb81and Riss91. They are NOT considered part of the Catholic ceremony/tradition, and our priest does not allow them. If we wanted one we could have it at the reception, no problems, just not at the church. I am not a big fan of them either, marriage in the Catholic church is a sacrament and everything is through God's grace, so I don't really see a need for them either.
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    berrytrberrytr
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    edited December 2011
    We're not having one, either. 
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    meltoinemeltoine member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto everyone else. They're not Catholic tradition and most priests frown upon the practice. I would leave it out. 
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    Clare13Clare13 member
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    edited December 2011
    OK I guess I am the only one doing one.  My parents did one at their Catholic wedding 30+ years ago.  All of the Catholic weddings I have been to in Minnesota have included one. (I think it might be a regional thing.)   I really like the mothers lighting the individual candles and FI and I then lighting the unity candle.  It is just one more symbolic way to show we are united.  Although it is not an official part of the Nuptial Mass, and an option, I have not had any of the priests or deacons care either way.  There are many unifying acts that are beautiful, this is just one more way to physically display it and include your family if you like. 
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    Theresa626Theresa626 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've been to Catholic weddings that had a unity candle. At the church I'm getting married at, the music minister suggested putting the unity candle together with the marian devotion.  However, I'm bringing my own priest and he said no unity candle because it's not Catholic.

    I didn't want a unity candle any way.  I'm the clumsiest person in the entire world. i'm one hundred percent positive that I would have shaky hands and set my dress on fire or something.  I don't think it will matter if you have one or don't have one.It's just up to your preference. 
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    agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The unity candle was invented on a soap opera.

    Everything in the liturgy has theological reasons behind it, even down to when the priest holds his hands out, and folds them.

    Communion IS the unity. It's the marriage of the lamb, our ultimate goal, when earlthy marriage is an icon of that pointing us to it. There is no need to symbolize a union when it actually happens.

    If you are driving to disneyland, and you see a sign that says "10 miles to disneyland"...its like getting out and decorating the sign and taking pics of the sign, when instead you can go right to disneyland.
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    wparsons1223wparsons1223 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Maybe it is a midwest thing. I have seen them here in Michigan. We are doing it and we actually bought our Unity candle at a Catholic Supply Store that is on the grounds of the Dioceses retreat center. I am looking forward to it and it is a way to incorporate the Mothers into the ceremony.

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    baystateapplebaystateapple member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    We had the option of doing it, but FI didn't want to.  I think he thought it was just one more thing he had to worry about.  But I can understand why people like doing them.  It can be very beautiful and moving.
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    preciosa4preciosa4 member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm in Wisconsin and every Catholic wedding I've been to has had one.  I never heard that any churches had a problem with them until on this site!  I'll be really disappointed if I can't...it's a beautiful moment, in my opinion.
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    Kaye SmithKaye Smith member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are deciding if we want to do one.  Every Catholic wedding I have been to has one - I know it's common in Filipino Catholic weddings. 
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    Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
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    edited December 2011
    maybe you could do Flowers for Mary and have the two moms present the flowers with you.  that's a catholic ritual, and it would include the moms too.
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    lauraNkieranlauraNkieran member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Every Catholic wedding I've been to has had one and we will be including it.
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    breannemariebreannemarie
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    edited December 2011
    ditto....i agree it's a regional thing. in Nebraska, it's in EVERY Catholic ceremony! cannot wait for my Mom to light my candle and join it with FI's!!!!
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    mswood1977mswood1977 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My parish doesn't allow unity candles.
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