Dress Help!

chrissyinatl

I'm actually waiting on the guidelines from my church, but I know that we cannot show shoulders or cleavage.  When I went shopping at Davids Bridal for my dress (and my bridesmaids) I was aware that I was probably going to have to add a piece in later for me, but I didn't know for my bridesmaids too!

Obviously most BM dresses (and wedding dresses) are not very conservative so I can't be the first one with this issue.

What did you guys add to your dresses to make it acceptable for the ceremony?  I saw that DB has bolero jackets, I'm considering that, and then maybe having my BMs sew in a little piece in the cleavage area (they can remove it for the reception if they want to?)

baystateapple

I wore a bolero (pic in sig) that I got from ebay.  It was really comfortable and I felt much more comfortable without my shoulders exposed.  I suggest ebay, if you're looking.

jesslovespete

I think it depends on the Parish. They don't have any restrictions where we are getting married (I was surprised!). I agree w/ PP though. If you'd like to/need to cover I'd go with the bolero.

chrissyinatl

Yeah my church said that cleavage and shoulders have to be covered.

I think for ME I will do the bolero.  Wondering what to do about my BMs though?

aimers1525

What if you bought the BM's pajminas? I've seen that for several weddings and it looks cute.

Calypso1977

my sister bought a gown from david's and got hte matching bolero.  honestly, i think the bolero made the dress!  it was much classier than the strapless dress standing alone.

Riss91

I had cap sleeves added to my dress as did any of my BMs that just bare shoulder dresses. They were removable so they could take them off for the reception if they wanted to. Only one of them did!

chrissyinatl

I thought the boleros looked SO cute, they had a little ruffle.  I think my BM dresses are kind of a chiffon material though, so we'll have to go try them on.

Cap sleeves are a good idea. 

What did y'all do to cover up the cleavage?

[Deleted User]

Our church did not have any restrictions, however, I have heard of parishes/priests having them so I made sure I asked before purchasing a dress. Our priest told me that as long as it was modest, I was okay.

laurenes

Hmmm, boleros aren't my thing, but good thing you like them! My church hasn't informed me of any dress guildlines, but I've seen pictures of weddings there before that are strapless/shoulderless.

For my BMs, they ended up loving the Y neck style they had at Davids Bridal (it's on my look book. No clevage possible, very elegant, and very classy.

Either way, you can probably get your girls a shawl. I've seen those on a lot of wedding shows and depending on how you chose to wrap it it should cover up any unwanted skin. Plus it will let you add a fun punch of texture or color.

mica178

My church didn't have any specific restrictions.

Have you looked at places other than DB?  Some of the J Crew BM dresses have higher necklines, but they tend to be sleeveless.  I had my BMs design their dresses on styleshake.com , and I asked them to make sure the dresses weren't strapless or decollete.  I found the prices were comparable to DB BM dresses for nicer fabric and designs the girls actually liked.

hlq2011

I'm wearing a bolero made for the dress: http://www.maggiesottero.com/dress.aspx?line=m&style=A3398

My church doesn't allow strapless, but it'll allow  halters and spaghetti straps.

I can't for the life of me figure out how the tiny little strip of a spaghetti strap makes a difference.  And it annoys me because the deacon claims it's a diocese rule, when I know for a fact that other churches in the area are fine with strapless.

chrissyinatl

Yes, a spaghetti strap really isn't much material!

My dress AND my BM dresses are halters - to be honest, they have quite a bit of material. 

I am still waiting to get the official document from the church about attire, they said they were sending it over this morning, ugh!  Meanwhile I have been freaking out all day!

hlq2011

I only mentioned halters because I'm really not clear what the church is looking for... a halter leaves the upper back pretty much bare, spaghetti straps leave everything pretty much bare.  I don't get it.

Edit to add: What dress are your girls wearing?  Maybe see if you can get a hold of some photos of weddings that took place at your church and see what those girls wore.  If the necklines are similar to the dress(es) you've chosen, maybe you're good to go?

I know I was able to find photos of prior weddings at our church by stalking local photographer blogs and using google image search.

Hope61

My mom is making shawls for the girls--it will be much cheaper. Watch the cost on whatever you ask them to get--boleros can get expensive! As for the cleavage, only one or two of my bridesmaids noticed that problem when ordering their dresses, and the woman at DB told the one that they could just alter the straps a bit and that should help.

carmen9311

for cleavage, just get a bandeau-- i wear them all the time with my dresses and it's great! soma also has bras now with a little attachment that looks like a camisole

GardeniaLily

My church doesn't have any restrictions (I, too, was surprised), but if there were restrictions then I would definitely go the route of getting wraps from Amazon. They're in all kinds of colors and they're CHEAP. Much cheaper than a bolero from David's.

Click me

chrissyinatl

Thank you, everyone!

MuddyInsignia

I wore a bolero from David's as a bridesmaid in another wedding. I have also used a pashmina in 3 other weddings. I have also seen where they just had spaghetti straps sewn onto the bridesmaid dresses. I have also heard that some churches will count the veil as "covering your shoulders" if you wear a veil down there, even if it is translucent.

Most good wedding gown tailors can sew cap sleeves or raise the neckline to cover cleavage.

Good luck!

chrissyinatl

OK so I finally found out that a WRAP will be fine, if we can kind of tie it correctly for the bridesmaids.  And they will have to sew a little flap in to cover their cleavage - I told them just to take it from what they have to take off the bottom - most of my girls are short and will have to have a few inches taken off.

For me, I think I'll go with a bolero jacket.....

Thanks everyone for the help, you guys are awesome!

MopsieB

I'm going strapless. I've heard of no restrictions at my church but it's too late if there are any- I'm a human being, with shoulders and a healthy, normal body. I don't see why I should have to cover it up. God made me and I'm not embarrassed!

MopsieB

If churches spent more time actually paying attention to the marrying couple and the sanctity of marriage, as opposed to focusing on censoring women, there would probably be a lot fewer divorces in the world.

agapecarrie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:fce40615-0d86-4a31-a969-68c313185c4bPost:8facc292-ab06-4bec-98ba-f4ab02daf079">Re: Dress Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going strapless. I've heard of no restrictions at my church but it's too late if there are any- I'm a human being, with shoulders and a healthy, normal body. I don't see why I should have to cover it up. God made me and I'm not embarrassed!
Posted by MopsieB[/QUOTE]

We should be modest because we should protect our dignity from abuse and others shortcomings/lusts/etc .

Our bodies are not for sale or for others to ogle or view without respecting the soul as well. Showing too much encourages this.

Riss91

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:fce40615-0d86-4a31-a969-68c313185c4bPost:c61c9c7d-3a6f-467f-a8ab-657a413a7af1">Re: Dress Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]If churches spent more time actually paying attention to the marrying couple and the sanctity of marriage, as opposed to focusing on censoring women, there would probably be a lot fewer divorces in the world.
Posted by MopsieB[/QUOTE]

Mopsie, I'm sorry but this comment is absurd. While I agree that there's always ways to improve in our preparations for receiving the sacrament of marriage, there is abosultely NO WAY that being modest is a way of CENSORING women!!! And to attempt to link that to divorce rates is just disgusting.

Do you think women traipsing around in little clothing is beneficial to women? Do you think turning women's bodies into a piece of meet garners more respect for them? I think not.

I think it's actually crazy that churches HAVE to have rules to prevent women from showing up to church half naked. They should do it of their own accord.