Both FI and I flew home for the weekend. It was good to visit with him. He has lost 18 pounds since my visit in January. He's on heavy duty pain meds. He once tried a day without them to see whta kind of pain he really has, and it left him crying in bed in the fetal position. They are going to reserach palliative care today and get referrals.
My mom is fukking crazy. So you remember how traumatic it was for her to even fathom coming to my July wedding? I actually never knew if she was coming or not. She was so stressed with my dad and her mother, that I said, "Mom, if you truly honestly think you simply cannot handle coming to my wedding in July, I will not hold it against you forever if you don't show up. Of course I'd love to see you there but I will understand if it's simply too much for you." She was being pretty mean with her comments too, which all started after I said I cannot host her and my sister's family in my home before and after the wedding.
Then you know what the woman said? At dinner with my dad across the table from her, she said, "I want to go to Utah in May! I want to see Aches National Park and Bryce. Yeah, I want to go in May. I buy all my tickets when I've had a drink in me first (she was working on a margarita at this point). I want to work on my bucket list." She means do this trip with me. I drive, I make the hotel arrangements, etc.
I'm just SHOCKED at this point. May is a much worse month than July - timing wise! Without saying the obvious right in front of my dad, I say, "Mom, let's talk about this later." She's like What? You don't want me to come? I thought you said May was good weather?"
At this point my sisters are thinking WTF??? One sister's boyfriend was saying to my sister, "Somebody has to stop her!"
Later that night, I have to say to her, "Do you realize why we are considering cancelling the wedding? If July is too close for comfort (to dad's death), then May is 10x worse." She did NOT apologize or say it was the margarita talking; she said, yes I get it.
Then in the morning, it was eating me up. I wanted some clarification. I wanted to point out the irony of it. I wanted to know if she was drunk, or on xanax, which could explain things. I didn't want to jump to conclusions and wanted to give her a chance to clarify.
She got all defensive. First she blamed the margarita and then called me naive. Then she actually defended her comments saying she is justified. She's been putting her life on hold for a decade because of dad's health and how dare anyone question her comments on having the notion of a vacation when she feels like it. Then she said not to worry, she's never coming to Utah ever again. I said, as in the next 20-30 years you are never coming out to visit me in the future? She said no she cannot afford it anyway. I said if you cannot afford a $250 ticket then we need to sit down and assess your finances. She ended the topic by walking away.
WTF.