The Ms./Mrs. debate. Escort card wording!

salvuccj

I had this dilemma when I sent out invitations, and still don't fully understand the etiquette.    How do you address a woman who is married but did not change her name?  Ms. or Mrs.?   What about a widow?  Also, should I be making the distinction between "Ms." and "Miss"?  Or are those the same thing?   (So bad at this).

I know it's a little detail but I'm afraid to offend.  I hoped people might send back their RSVP cards with their official title but no such luck.

Thanks in advance!

bridetobe71412

Widows - Honestly, it's a matter of preference. Some women go back to their maiden names (e.g. Ms. Jane Smith), others like to be addressed as their first name and their late husband's last name (Mrs. Jane Doe), others like the traditional "Mrs. John Doe" (i.e. Mrs. [HIS First and Last name]).

*FYI: My mother is a widow and she goes by the second way -- Mrs. Jane Doe. She isn't offended if people put Ms. though. If they haven't told you their preference, I think Mrs. Jane Doe is fine.  

Ms. for any adult woman (i.e., over 18) who is unmarried or who is married AND kept her maiden name. So, "Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Smith" for a married couple where the woman kept her name.

Miss is for under 18s only.

Hope that helps. (Sorry - I was trying to use examples to be clear but not sure if I helped!)

Madisonpenny

If someone is married but kept their married name they are still MRS.
For a widow I would use MRS.
I would write MS for a unmarried women who is above the age of 18 and Miss for anyone who is a teenage or younger.

To me Miss just seems very young where as Ms. seems more mature.

salvuccj

So helpful already.  Thanks ladies!

BmoreBride311

I agree with Madisonpenny's advice. But I am just avoiding the headache and not using titles on ours. If your wedding is somewhat informal, you could do the same.

arunkumar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_the-msmrs-debate-escort-card-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:9da28ce8-2b4c-4aac-8ded-3b4b6964e220Post:09c53924-67f8-4b6c-9f3f-da61ed064d31">Re: The Ms./Mrs. debate. Escort card wording!</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with Madisonpenny's advice. But I am just avoiding the headache and not using titles on ours. If your wedding is somewhat informal, you could do the same.
Posted by BmoreBride311[/QUOTE]

Same here. I'm also using people's nicknames on the escort cards. I only used their full names and titles on the invitations.

bridetobe71412

http://www.emilypost.com/communication-and-technology/notes-and-letters/96-guide-to-addressing-correspondence