So I have around 8 months until my wedding, I feel like I half so much stuff done and planned. But really I have nothing done. I've tried on a few dresses that I really like and feel in love with both of them. Im not sure if I should keep trying dressed on until I get that moment, or i sit there and think am I ever goin to have that wow moment? As I sit here and plan my wedding I feel like I am doin it all on my own. Nobody really wants to help or offers to help. There has been so many times that I want to give up my special day and have a very small and simple wedding and have a blow out reception w. friends . But I know that the FI wants to give me the day that i dream of. But honestly i dont know what i want. I dont know what to do with the FI and my mom they both really can't stand each other my FI wont go over to my moms house unless if i pretty much force him to go. I have so many doubts in my head on what to do with my wedding . I want my father to be there but i dont want him to make my day ackward cause we have only seen each other once in probally the last 3 years or so ... i want him there to do the father daughter dance but i d k. the more i sit back and start to think of the people i asked to help me celebrate my day isn't there for me when i need them . i have one that is 5 or 6 months prego and one that is a about a month prego ... and had one girl already dackdown from her spot. awhile back i started to feel that as i got futher into puttin everything together and started planning the more i started to realize that i am not suppose to get married, cause around that time the fi and i got into an argument and called the wedding off all cause i had a doubt in my head that i was goin to get married and have a child or 2 with him and then by the time i was 24 or so i was a single mom and divorced. so that caused this big huge thing..... the wedding is still on. but i will always have that thought n the back of my head just cause everyone in my family that has been married has been divorced or is working on another divorce there is only one happy married couple in my family .... but anyways now that i got my ventin out of the way, i might go and do a lil bit of planning .....
LrE_n_KmD 4vEr