Small, Intimate Wedding

frozenxthoughts

Hi Ladies!

I'm having a small, intimate wedding with a grand total of 50-52 guests (including our 2 photographers) expected to come. My FI and I wanted a small wedding so that we could be sure to spend lots of time with all of our guests, and I thought it would be wonderful to celebrate our day with those closest to us. We will personally know every single person there above an acquaintance. This was incredibly difficult though as we couldn't allow people to bring dates or significant others (some of my friends seem to change significant others every month so I can't keep up!). 

I just was wondering if there was anyone else out there either planning a small wedding or has already had their small wedding. What I'm most worried about is my guests bringing extra people (even I tried to make that clear on the invitations in a subtle way, and everyone will know everyone). Did your guest list end up completely blown out of proportion? Were the guests happy? What were some of the challenges to a small guest list?

Any advice/comments are welcome. Thanks!

sprat85

On our invitations it stated something like "we have reserved __ seats for you".  That why there was no question whether they could bring a guest or not.

bella3609

We're doing 80, and booked a venue that will only hold 80. We love the venue, and we want a small wedding, but it has so far posed a few tricky situations. I've had some awkward conversations with people who thought certain people would be invited and TOLD THEM AS MUCH even though they're not even associated with the wedding in any way. And FI is having to cut out a few friends he grew up with in favor of a few cousins on his dad's side. We haven't figured out where the vendors will fit in there since we're right at 80. We have a ways to go, but it's tough.

HOWEVER. I will say that I know despite these troubles, that we will ultimately be really happy about our wedding day and have no regrets. All the people we're inviting are people we would be sad if they couldn't make it. None of the people we're leaving out fit in that category, even though they're all lovely. We want to be able to remember who we saw and talked to at our wedding, and most of all, we're on a budget, and we don't want to be stressed out/in debt before and after the day. So I'm really happy with our decision to keep it small-ish.

As for invitations, we're leaning toward the "number of seats" option, but we are also doing belly bands so people know who is included in that number of seats. This sounds weird, but we don't want my cousins who have two kids decide to bring their grandfather (on their mom's side, so not related to me) and uncle to fulfill their 4 seats, since we're planning to pay for 2 kids' meals as part of their party ;-)

frozenxthoughts

Thanks ladies, as  you can see my wedding is right around the corner. I also included "we have reserved X number of seats for you," in the invitations; however, I had to track down so many people for not returning RSVPs that it just worries me that it will be overlooked. I tried my best to make it apparent that we were keeping it small without being rude.

We're hoping to stay under 55 people, and if my count is right...we should be at no more than 52, of course give or take a few people who may not show up due to unforeseen circumstances

sweetie1184

You will have to let me know how it goes! I'm a little worried myself. We invited 60 people total. 22 aren't coming whick through our numbers off. We have a minimun food and beverage purchase we have to make. We now, we have a total of 38 people and plated dinner (from buffet) and open bar (from beer and wine only).

So now, I'm with you on this one, if people bring extra guests, or the ones that declined actual show up, we won't be able to afford everything. I think with it being so small, everyone is close enough that they know the situation. I don't think they would do that to me, but I understand your worries!

frozenxthoughts

I will definitely let you know how it goes Sweetie! I'm sure it'll all work out. I guess we can only make it so obvious we'd like to keep it at a certain number. I swear the guest list was the most stressful part for me with this wedding!

sweetie1184

I think you'll be just fine. If 4 or 5 extra people are brought (and cost isn't an issue for you, it's my most stressful part!) I doubt you'll hardly notice or care! I think you'll be having too much fun

Kristin789

>>has already had their small wedding.

Yes, we had 25 people total, including photog and officiant, etc.

>>What I'm most worried about is my guests bringing extra people
 
We had no problem with this.  Hopefully you won't either.

>>Were the guests happy?

Yes, they felt special to be CHOSEN to attend, instead of the usual method of sending invitations to everyone.

>>What were some of the challenges to a small guest list?

Well, a few people - and I mean A FEW - were surprised that they weren't invited.  And I said quickly, "Well, my mom hosted the wedding and the guest list was very very small."

I loved having a small wedding, mostly for the reasons you stated in your original post.  I would not change that at all if I had to do our wedding over.