stressing

jazzyandcorey

So I thought I had eveything planned, the venue, dress, dj, photographer, makeup and bridesmaids. Well I was going to have my wedding at the Grand plaza but we went for our second tasting and it was horrible food at both tasting, to make  a long story short they were nice and gave us our money back. I thought it would be easy finding another venue that was similar but it is not as easy as I though. I have a couple places picked out and now I just have to narrow it down. But now I have to book a linen company, limo company and find someone to who sets up beach weddings on Anna Maria island. In the midst of all this one of my bridesmaid's calls me at 10 o'clock in the evening and backs out, her excuse, I have no money. That's bs to me because she can drink every night of the week but cant pay for a 100 dollar dress. Then My MOH keeps bailing out on me when I ask her 2 weeks in advance to do wedding stuff but she is always out of town every weekend. I think I am going to demote her and have someone who is reliable. I am also working and going to USF so I have a lot on my plate. I have to stress to someone because If I let it out on the FI he just says don't worry about and that's not the answer im looking for. Any advice will help!! Thanks

ltetidrick

Hi!

First and foremost, I am so sorry that this is all happening this way.  I hope you find all the answers very soon.  If it makes you feel better my FI is the same way, always tells me to relax when all I want to do is scream and yell about how frustrated I am.  My MOH is also vary flaky...so I can relate. 

Anyway,  I just went to the Treasure Island Yacht and Tennis Club and I have booked my reception there.  (Like literally a day ago)  They are VERY affordable.  I have not tried the food yet...so that could go one of two ways...which you already know! But the venue is very nice, they just remodeled everything and Yvonne there Director of Catering/Events is so nice and easy to work with.  She returns my emials and phone calls within minutes!

Just thought I would throw the venue suggestion out.  It is not too far away from the Grand Plaza. 

As far as the bridesmaids go, I hope they have a change of heart on the money situation.  She if she will consider trimming her bar tab...or mabe remind her that she made a commitment as a bridesmaid. 

Good luck with everything! Positive vibes coming your way!!!

bnwgator

I am curious- what did you taste test at Grand Plaza and why didn't you like it? We are having our wedding there, and we had our tasting last weekend. The veggies were seriously overcooked but they assured us that adjusting the cooking time wouldn't be a problem. Our chicken dish was perfect and really tasty...Oh my goodness, you've just caused a middle of the night freakout for me!

On the other hand, Anna Maria is beautiful and if you end up having your wedding on the island I am sure it will be wonderful.

Samigfb

Hi,

Old-time knottie, havent been here in a while and bored at work so stopped in.  I looked at your profile and it seems like you have almost 8 months until your wedding.  You should not be stressing this much.  First, focus on finding a venue, that is a priority.  You do not need to worry about linens until you find your venue because the venue may have linens included or may have a company they go through which will cut down searching for you.  Second, do not stress about the limos, most of my friends booked limos 2 months prior to their weddings.  Also, your limo company will want to know all the stops along the way that day so you should probably get a venue prior to the limos.

Regarding your bridesmaid that backed out, I know it is disheartening to have a friend bail but honestly, what an individual does with their money is their own business.  Being a bridesmaid is much more of a financial commitment than a $100 dress.  There are shoes, hair, makeup, throwing a shower, shower gift, wedding gift, throwing a bachelorette party, etc.  Everytime I have been a bridesmaid it has cost almost $1,000.00 or more.  Be thankful she backed out now, giving you time to find a replacement rather than a week or two prior. 

Regarding your Maid of Honor, again it is 8 months prior to the wedding.  What is it that you want her to do with you?  A MOH's job is to sign the marriage license, stand next to you on the wedding day, give a toast, straighten your dress during the wedding and handle your bouquet and all the financial contributions of a bridesmaid.  Its not her job to help with programs or menus or picking out flowers or anything with the wedding planning.  Yes, it is nice if they do that but it is not a requirement.  The only thing it would be good for her to be a part of is picking the bridesmaid dresses.  If she cannot make the time, then pick them on your own.  If she complains, remind her that you offered her the opportunity to help.  Remember, nobody cares about your wedding day as much as you do.  To your friends, your day seems very far off, they probably do not think anything needs to be done until much closer in time.

I recommend that you do not demote your MOH.  You will likely hurt feelings and may ruin a friendship for life.  Its not worth that.  Regarding your other bridesmaid, find a time to sit down with her and have a heart to heart.  You may even offer to set up a payment plan with her, help her set aside $20 or so each month for the dress and other expenses.

cmeyer3946

I do agree with Samifgb and your FI, haha.  It sounds like your excited and very well organized but I don't think you should be stressing this far away from the game.  You will find a venue that suits your taste.  I didn't even start interviewing venues until 8 months out.

re: your BMs.  You will ruin your friendship with your MOH if you demote her.  You asked her to be your MOH because she has been a good friend not because she won't run errands with you.  the pp is right, no one cares about our wedding day more than the bride.  sit down and have a heart to heart, don't demote her out of spite.  If your other BM friend backed out because of the financial committment, that's her decision as disappointing as it is.  But it really is a huge financial committment, not just the dress and now you have time to find another bridesmaid who will be willing to give the committment.  Again, it's really disappointing considering she has money to go out boozing and you have full right to vent about that but consider it a blessing in disguise.  Also consider chipping in for your other bridesmaids to buy their dress as a BM gift.

if you are stressing this much, you really should consider hiring a wedding coordinator to help with your stress and organizing.  Get someone who's paid job is to worry about your wedding.  We are all busy and it sounds like you have a lot on your plate.  you might think you don't have money to do that, but they really are worth their weight in gold.

TTnoles

agreed with all PP's!

jazzyandcorey

Thanks ladies, It was just a bad day. But I am not going to demote her, it would just be wrong to do that. My fiancée took control and is working on everything for me while so I don't stress. I guess I thought I could handle planning a wedding and going to school. Thanks for all of the encouragement!!!

jazzyandcorey

To BNWGATOR- We tried the Mahi, which did not taste like mahi, Jerk chicken and that wasn't spicy at all, The steak and that was the only good thing. We also tried the chicken marsala and it was ok. We also tried everything on the itlian menu and we had to force ourselves to eat, the parmesan chicken was so tough to cut that it took my fiancée like 5 minuets to cut it and he was shaking the table.The only thing that we really liked was the crab salad and 3 bean salad. I loved the venue just not the food. I didn't want to have a panic attack and I didn't want to sway you away from the grand plaza. I hope this helps