I will stir up some fun drama for you.
I'm not really bothered by this anymore, I just thought you'd get a kick out of this. Ahh, storytime...
My big sister has been a real pain in my neck. Since FI and I have been together, 7 years, she was always nagging me about getting married. I had to defend myself and our relationship a lot. She was the only member of my family that would nag me--everyone else just seemed happy I was happy. It just wasn't the right time in our lives for it (career, housing, finances, etc.) Finally it just felt right, so FI proposed this past Christmas. Now she can shut it about that.
In the early planning stages, she was so excited at first and offered to help me with whatever I needed because our mom has Alzheimer's. Then, unexpectedly, came the paradigm shift. She called me one night this Spring and suddenly told me she could only afford to send one member of her family (her, my teenage nephew, or her 3rd husband) to the wedding and that I needed to pick who goes. Whaaat! This was ridiculous news. She has 3 boats, 2 camps in the Adirondacks, and has a decent job. She actually tried to put it on me, and said, "I am your sister, so it's important that I go, but it's really just one day, and [nephew] really wants to go to FL, so if I had to pick who goes, it would be him." I said, "So only [nephew] is coming?" Her: "If that's your decision." Me: "No, that's your decision!" Yikes.
Meanwhile, while FI and I have been working weekends and overtime to scrape up some money to pay for our wedding, sister continues to invite us out to one of her 2 camps or out on one of her 3 boats. If you read between the lines here, it's as if she's saying, "Sorry, lil' sis, I can't make your wedding in FL because my luxury items are too much of a drain on my finances." Double yikes.
Also meanwhile, I would occasionally send her updates from Expedia and the like about the true affordability of the trip. She was always very quick to reply, "Sorry, just can't swing it." And then something like "PS wanna come out on our boat?"
This really bothered me this summer. I couldn't figure out how my big sister wouldn't put a few things aside to come to her sister's wedding. I still can't. Other people close to me and the planning process couldn't believe that she was so oblivious to the fact that she was really hurting me. FI's parents, his brother, my girls, etc. Even my older brother was mad at her.
State of the nation: Now she is coming, as of 2 weeks ago. I basically had to guilt her into it by asking her, "Is this how you really want to remember your little sister's wedding? By not coming?" I also mentioned that the wedding photos would probably be the last good photos of all of us together with our mom, who is well enough to get around but has marked mental difficulty at this point. It's pretty pathetic that I had to stoop to that, but my FI backed me up all the way on all of this. When she wasn't coming, he said he'd be the first one to tell my sister she can pay for the wedding photos if she wants copies of them!
During the time when I thought she wasn't coming, I had made some preliminary seating arrangements that obviously didn't include her. Now that she is coming, she won't be sitting with the "logical" grouping of siblings. She asked to be put at a table with them and my nephew, but my nephew specifically requested that she NOT sit with him, and FI says, "No, why would we ruin everyone else's night like that?" Ha. So last week, she made a fuss about why she's sitting with FI's aunt, uncle, and cousins (who don't know what a big B she has been). I told her, "I don't have a spot for you at that table."
Ultimately, I am just over it now. Once she gets there she'll realize where she sits is fun, and she'll hopefully enjoy herself. But part of me kind of wants to get her back and single her out for what she pulled this summer, and part of me also hopes she's miserable the whole time! :P *evil grin* There won't be any drama on the big day, nor do I want other guests to even sniff it, but she can sit in her little "corner" for all I care!