Rehearsal Dinner Question

heidilein13

Hey ladies, I appreciate all your advice and now that its closing in I have a REALLY GOOD question for you.  Here's the deal, one of my very best friends (guy friend-forever platonic) who got married last November to a snarky, whiny know-it-all, will be one of my hubs groomsmen and of course HE is invited to the rehearsal dinner.  

Now its obvious she and I don't like each other, but we've always been pretty civil.  I know him like 17yrs, he will always be my friend and I'll pick my battles with her.  Now last year at her bachelorette "dinner" I was begged to go by one of her bridesmaids (a mutual friend) as even her own MOH didn't show up.  I took pity and for MY friend I took time off from work and drove all the way up to north Tampa (i'm in st pete and not familiar w/tampa that much) and also then proceded to pay for mine, and 2 other guests dinners (both mutual friends) AND got her a pricey gift.  I like to overgift, its my thing.  ;o) 

Now cut to MY bachelorette, we are doing a dinner early in st pete and then going out dancing w/a limo.  She declined even the dinner claiming she has to be up early.  So does every other girl thats going b/c its a Thursday night AND dinner is at 630p!!!  Thats practically early bird!  Its fine, I'm ok with her not going since I don't care for her anyway, but then she invited herself to the RD claiming "spouses are included".  Um, not at mine!  None of the guys are bringing their ladies.  My sis is bringing her b/f but they are coming down from NY and I feel maybe I can blanket this by saying, "Sorry, bridal party only and out of town family", but I REALLY feel its none of her beeswax who i invite, just not her.  The only thing that makes me feel SLIGHTLY guilty is b/c I know she's getting a room that and the next night of the wedding at the hotel across the street and will actually be hanging around with nothing to do if I don't include her.  I fear she might whine to my friend and thusly cause even further strained relations.  

So spill it girls!  How mean am I?  How obtuse is she?  What say you? 

Roltide75

Include her imo

Life is too short to pick battles with long time friend's spouses

stargazerlily82479

It's always been my understanding that spouses and serious long-time partners/fiances of wedding party *should* be included these kinds of invitations.

TTnoles

I agree with PP.  I would assume that I was invited to a RD if my FI was a groomsmen.  I think things will be fine.  You'll be so busy enjoying the company of all the people that are there to help you and share this time with you and your FI.  Don't sweat the small stuff.

aallenba

I think it's rude not to invite spouse and sign. others of your bridal party to the rehearsal dinner.

teachermegs

Let her come. She is probably thinking that you don't want her there and this is her way to get under your skin. You not making it a big deal will get to her. Enjoy your RD.

petdoc2010

I was under the impression that the spouses or SOs of the wedding party were included in the rehearsal dinner, especially if they are in town, coming to the wedding, and/or will be sitting at a hotel alone.  Just my opinion, but I think you'll give her more reason to dislike you if you don't invite her.  Like you said yourself, pick your battles, because if you don't let her come, she may never let you forget it.