Florida-West Coast

JOP??!

Hey guys! Ok so me and my FI have been thinking, and we realized that we don't want to have to wait the who-knows-how-many years until we can have the wedding we were planning (remember he got switched to a different site and is not making as much money, meaning we can't save up anymore like planned).  We have discussed going the JOP route. For many reasons, we dont want to have to wait years, and financial reasons also (my FI is in the National Guard, also). I could wear a knee-lenght white dress and we can have a "reception" afterwards with close family and friends. But I'm thinking I may regret it, because I have never pictured it going this route. (Also, all of our families have kept telling us to just do a JOP wedding and I just never pictured us doing it.) I always wanted to have our wedding on the beach in FL and I want my family from FL to be there. If we go the JOP route, I cant have all that, or else we might as well just go with the original plan.  I know we can always do a "vow renewal" or whatever you want to call it, later.

I'm just a little bit confused and need some opinions!! TIA!!

Re: JOP??!

  • babybchbumbabybchbum member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you go the JOP way now, you can do a renewal of your vows like JulieNFlo a few years down the line when you can afford the "wedding" of your dreams.

    Remember its about the future you have together, the Marriage, not the Wedding.
  • ufsweetiebearufsweetiebear member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Or, have a smaller version of the wedding. You could have a small, quick ceremony on the beach (where people stand around you) with only the most essential people there and then go out to dinner (rent a private room). What about a weekday? That would give you the wedding you dreamed of, pictures if you hire a photog, and a bunch of memories.
  • NicoleS2106NicoleS2106 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the input! That's actually what we had originally planned though. Since we live in Louisiana right now and FI's family lives here and so does my father and one of my sisters and one of my brothers, we wouldn't be able to pull it off like we had planned. We were originally also going to use the Grand Plaza for our reception, but the idea of going out to eat at a restaurant or something would be ALOT cheaper.
  • edited December 2011
    10 yrs ago we got married and becuase of finances we were not able to have HUGE wedding.  We had a beautiful intimate wedding with family and extremely close friends.  As pp said we did it in a garden setting and had all the guest stand around us.  It was absolutely beautiful and because we only had loved ones there it was something that neither one of us will ever forget.

    Now as for our Vow Renewal we are going all out but the difference is that we can afford it.  Trust me it was well worth the wait.  I have 2 weeks to go before my big day and I can not sleep at night.  As if we were not already married. 

    HTH!!!
    On March 13, 2010 I reaffirmed the LOVE that I have for the MOST important man in my LIFE! And now it is Happily ever after...forever!!!!! Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • NicoleS2106NicoleS2106 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks so much JulieNFlo!! This makes me feel alot better about going this way! I know that if we just have close friends and family around it will still be very special. I'm just worried that some of them wont be able to make it because they live far away from us. Frown I really would love to have my sister and brother that live in FL with us on our special day. But who knows, maybe it will all work out!
  • edited December 2011
    GL sweetie...I will send some knottie vibes and extra prayers that they will be there for you:) 
    On March 13, 2010 I reaffirmed the LOVE that I have for the MOST important man in my LIFE! And now it is Happily ever after...forever!!!!! Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • NicoleS2106NicoleS2106 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks!! And GL and congrats on your special day!! Get some sleep!!! lol
  • edited December 2011
    Why can't you just scale down your wedding to fit into your budget? We are having a small wedding... and although I'm sure some people may think it's strange to not have a blow-out wedding... we only invited the people we really want to be there. I think a smaller simple wedding can be quite beautiful and special. I'm sure you can do a beach wedding on a budget.
  • NicoleS2106NicoleS2106 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh we definitely were on a budget, and things were scaled down quite a bit. But the thing that costs so much is the fact that we were having to pay for some people to get to FL and their stay. And I also had to pay for one of my sister's bridesmaids dress. If that wasn't the case, I'm sure we would have been able to pull it off. Maybe we could also just not use the Grand Plaza for the reception and just find something else.
  • heidilein13heidilein13 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My hubs and I also got married via JOP back in August, so I could drop my medical insurance (he's active duty air force) and we could save up a bit.  Our big day is now May 15th 2010 and the excitement is no different just b/c the ring is already on my finger.  Its even better b/c we are having my best friend be the officiant and he needs nothing but a suit to get up and do so and we don't have to worry about signing any legal documents.  Also we're a team in everything we do and its great being a team and conquering all this wedding stuff. My 2 cents is do the JOP thing now, but make it a priority to set a date and book a venue for a date in the next year or so and save up and plan so it can be all your dreaming of.  =o)
  • NicoleS2106NicoleS2106 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks!! You're all making me feel alot better about this! =]
  • cmeyer3946cmeyer3946 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OK here goes.  We got married at the JOP in December and are keeping it a secret...well you ladies are the first people I've told, so shhh. :)  We were both in jeans and just did it after work one day!  It was the same thing with the military route, health insurance, housing allowance, etc.  Now we're going to have enough money for the extras on the wedding and to buy a house by the time by 2011.  I don't know if this is the best way to go for everyone, but it sure works for us.

    Our wedding in October is where we make our promise to each other in front of everyone. We're going to consider this our real anniversary but we'll always have our little secret day that was only for us.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Wow!  True confessions of the West Coast Florida Brides! LOL
    Congrats!  :)

    I think a JOP ceremony is great!  No worries, no decor or countless hours planning.  That's not what it's about.  It's all about the love you feel for one another and having a speical moment between the two of you regardless of whether it's a "Platinum Wedding" in front of 300 people or in jeans after work with just you 2 and the JOP.  Either way it will be the most special day of your lives and one you two will cherish forever!
    Brooke + Chavis
    est. 10/10/10


    Photobucket CafeMom Tickers
  • edited December 2011
    There is nothing wrong with being married by a JOP but I'm concerned that you are having to pay for people to travel and stay and for a BM dress.  You are in no way responsible for those things and if you can manage to have your day the way you want it without paying for those things then I would say go for it.  A lot of FI's family can't make it this weekend for one reason or another and some of my family still couldn't either but that shouldn't stop you from planning your day.  Besides, you may be surprised at who will turn up for your wedding.  We thought only 50 people would come and we are having 83 this weekend.
  • NicoleS2106NicoleS2106 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I understand what you're saying. And I know it's not our responsibility to pay for all of that. But there are some financial issues that some of the people are having and I really want them there because they are very important people in our lives. Such as one of my sisters and my father. I just feel that if they are so important to us and that we really want them there, and they can't pay for it, then I'd rather us pay for them. Some people have said to just say oh well and not pay for them, and if they dont come then oh well, but they dont understand the situation.  I really do understand what you're saying though, and I do wish things were different so I didn't have to pay for them. But it is what it is and we just have to make the best of it.
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