The never ending guest list

Brandles17

So FI and I have been working on out STD's and are almost ready to send them out. We decided it would be a good idea to finalize our guest list so we know who to send the STD's to. Our venue has 18 round tables and 18 rectangular tables. I only want to use the round tables for our guest. That means we can only have 144 people not including the wedding party. I never thought this would be an issue but with FI having such a large family we keep adding to the guest list. We are at 200 people right now and that is not including some other people we would like to invite. What is really stressing me out is that we won't know until weeks before the wedding how many guest we will have. Approximately 20% of the guest are OOT. So my big worry here is how many people can we expect to RSVP yes out of the 200-215 invited?? I really don't want more than 144 people.

babybchbum

A way to limit the number of guests is to request that single individuals don't bring a guest, or no children. In my case it really limited my guest list.

Also, Becuase your wedding is on a Friday, some people may not be able to get the day off. Because you are sending out STDs more people will be able to request the time off now, rather than waiting until they recieve the invitation.

GL

NicoleEOle13

Man, I don't know how you girls do such big weddings! I have massive family, but I just put my foot down and only invited about half. FI's mother took over and demanded basically that we invite looooooong lost relatives that my FI has never even met, but that was the beauty of already having a small wedding, they didn't make a big dent.

I would say to make it a rule to ONLY send STD's to as many people as you'd like at the wedding. Obviously not all will say yes, but it's too risky to send out those sort of pity STD's, you know?

BTW, I never received an email bad about the vases

ufsweetiebear

I experienced the same thing. Our guest list steadily crept up because "so and so must be invited". I think if you keep repeating that your venue only holds 144 people, there's very little anyone can say. Stick to your current guest count - you're pushing it as it is.

You should only send STDs to close family/friends that you really want to be there (definitely not all 200) but some people are going to assume that because they didn't get a STD, they aren't invited. Unfortunately in my case, the STDs only caused more issues. Everyone starting calling others to see if they got one and soon it was out of control.

moonstone523

How many guests are OOT?  If you have a lot, inviting 200 is perfect for having around 144 guests. 

Also, if you HAVE to, you could get another table in there for any extra guests.

I think you are fine.  I stressed over the guest list big time too and it all worked out!!!!

GL

cmeyer3946

A good rule of thumb is to assume that 25% of the people invited are not going to be to attend.  If I were you, I would only send out STD to the people you really really want to be there.  I sent STD's out to everyone because 99.5% of my guests are OOT.  I was thinking half would attend but I'm starting to get scared because everyone is telling me how excited they are for it.  Eeek! 

Everyone goes through this painful process...in my opinion it's the worst part of planning a wedding.  GL!

wendyjoy182

Firstly, it'll all work out in the end- you'll be married to the one you love and starting your life together- that's the most important part.  Now, do you want to keep it at 144 because of the cost or simply the round tables?  If it's just the tables, I'd say rent a few more from a rental company so you leep the look you're going for, or see if you can make the rectangle ones work if you don't want to rent.  If it's about the cost per person, I agree with a previous poster to limit single guests to just that- single. no random guest and no children.  People might not like it, but guess what- they aren't footing the bill.  My FI and I are paying for it all so we are keeping it tiny (25) and his parents are so mad- but my FI keeps telling them it's about us and what we want.  I'd give you the same advice- do what you two want and enjoy!!!